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Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki
Anonymous posters on the internet have shown more care for your well being than your friend.
Ita.....AND it's super sad the O.P. doesn't really see on her own who her "friend" is. Maybe she will finally get it tho.....because everybody else sees right through it.
Hello people,
Im stuck in a sucky situation. My best friend of 15 years is getting married in a month and she asked me to be her maid of honor back when she first got engaged (before covid) Of course i said yes even though ive never been to a wedding and im horrible at planning but she is my best friend so i said yes! Now that the situation is getting worse with covid i started asking her more questions and both her and her fiances family dont "believe" in the virus and dont wear masks and think its all a joke. Im super paranoid and try to protect myself as much as possible! Shes not allowing anyone to show up at her wedding with masks. She thinks theyre ugly and will ruin the videos/pictures. I dont feel comfortable going without a mask and i tried to explain that to her but its like talking to a wall and she thinks im acting stupid! I told her im still willing to help with the bridal shower but i will wear a mask for that and i told her i will show up to the wedding, get ready with her and walk down the aisle (also with a mask) but then leave because i dont feel comfortable being around that many people without a mask. She said no to me going to the wedding if i wont even stay the whole time and she also said if i dont show up to her wedding i dont need to be going to her bridal shower. She also told me whoever doesnt show up to her wedding (because my family all said no) she wont ever talk to them again and shes able to hold a grudge forever. Since then she hasnt talked to me and everytime i try to ask her to hang out she says no. I know shes pissed at me and im a people pleaser so this is very hard for me. Also i just had brain surgery to get a tumor removed 2 months ago. Im pretty much recovered but i cant risk getting the virus. And it hurts me that shes so mad because she didnt come and see me once after my surgery. She was in a group text with my family after my surgery so she knew what was happening while i was at the hospital but after i got back home she never even asked how im doing or came to see me and she only lives about 15 min away from me. I know shes super busy but i just think you can make a few hours time to see your best friend after such a major surgery. But im not the type of person to say anything or hold it against them because to me if someone doesnt want to do something i would never force them or even get mad because its their live. I even went with her to try on her dress about a month after my surgery and i still felt like **** and couldnt even move my head side to side yet, i was still on heavy painkillers too, but i knew it meant alot to her for me to go with. I just dont know what to do. I dont want this to ruin our friendship of 15 years
I see you're in Collin County, Texas. According to what I'm reading on your state site, your county is still required to mask when out. See the last link below, Executive Order GA-29. It lists all of the low risk counties.
Being in Texas, I can't see her having a wedding with more then 10 guests that don't live in the same household will even be allowed. See the state links I posted below.
While she thinks you're over-reacting, I don't think you are; I think she's under-reacting and is in denial. Let's face it, who wants their wedding ruined by COVID? The reality is a lot a couples have had to adjust their plans, even Tasha who posted above. She was having a huge New Years Eve wedding and reception.
I don't know what type of brain infection you had; my daughter had one too. It started with a rare, freak inner ear infection. Our ER did not diagnose her correctly so it spread to her brain. She went thru months of antibiotic therapy, some with IV. She's supposed to be seeing doctors that are close to 2 hours away to set up surgery. The last thing you need right now is to be exposed to COVID over your bridezilla "friend". While she's been your "friend" for 15 years, she surely has not been a friend during your illness. Honestly, you're lucky that she did not see you after surgery since she's not taking COVID serious.
I'm in South NJ. Our kids were scheduled to go back to school in November but last week they changed it to October 19th. My 7 year old grandson has immune issues as does my daughter and myself. We were given the choice for him to continue home learning or go back part time. We said we won't be sending him back yet. Yesterday I got 2 phone calls from the school system. One employee in an elementary school my grandson doesn't go to, tested positive. They said they've contact traced and disinfecting areas this person was in. An hour later I got another call but that an employee at the middle school tested positive. So thankful we were given the option of not sending him back yet! I won't be shocked if I get another call saying they put off reopening until November.
Can you imagine going to her bridal shower and/or wedding to be told that someone tested positive and you may have had contact with them? What if you do get COVID from going? I doubt this "friend" would feel guilty that she was the cause of it. If she's willing to give up this "friendship" over it then she wasn't a true friend. A true friend would understand that you're in a group of people that shouldn't be out.
