Have You Ever Been Excluded From A Social Event Because You're Veggie? (vegetables, meat)
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This has only happened to me once. I asked my DIL if she wanted to come for dinner, since my son was away. We were having steaks, salad and I forget what else...rolls and baked potato, I think.
She was at the beach with another Army wife and asked if she could bring her friend. I thought to myself, "what luck, I have another steak in the freezer".
Only after they arrived, did I find out that the friend was a vegetarian. The girl was perfectly happy eating the bread and vegetables, but I know if I had been told ahead of time, I would have run out to the store and frantically tried to concoct something more substantial for her.
I know if I had been told ahead of time, I would have run out to the store and frantically tried to concoct something more substantial for her.
Didn't you just say this previously -
Quote:
If you had just kept quiet and ate whatever was there, you would have avoided being discriminated against. Not that it was right, since I really believe you meant what you said, but the hostess must have felt pressure to gear the menu towards you, and opted not to.
Really, in your heart of hearts, do you want to spread the "vegetarian is better" lifestyle? If not, then just be quiet and eat the potato salad.
Yup! So I'm not getting which way you think is best, GentleArts---for the hostess to be given ample warning or for the hostess just to see the food sitting in front of the person uneaten. Not sure why you would have had to run out to the store and frantically try to prepare something for her ahead of time if you were told ahead of time.
Perhaps there is no right or wrong way to do this. A caring, competent hostess may be okay with being "warned" about dietary requirements/ preferences ahead of time---but maybe it places a burden on other hostesses. In my case, I don't think however I had done it (warn the hostess ahead of time or not say anything and just eat whatever I could and then have her or someone else notice and make a big deal about it) would have resulted in an invite back this year. Ironically, the hostess was very appreciative of the thank-you e-mail I sent her for the lunch, noting that no one else did it! But in this instance, looks like meat-eating is more important to her than manners!
Yup! So I'm not getting which way you think is best, GentleArts---for the hostess to be given ample warning or for the hostess just to see the food sitting in front of the person uneaten. Not sure why you would have had to run out to the store and frantically try to prepare something for her ahead of time if you were told ahead of time.
Perhaps there is no right or wrong way to do this. A caring, competent hostess may be okay with being "warned" about dietary requirements/ preferences ahead of time---but maybe it places a burden on other hostesses. In my case, I don't think however I had done it (warn the hostess ahead of time or not say anything and just eat whatever I could and then have her or someone else notice and make a big deal about it) would have resulted in an invite back this year. Ironically, the hostess was very appreciative of the thank-you e-mail I sent her for the lunch, noting that no one else did it! But in this instance, looks like meat-eating is more important to her than manners!
yeah i think the only solution that would make every omni happy is to just not be vegetarian : P
social issues are the thing i dislike the most about being vegan - i hate turning down hospitality! but i don't think vegetarians should be afraid to say they're vegetarian when necessary - if you say "i follow this diet" and they hear "you should follow this diet", that's their problem, not yours!
What was the conflict in what I said?
When the hostess doesn't know, she does not feel pressure to rearrrange her planned menu.
When the hostess does know, she MAY feel pressure to go to last minute changes.
If I knew way ahead of time, I would gladly make allowances, but at the last minute I was glad to not know.
What was the conflict in what I said?
When the hostess doesn't know, she does not feel pressure to rearrrange her planned menu.
When the hostess does know, she MAY feel pressure to go to last minute changes.
If I knew way ahead of time, I would gladly make allowances, but at the last minute I was glad to not know.
i agree that there's no inconsistency in what you said. but what if your sides had been twice baked potatoes with bacon and green beans cooked in chicken stock? there was no need for you to run out last minute and make a whole extra meal just for her, but you could have made a potato without bacon and used a different recipe for beans. and you could have saved that steak for another day.
also the op *did* give their hostess plenty of notice. i think that's much preferable to springing a dietary restriction on someone when you're already there.
I tell people that I'm vegan and offer to bring something. Even when I was vegetarian if I was invited for dinner I mentioned it. I would hate for the host to buy expensive cuts of meat for my wife and I that we wouldn't eat. I think it's rude not to inform hosts. I haven't been excluded from anything dinners because of being veg...not to my knowledge anyway.
I always ask. but, if I get an answer other than vegetarian, vegan or allergic to _____, I just ignore it. The world is not big enough for people who eat eggs and milk but not chicken or butter, etc.
If they say vegan, they get vegan. If they say allergic to sugar, I know they are really compulsive overeaters and I offer something without sugar snd leave it at that.
I don't encourage anyone to bring their own food. If they do and I have a choice within their restrictions, I toss it on the kitchen counter and ignore it until they leave then give it back to them. With two single 20 something sons, I have had all manner of diet issues from the girls they have brought around. The key is to deal with it seamlessly. Accordingly, I always have a gourmet vegetarian frozen item in the freezer for unexpected vegans. My butcher's wife makes an incredible vegan lasagna, and the baker has a tomato, olive and onion pizza that keeps well in the freezer. I usually have both. For a dinner party, I serve what I planned but if if I have a vegan I will add a top flight vegetable in extra quantity that will serve as an entree' as well such as szechwan green beans with toasted soy protein. Or, Chinese broccoli with fried tofu or diced vegeburger.
I must say that it is quite gratifying to see some skinny, nervous little model type, utterly relieved to see an attractive vegan dish in sufficient quantity on the table. The sons are pretty dense when it comes to these things and I am sure the girls have no idea what to expect.
I am not a vegetarian but love meatless meals from time to time. I am very sensitive to everyones dietatry needs and would never exclude someone because they were a vegetarian,in fact when I got married in 2005 we had 2 vegetarians attending. I made sure that there were some vegetarian choices at the cocktail hour and at least 2 vegetarian main dishes at the reception. we had a meat, chicken, fish and the other choice was a grilled vegetable dish with potatoes on the side. Everyone was happy.
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Didn't you just say this previously - 
