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I'm considering getting an engagement ring that is less than what she (and I) would like, and upgrading it in the near future. I'm considering:
1) A small diamond (1/2 carat or so). Maybe adding another small one the next year, and then the year after make a 3-stone ring with both those diamonds and a 1 carat or so in the middle.
2) A moissonite / amora / other fake diamond of about 1 carat and replacing it with a real one of the same size in about a year.
3) A sapphire ring. She loves the color blue, and it happens to be her birthstone as well. I could then use the stone alongside a diamond in the future, either with another saphire beside it, or my birthstone.
Ladies, what would you think if your boyfriend proposed to you with one of these scenarios? I know it's more about what she thinks, but she's hard to read. She's outright said that it's the commitment and stability that matter the most to her, but she often feels differently than what she says. Not even her siblings or parents can figure her out most of the time (going down that road already got me in trouble in the past).
*Background as to why I'm considering this*
I love my girlfriend very much and want to spend the rest of my life with her. I know she feels the same way about me as well because she made that known in a very unsubtle way. I'd like to propose before Christmas. Now here's where the hard part (for me) comes in: we recently found out that she's pregnant , and we've also decided that the area we moved to in January is one that we'd like to stay in permanently. So we'd like to buy a house before the interest rates and housing prices increase much higher - that was the plan when we moved here in the first place - and also before the baby comes (I can't imagine the nightmare of moving with a newborn).
So that's 3 major expenses coming up in a very short time, not to mention Christmas, which involves over $1k of travel expenses on top of the gifts. She has no real income to speak of right now, so everything comes entirely out of my pocket. Additionally, I'm trying to get my credit score as high as I can so that I can get the best mortgage possible (it's around 750 right now). I could buy her the ring I want, but either the money would come out of the house down payment, or it would impact my credit rating.
I feel bad about skimping on anything. I have some reasonable savings, but don't think that I can go full-board on a $7000 engagement ring, plus a down-payment (and other associated costs) on a $280k house, plus pay for the birth of a child (and other associated costs) in a handful of months
I went form a .25 to 2.5 karat upgrade after 10 years of marriage. It it really not that big a deal. If you are marrying the right person they wont care about the size, but that you asked them to marry you. Also if you want to be the best husband ever drop a huger rock on her after 5 to 10 years of marriage. She will likely be even more touched by the gesture.
lol I don't know why people are still commenting on a thread that's so old and obviously time sensitive, but I ended up going with a smaller (1/2 carat ish), high-quality diamond with a lot of fire in a cathedral setting that makes it look a lot bigger. It's in a white gold ring that is adorned with alternating small blue sapphires and white diamonds. She ended up liking it and gets lots of positive comments, even from random clients, so everything ended up well despite costing under $3k.
Sure. I don't see why not. If it's within your budget. I upgraded a couple times during my first marriage, and have upgraded my set in my current marriage, and may upgrade again.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wsamon
lol I don't know why people are still commenting on a thread that's so old and obviously time sensitive, but I ended up going with a smaller (1/2 carat ish), high-quality diamond with a lot of fire in a cathedral setting that makes it look a lot bigger. It's in a white gold ring that is adorned with alternating small blue sapphires and white diamonds. She ended up liking it and gets lots of positive comments, even from random clients, so everything ended up well despite costing under $3k.
Probably because ppl love giving their opinion on how much money other ppl should or shouldn’t spend. It’s good common sense you went with a ring you can afford tho…especially since you had a baby on the way at the time & no house yet.
The trend to bigger & more expensive diamonds now is probably related to ppl marrying later than they used to & being more established in their careers AND 1 or both already owning a home by the time they get engaged. That can make a super big difference in how much money is spent on the engagement ring, wedding, honeymoon or any big purchases as a couple.
Have the kid in Canada, no cost.
Lots of young people make a mistake of buying a house right away like you plan to do. There's no rush. Enjoy your honeymoon phase until the baby comes. Buy the house after you know you can achieve it.
A gemstone like her birthstone is nice with a beveled gold band.
When my wife and I "got engaged" she had no money and no debt. I had no money and debt. We felt it would not be a good decision to go into debt for a "ring". We did have custom wedding rings made. So years later AI bought her an expensive, lovely "cocktail ring". It meant more to her then any engagement ring would have. The marriage lasted over 35 years before she passed.
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, and we've also decided that the area we moved to in January is one that we'd like to stay in permanently. So we'd like to buy a house before the interest rates and housing prices increase much higher - that was the plan when we moved here in the first place - and also before the baby comes (I can't imagine the nightmare of moving with a newborn).
It’s good common sense you went with a ring you can afford tho…especially since you had a baby on the way at the time & no house yet. 