Not excepted from this face-covering requirement is any person attending a protest or demonstration involving more than 10 people and who is not practicing safe social distancing of six feet from other people not in the same household
Texas government page - Current Orders, Protocols & Guidance - Outdoor Gathering Application - required for gatherings with more than ten people in attendance.
Executive Order GA-29 - The Texas Division of Emergency Management has promulgated the following criteria for a county to be exempt from the face-covering requirement of GA-29
Quote:
1. The county must have 20 or fewer new COVID-19 cases during the previous 14 day period. 2. The county judge of a county with 20 or fewer new COVID-19 cases during the previous 14 day period must submit an exemption form affirmatively opting out. 3. Counties approved for exemption from the GA-29 face-covering requirement will be listed below.
"I don't know what type of brain infection you had; my daughter had one too. It started with a rare, freak inner ear infection. Our ER did not diagnose her correctly so it spread to her brain. She went thru months of antibiotic therapy, some with IV. She's supposed to be seeing doctors that are close to 2 hours away to set up surgery. The last thing you need right now is to be exposed to COVID over your bridezilla "friend". While she's been your "friend" for 15 years, she surely has not been a friend during your illness. Honestly, you're lucky that she did not see you after surgery since she's not taking COVID serious."
Im so sorry to hear that about your daughter and i pray shes doing better! I had a brain tumor and it was a DNET so luckily its benign and very slow growing! I must have had it for at least 10 years or longer! I found out because i also started having the worst ear pain and no doctor could figure out what was going on!
I just wanted to say thank you for all the kind responses i got! It really means alot to me! My friend ended up having her wedding and i did send her a wedding gift and texted her the day of her wedding wishing her good luck and i typed out how sorry i was for not going but deleted that part because i should not be apologizing for keeping myself safe! She read it but never replied and i havent heard from her. I know alot of people might say i shouldnt have texted her but i wanted to be the bigger person and at least end it this way because knowing her ill never hear from her again but thats on her. Im still recovering from my surgery but im doing alot better and i actually started therapy to cope with everything thats happened. I think thats another thing that my friend never understood. Finding out i have a brain tumor/getting brain surgery wasnt just physically hard but mentally it took a big toll on me. Im also learning to stop people pleasing and letting things go that arent in my control! I still stand by my decision for not going even if nobody got sick because it really showed me her true colors!
Hey & thanks for the update! I was on your side in this ordeal, so I'm glad you're feeling a lot better & glad you deleted your apology. You had NOTHING to apologize for. Even though she didn't deserve a gift, you did it so what's done is done. Sorry you wasted your money there. And not to be harsh here, but it's people like you that enable these bad-charactered people to keep doing what they're doing. It's almost like you're rewarding her for treating you horrendously (<-- I'd say another word, but don't want an infraction) by still giving her that gift & she knows it, so once again, the narc(issist) gets a "gift". And look...as you saw once again, she didn't even take 2 seconds to reply & say "thank you", so she didn't appreciate it 1 bit. She just doesn't care at all.
Hey & thanks for the update! I was on your side in this ordeal, so I'm glad you're feeling a lot better & glad you deleted your apology. You had NOTHING to apologize for. Even though she didn't deserve a gift, you did it so what's done is done. Sorry you wasted your money there. And not to be harsh here, but it's people like you that enable these bad-charactered people to keep doing what they're doing. It's almost like you're rewarding her for treating you horrendously (<-- I'd say another word, but don't want an infraction) by still giving her that gift & she knows it, so once again, the narc(issist) gets a "gift". And look...as you saw once again, she didn't even take 2 seconds to reply & say "thank you", so she didn't appreciate it 1 bit. She just doesn't care at all.
Well, take care of yourself.
Agree that even though the OP tried to be the bigger person, it enabled more bad behavior towards the OP from the bride. It just added to the brides advantage of treating people like cr@p. In her eyes, it was her wedding, it was bad enough that COVID happened to try to kill her big day.
She's not the only one. I'm seeing all of these "poor me and my kids" due to COVID. Kid birthday parties have gotten out of hand. They used to be a special dinner cooked by mom, followed by cake. It may have happened on a Sunday so relatives could attend. Maybe a back yard Barbecue with a candy pinata as the special treat. These days kids have lavish parties, each parent trying to out do the last that cost a thousand dollars.
