Ashamed to be Unemployed (apply, UI, federal, interview)

[brightdoglover]

Men feel so much more pressure to be the breadwinners, or if single, to be "successful." I so deeply resent any woman (or really anyone) who gives an unemployed person static about being unemployed.
How do people cope? I don't know. It's wise of the OP to know that it isn't a logical feeling. Maybe employ some rational self-talk against the negative illogical statements. Remember that the economy bites the big one now for all sorts of skilled, talented, hard-working people in all fields, and no one in a person's life should be giving static about this.
Worry about money? Sure. Worry about stigma? Try to talk yourself out of it- and walk away from anyone who doesn't get it and adds to that feeling.

[kodaka]

Men feel so much more pressure to be the breadwinners, or if single, to be "successful." I so deeply resent any woman (or really anyone) who gives an unemployed person static about being unemployed.

You resent women making such statements...but not men? As if somehow all women are employed and only men are unemployed? As if only men can comprehend the unemployment statistics? As if only men are allowed to talk about it? This doesn't sound like an unemployment issue at all but more of an overall resentment of women.

[Mightyqueen801]

There's no way to tell you how you "should" feel or not feel. My BIL also has been looking for a job for a long time and he is becoming very depressed.

The only thing I can think to say is to do something different each day, whatever that might be. Find some kind of project to work on (when you aren't job hunting)--doesn't have to be a house project--write, paint, learn to identify the trees in your neighborhood, lol--just something that is different from your everyday life so that you are still LIVING and counterbalance the negative feelings.

I wish you the best in your job search, too.

[brightdoglover]

I resent women who view men as walking wallets, as it only adds to the pressure on men to define themselves by earning, which I think isn't fair.
By the way, I am not a guy. I am an equal opportunity egalitarian person, and I see women defining mens' value by their earning/car/watch, and think it's appalling, especially in a time of unemployment, where people have little control over their places in life.

[phoenixscorpiogirl]

Don't feel bad there are a lot of people inn the same boat. But I know when II have been between jobs in the past I always start to freak out but eventually I always came up with something.
When unemployed I would just keep trying, even different jobs out of an y field I have worked in. Also, you can try volunteering. I know you don't get paid for it but sometimes it can lead to a job and it always looks good on a resume. Plus it help syou kill time instead of being bored and worrying so much!
I volunteer at my kids school when I can, but when I was unemployed I went a lot more, and I really enjoyed it b/c I got to know the teachers, staff, other parents, etc. And my kids were thrilled to see me there.
I do not know how old ur kids are or if you enjoy being around other peoples kids but it's an idea. Also, they may ned help with construction type things that would be right up your alley. I know schools always need help and volunteers as they are money strapped. So although, like I said- you wouldn't be getting paid for your time it would be much appreciated and helping others can make you feel pretty good inside

[mattywo85]

I hate being umemployed, I like to be busy so for me to sit on my you know what and look for jobs all day sucks. It sucks too because all of my friends have jobs and I feel like the lone wolf. I have had more interviews then I can count and just no luck. I call employers daily for new and follow up requests, look online, and in the newspaper. I also believe its not what you know, its who you know.

[independentcontractor]

Unfortunately, there is a negative image about unemployment. When you lose your job the first time, people understand. It is economy. When you lose job the second time, it is bad luck. But when you lose job the third time, it will be a test of people's confidence in you, including that of your spouse.

[Roman77]

One thing I hate is encountering people who upon meeting you, immediately ask what you do for a living. I make a point to NOT ask that, I don't care really what your profession is. It's like society has made it where your worth or value is dependent upon what you do for a living. I HATE THAT. There is this perception that you are somehow worthless if you're not employed, and immediately taken less seriously.

[chai26]

I agree Greg. I was at the doctors office yesterday and the nurse said "Oh are you off work on this beautiful day?" I just said "No, I'm not working today."

I get the "What do you do?" all the time upon meeting others. I haven't quite figured out how to answer that except for saying that I'm currently trying to get published (which is true), but even that isn't really good enough. I hate that question. It's like what you do for a living supposed to define you? I don't think so!

Maybe others should ask "what do you enjoy doing in your free time?" I think that is a better way to define a person than through his/her job!

[e_cuyler]

I hate that too, I'm always asked if I'm off work today. I always say yes, because technically, it's true,
but I think with all the people out of work these days that employees who work with the public would be instructed not to make pleasant small talk that assumes that their customers are working.

I usually say something like "Getting some errands done today."