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Very poetic! I'm going to try. This is tongue in cheek, I'm not picking on you. More picking on the rat race of NJ.
While driving to work this morning, my heart skipped a beat when an ******* in a Honda civic illegally blew past me on a country road going about 90 MPH. My life flashed before my eyes when I saw that another vehicle was coming from the opposite direction. The ******* in the Honda civic narrowly missed the oncoming vehicle. The silence and peace of a cool, crisp late August morning was broken by the sound of blaring horns and middle fingers. After that near death experience, I continued on my journey down the country road to the highway. Despite going 15 MPH above the speed limit, I was still getting tailgated by another ******* in an Audi. As I came closer to the highway, I was forced to suddenly stop. It wasn't a fawn or a bear, it was an endless sea of red lights. It was a miracle that the ******* in the Audi didn't rear end my vehicle. God was watching me on this fine day. I sat there for what felt like an eternity. Eventually I made it the highway.
At the start of my journey down this state highway, the surroundings are wooded and rural with tall trees and lakes but as you get closer to the interstate, commercial and residential development begins to sprout up...town homes, condos, and retail galore. Whether you want a cup of burnt Dunkin Donuts coffee or reheated leftovers from Applesbees or a shoebox condo for half a million dollars, you'll find it here. The state highway becomes more and more packed with cars...everyone rushing to their places of employment just so that the government can take nearly half of your hard earned dollars.
As I reached the interstate, the glorious sun rose higher into the sky. The temperature was slowly rising. From waking up to the crisp, cool, silent surroundings of Northwest NJ while holding onto a mug of hot coffee and listening to the birds sing to the mayhem known as NJ's autobahn...I never felt more alive. I rolled up my windows and turned on the A/C. Cars came flying from all directions...about half from NJ and half from NY. Occasionally the lost and wandering soul from Pennsylvania would come join us for this journey. Traffic was moving and it was moving fast. I bought my car up to about 75 MPH, but for many this was nearly fast enough. On the bright side, there was no jam. I continued for another few miles, but my heart started to sink when I saw the dreaded sea of red lights ahead me. I turned up the radio, only to have my ear pierced by the crackling sound of AM radio. "Accident over by Exit 40," says the traffic reporter. My heart sank even further. I picked up my phone to quickly text my boss that I will be running late.
I put my phone down and looked up. It was then when I had an epiphany: I must move to Wyoming.
Your commute prose almost made me wet my panties with laughter! We too deal with the fickle finger of fate and those who constantly encourage us to use this gesture (due to their lack of caffeine and driving without it's influence).. Whether the burnt Dunkin Donuts coffee (I refuse to consume now that I have access to an organic store and DARK ROAST - Remember I'm from the Pacific Northwest where coffee is King), or reheated leftovers from Applebee's (shudder), one should be forced to consume before they drive! Truly, I have three cups of coffee...1) For me, 2), for my husband, Jon (unless he begins talking History or calculations before I've consumed #1 - then, it is a refill of number 1), 3), for Society!
Your commute prose reminded me of driving from the suburbs of Portland to downtown Portland, Oregon -
Thank you for the encouragement in my writing...However, I would not recommend Wyoming, but of course, Maine, as a destination to escape...We did and are living our dreams!
Im done ! Let me know when you move to Wyoming... i might had to join you, lets open a ranch or something. I definetely love her poetic style though lol. Im sure even the nastiest weather in our perspective can be turned into a beautiful poem with her!
Thank you for your encouragement in my writing - So glad you enjoyed reading, however, I would always recommend when one comes to this conclusion in their life...choose Maine!
Your commute prose almost made me wet my panties with laughter! We too deal with the fickle finger of fate and those who constantly encourage us to use this gesture (due to their lack of caffeine and driving without it's influence).. Whether the burnt Dunkin Donuts coffee (I refuse to consume now that I have access to an organic store and DARK ROAST - Remember I'm from the Pacific Northwest where coffee is King), or reheated leftovers from Applebee's (shudder), one should be forced to consume before they drive! Truly, I have three cups of coffee...1) For me, 2), for my husband, Jon (unless he begins talking History or calculations before I've consumed #1 - then, it is a refill of number 1), 3), for Society!
Your commute prose reminded me of driving from the suburbs of Portland to downtown Portland, Oregon -
Thank you for the encouragement in my writing...However, I would not recommend Wyoming, but of course, Maine, as a destination to escape...We did and are living our dreams!
Glad you enjoyed it!
I did notice quite a bit of traffic in Portland although a bridge was closed for construction so that probably didn't help matters. The drivers seemed a little less aggressive than here though.
My father worked in Wyoming for several months and while it was beautiful, he said it got really boring after a while. I was just going for the polar opposite of NJ. I love Maine and have a cousin who lives in Bangor.
Interesting, looks like a west atlantic ridge and bermuda high? If so storms depending on the bermuda highs position may be suppressed south to the gulf of mexico. Any storm that tries to recurve also might be pushed closer to the east coast.
Interesting, looks like a west atlantic ridge and bermuda high? If so storms depending on the bermuda highs position may be suppressed south to the gulf of mexico. Any storm that tries to recurve also might be pushed closer to the east coast.
Looks like the Midwestern United States is primed for an even s**tier fall weather pattern than what this pathetic failure of a summer had to offer.
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Your tongue in cheek!