I'm seeing posts in the FB group for my development and one for my town where parents are asking people to do a drive by at such and such time where everyone parks on what ever street then does a convoy past their house so their little King or Queen won't be denied their time to shine and be in the spot light. Would it really kill them to try to enjoy a low key family birthday and not have half of the town drive by?
Quote:
Originally Posted by sailormoon850
"I don't know what type of brain infection you had; my daughter had one too. It started with a rare, freak inner ear infection. Our ER did not diagnose her correctly so it spread to her brain. She went thru months of antibiotic therapy, some with IV. She's supposed to be seeing doctors that are close to 2 hours away to set up surgery. The last thing you need right now is to be exposed to COVID over your bridezilla "friend". While she's been your "friend" for 15 years, she surely has not been a friend during your illness. Honestly, you're lucky that she did not see you after surgery since she's not taking COVID serious."
Im so sorry to hear that about your daughter and i pray shes doing better! I had a brain tumor and it was a DNET so luckily its benign and very slow growing! I must have had it for at least 10 years or longer! I found out because i also started having the worst ear pain and no doctor could figure out what was going on!
It was a slow process for my daughter. The infection just didn't want to go away.
From what I'm seeing on google, a DNET usually begins in children and teenagers who are 20 years old or younger, so it probably started when you were a teen. Where the doctors able to get your whole tumor out? Thankfully you're in Texas where there's really good medical care for cancer and tumors. I used to keep up on brain cancers.
In 2006, my FIL passed from a very rare brain cancer 6 weeks after my dad passed from chemical caused Leukemia. FIL didn't know he had cancer until a few weeks before he died. It was in the meninges, membranous coverings of the brain and spinal cord. He was like the 21st person to have this cancer, his diagnosis from Hopkins came the day after he passed. His local center couldn't identify the cancer so it was sent to John Hopkins. He was complaining of headaches but his GP kept blowing him off. The GP stopped practicing due to it. I also had a very good internet friend who passed from brain cancer. It was her 3rd time. She knew it came back, I kept telling her to go get scanned but she just couldn't do it. By the time she did, it was too late.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sailormoon850
I just wanted to say thank you for all the kind responses i got! It really means alot to me! My friend ended up having her wedding and i did send her a wedding gift and texted her the day of her wedding wishing her good luck and i typed out how sorry i was for not going but deleted that part because i should not be apologizing for keeping myself safe! She read it but never replied and i havent heard from her. I know alot of people might say i shouldnt have texted her but i wanted to be the bigger person and at least end it this way because knowing her ill never hear from her again but thats on her. Im still recovering from my surgery but im doing alot better and i actually started therapy to cope with everything thats happened. I think thats another thing that my friend never understood. Finding out i have a brain tumor/getting brain surgery wasnt just physically hard but mentally it took a big toll on me. Im also learning to stop people pleasing and letting things go that arent in my control! I still stand by my decision for not going even if nobody got sick because it really showed me her true colors!
You're right, you had nothing to apologize for. You're the one that was in the right. She should not have been having a wedding with more then a few people. Do you know how many people went?
She's shown you that she's not a friend with her actions with your brain mass.
I posted an article last week as a new thread, the link is below. Someone had a wedding in Massachusetts with about 65 people. Of course someone that attended either had COVID or was asymptomatic. In the end, 175 cases were directly linked to this wedding, 7 people died that did not even attend the wedding! Maybe your friend's wedding will make the news too due to people catching it from someone that attended her wedding. I bet her family will still be in denial.
I'm glad you were able to find City-Data to get support. I hope you decide to stick around. There are tons of sections, state ones as well as things like health, genealogy, TV shows, music and various other topics. You may end up finding one or a few that you like.
Officials in Maine revealed on Tuesday that more than 175 COVID-19 cases — seven of them fatal — have been linked to an Aug. 7 wedding in Millinocket, highlighting the danger of gathering indoors amid a deadly pandemic.
More than 65 people reportedly attended the wedding reception at the Big Moose Inn in Penobscot County. The event broke the Maine Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s limit for indoor gatherings, which had been capped at 50. Since then, outbreaks of the virus linked to the event have appeared at a local county jail — where one of the wedding guests works — as well as at a nursing home. None of the seven who died attended the ceremony.
