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I've been leaning towards becoming a vegetarian again, but have a big obstacle in the form of my husband. He's all about meat. I could never, ever get him to give it up. He'd also freak if I tried it with our young children. So, I won't - it's not a battle I'm willing to take on right now.
So, are there others out there in my boat? I'm the cook in the house. Do you just cook two meals for everyone? If you still cook meat for your family, how is that working for you? I can't ask my husband to cook for himself. Breakfast and lunch, sure, but not dinner. He works long hours with a long commute and travels a lot - it just wouldn't be nice.
I'm just looking for some clues into how this scenario might work out for us. Thanks.
I'm in a mixed veg/omni marriage but my wife has been fantastic and cooks me great veggie meals. Over time she is becoming ever closer to going full veggie herself.
In your case, I would:
- Not make any big pronouncements just yet
- Stop/drasticaslly slow down on buying meat
- Make vegetarian breakfasts and lunch
- Gradually introduce veggie meals into family dinner including ones he won't even know are veggie, like a nice pot of vegetarian chili (made with Morningstar crumbles).
- Eventually come to an understanding with your husband that if he wants meat, he can get it outside the home. Since it will soon be warm enough to grill out so if he wants a steak, he can grill it himself.
Don't forget that since you do all of the cooking, you hold most of the cards. Just do it gradually so that most of the changes will be transparent to him (and give him time to adjust), then have "the talk."
I'm a vegan and he hates all things vegetable. It's all about respect. When we go out to eat, he usually starts asking about vegan options (for me) before I get a chance. I often make vegan meals that he enjoys (spaghetti with bean balls, vegan cupcakes, tofu lasagna which I don't think he realizes has tofu in it, etc.) Other times, I cook something and he fixes a sandwich or Stouffer's lasagna, etc.
I once had a friend that had three boys under the age of five. One had a soy allergy, one was lactose intolerant, and the middle-aged one periodically broke out in a rash and the doctors hadn't quite pinpointed what was causing the reaction. Now THAT made for difficult dinner time decisions!
I've been leaning towards becoming a vegetarian again, but have a big obstacle in the form of my husband. He's all about meat. I could never, ever get him to give it up. He'd also freak if I tried it with our young children. So, I won't - it's not a battle I'm willing to take on right now.
So, are there others out there in my boat? I'm the cook in the house. Do you just cook two meals for everyone? If you still cook meat for your family, how is that working for you? I can't ask my husband to cook for himself. Breakfast and lunch, sure, but not dinner. He works long hours with a long commute and travels a lot - it just wouldn't be nice.
I'm just looking for some clues into how this scenario might work out for us. Thanks.
I don't have any children, but my husband is not a vegetarian. We pretty much fend for ourselves in the kitchen...he makes his meals, and I make mine. He's respectful of my vegetarianism, but he's not inclined to give up meat himself.
I have to show him the same respect he shows me, so I don't say anything about his eating meat. But sometimes when he buys hot dogs and puts them in the fridge, I have to put them in one of the bottom drawers where I can't see them.
My problem is with my stepmother. She makes it very clear she thinks I'm a nutcase, and she refuses to make any accomodations for me at family get-togethers. Dinners are always big roasts or turkeys, mashed potatoes made with chicken broth, vegetables sprinkled with bacon, and corn bread made with bacon grease. Even the salads have chopped egss and bacon bits in them. Basically, there's nothing for me to eat. Luckily for me, I moved 2100 miles away from her, and these dinners only occur about once a year now, and I just eat beforehand and sip an iced tea at the dinner table.
Our family has a tough time. Me: mostly vegan. Husband: mostly carnivore. Children: Multiple food allergies including peanuts, tree nuts, eggs, and chickpeas. Our solution for the time being is that my husband and children will eat a meal prepared by my husband, and I'm eating very easy vegan meals like Amy's soups and McDougall's meal in a cup. My husband does most of the cooking. I'm hoping as my vegan cooking skills grow, I'll be able to prepare meals that everyone likes, but I'm not 100% confident that I will succeed with this.
Before now, I tried the approach of eating differently than my preferences and values, and that didn't work well. So I'm willing to accept the inconvenience of eating differently than other family members.
Thanks for the responses, everyone. Seems like you are across the board in terms of how your families approach it. Xpat, I'll certainly try your advice. I'm grateful we don't have any allergies with which to contend. Jill1972, your stepmother sounds like a piece of work. I don't know why people think it's so strange not to eat meat, but then there are those not fond of chocolate and I'll never understand that.
I too understand your delima, my husband loves his meat, I cooked him bacon and eggs for breakfast while I myself ate a yogurt and a boiled egg, and an apple, for my breakfast. When I cook stir fry I cook mine first take my veggies and tofu, first then add his meat. He dosnt seem to notice, But when he went to subway he bought me a salad with chicken on it, I didnt make an issue of it, I said thankyou and took the chicken off,of course when he wasnt looking, I did not want to hurt his feelings, he knows I eat clean, and it was his way of trying to please me, I was touched by his effort. But one night he did boil me a potaoe, w chopped tomatoes and tossed with olive oil crushed garlic and fresh rosemary,and steamed asparagas, it was wonderful. I think he adds chicken to beef up my protein.( bless his heart)...lol but it is all about respect. I really do not what catagory I fall under, as I do eat eggs and cheese, but I dont eat processed food of any kind as much as possible. due to the fact I have high blood pressure and I really mainly watch my sodium intake.
Hi fjtee, I'm new to this myself. One whole week without meat!
Well, my dh is also a meat lover, and I have four children that have no interest in being vegetarians.
What I have been doing is cooking normally, but I just omit the meat course for myself. It is only fair -- it is not like I came into this marriage a vegetarian, and its not right that because I have made a large change that everyone should do the same. Maybe in time they will too -- who knows? But it cannot be forced. As an example, I had checked out a vegetarian cookbook from the library and my dh was looking at it. He said that a lot of the recepies looked great -- but then added especially if put chicken into them You can lead a horse to water and all that....
So, I will continue to cook meat but I do plan on incorporating more and more veg. meals in as well.
DH was a big meat-eater when I met him, and I was already a vegetarian. We occasionally step on each other's toes- I'll ask him to reduce his meat intake and he'll cajole me to try his "best chicken dish ever"! Apart from that, we haven't had many issues. We make mostly vegetarian entrees with meat on the side. I don't cook meat- DH grills meat for himself all through the summer months and will also throw some veggies on the grill for me occasionally
What really irks me is that when we go out to eat at restaurants, he can sample everything on my plate but I can't do the same with his. Or that we very rarely get to split an entree.
But things are getting better at home. DH is definitely eating healthier because of my food habits! He needs to get a "meat fix" every now and then and it doesn't bother me much. But he can also go for days eating only veggie food with me.
I had it pretty easy. My SO had given up red meat years ago (health reasons) and he never really cared for fish/shellfish.
When we moved in together, he still ate chicken occasionally. I never hassled him about it. Even though I refuse to touch the stuff, I would buy him frozen entrees, canned soup etc. that contained chicken.
It really bothered him that the fuzzy little chicks were treated like "products" instead of living beings. He didn't like the thought that some of the chicken in the products he consumed may have come from factory farming conditions like the ones in the show.
We still use eggs in our house, but buy from small, local, free-range, vegetarian-fed operations.
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You can lead a horse to water and all that....