But with coronavirus cases continuing to increase in 11 states, experts say it’s vital to pay attention to how the gathering turned deadly. Here’s what you need to know.
...Maine CDC has not shared details on how many individuals may have had COVID-19 at the wedding... chance that the outbreak may have been triggered by a single individual carrying the virus. If so, the person may be considered a superspreader — an individual who sheds higher levels of the virus, often infecting many more people as a result.
One of the more surprising aspects of the Maine wedding outbreak has been that it occurred in a state with a low case count, which could have led the bride and groom to presume that it was safe.
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Hello people,
Im stuck in a sucky situation. My best friend of 15 years is getting married in a month and she asked me to be her maid of honor back when she first got engaged (before covid) Of course i said yes even though ive never been to a wedding and im horrible at planning but she is my best friend so i said yes! Now that the situation is getting worse with covid i started asking her more questions and both her and her fiances family dont "believe" in the virus and dont wear masks and think its all a joke. Im super paranoid and try to protect myself as much as possible! Shes not allowing anyone to show up at her wedding with masks. She thinks theyre ugly and will ruin the videos/pictures. I dont feel comfortable going without a mask and i tried to explain that to her but its like talking to a wall and she thinks im acting stupid! I told her im still willing to help with the bridal shower but i will wear a mask for that and i told her i will show up to the wedding, get ready with her and walk down the aisle (also with a mask) but then leave because i dont feel comfortable being around that many people without a mask. She said no to me going to the wedding if i wont even stay the whole time and she also said if i dont show up to her wedding i dont need to be going to her bridal shower. She also told me whoever doesnt show up to her wedding (because my family all said no) she wont ever talk to them again and shes able to hold a grudge forever. Since then she hasnt talked to me and everytime i try to ask her to hang out she says no. I know shes pissed at me and im a people pleaser so this is very hard for me. Also i just had brain surgery to get a tumor removed 2 months ago. Im pretty much recovered but i cant risk getting the virus. And it hurts me that shes so mad because she didnt come and see me once after my surgery. She was in a group text with my family after my surgery so she knew what was happening while i was at the hospital but after i got back home she never even asked how im doing or came to see me and she only lives about 15 min away from me. I know shes super busy but i just think you can make a few hours time to see your best friend after such a major surgery. But im not the type of person to say anything or hold it against them because to me if someone doesnt want to do something i would never force them or even get mad because its their live. I even went with her to try on her dress about a month after my surgery and i still felt like **** and couldnt even move my head side to side yet, i was still on heavy painkillers too, but i knew it meant alot to her for me to go with. I just dont know what to do. I dont want this to ruin our friendship of 15 years :(
Maya Angelou - "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
"It was a slow process for my daughter. The infection just didn't want to go away.
From what I'm seeing on google, a DNET usually begins in children and teenagers who are 20 years old or younger, so it probably started when you were a teen. Where the doctors able to get your whole tumor out? Thankfully you're in Texas where there's really good medical care for cancer and tumors. I used to keep up on brain cancers.
In 2006, my FIL passed from a very rare brain cancer 6 weeks after my dad passed from chemical caused Leukemia. FIL didn't know he had cancer until a few weeks before he died. It was in the meninges, membranous coverings of the brain and spinal cord. He was like the 21st person to have this cancer, his diagnosis from Hopkins came the day after he passed. His local center couldn't identify the cancer so it was sent to John Hopkins. He was complaining of headaches but his GP kept blowing him off. The GP stopped practicing due to it. I also had a very good internet friend who passed from brain cancer. It was her 3rd time. She knew it came back, I kept telling her to go get scanned but she just couldn't do it. By the time she did, it was too late."
Im so sorry. Thats heartbreaking and its not easy seeing someone you love go through that. Much love and prayers to you <3
And yes my surgeon believes it started growing around 10+ years ago! Never really had symptoms until i started ear pain last year and after a month of it not going away i finally did an MRI and they found it. The craziest part is that my neurosurgeon told me my tumor has nothing to do with my ear and after that my ear pain went away and never came back! I really believe it was some kind of sign or someone looking out for me. Sadly my doctor wasnt able to remove all of it so it will grow back but luckily its a very slow growing tumor. I have my 6 month check up in december to see if it grew at all and if theres not much change i can start doing yearly MRI's
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Maybe she will finally get it tho.....because everybody else sees right through it.
