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Oh my gosh! Weddings! I've been to a zillion of them, and each one is worse than the last.
The one that takes the cake is my husband's boss's daughter's (got that?) wedding. I walked into the ladies room at the hotel where the reception was being held, and the bride was in there with her mother and two of her bridesmaids. They were trying to help the bride hook her train up on her dress so it wouldn't drag on the floor. But they were having problems, so I offered my help. I had never met the bride or her mother, and the bride looked at me snottily and asked in a condescening voice: "Not unless you're one of my wedding guests." I hesitated for a moment (remember, this was my husband's boss's daughter), and said: "Well I was, but not anymore." I then turned around, walked out of the ladies room, found my husband, grabbed him by the arm, stopped at the table where the wedding gifts were placed, grabbed ours, and left.
There was no way I was going to give that snippy little bride, who had no clue who I was and no manners whatsoever, a wedding gift...even if she WAS the daughter of my husband's boss.
Oh my gosh! Weddings! I've been to a zillion of them, and each one is worse than the last.
The one that takes the cake is my husband's boss's daughter's (got that?) wedding. I walked into the ladies room at the hotel where the reception was being held, and the bride was in there with her mother and two of her bridesmaids. They were trying to help the bride hook her train up on her dress so it wouldn't drag on the floor. But they were having problems, so I offered my help. I had never met the bride or her mother, and the bride looked at me snottily and asked in a condescening voice: "Not unless you're one of my wedding guests." I hesitated for a moment (remember, this was my husband's boss's daughter), and said: "Well I was, but not anymore." I then turned around, walked out of the ladies room, found my husband, grabbed him by the arm, stopped at the table where the wedding gifts were placed, grabbed ours, and left.
There was no way I was going to give that snippy little bride, who had no clue who I was and no manners whatsoever, a wedding gift...even if she WAS the daughter of my husband's boss.
No, we never heard a word about it. The bride had no idea who I was.
This was one of those expensive, lavish weddings whereby the parents invite everybody they know, and most of them have never met the bride or groom. It's all just to show off.
1. My DIL told me to wear any color of dress I wanted. I thought I should dress in something appropriate within the color scheme of the wedding. Now I wonder what would have happened had I worn a nice bright orange outfit myself?
2. DIL & Family very rich. Us, not so much. DIL made me feel everything I asked about, every suggestion, thought or idea I had was tacky and beneath her & her family. One idea I had was met with extreme derision from dear DIL. Two weeks later her mother mentioned the same thing, and it was the best idea DIL had ever heard. I bit my tongue.
3. We told them we'd help pay for a small wedding. We could give $XXXX, no more. Her family put on a HUGE event, then kept acting put out because they were spending a bucket load of bucks. (And how again, is that our fault?)
4. DIL never told us anything, then would get livid when we'd ask about something. It was always, "No, we're not going to do that!" I would explain that I didn't know before that they weren't going to do that, and it would have been nice to have been told. She would shake her head and insist that she'd told us several times before. Sure, obviously, despite having been told the answer "several times," I readily asked yet again so that I could become, yet again, the object of her scorn. Does that make sense to anyone?
4. Nope, son was no help. It was the bride's wedding and his part (like us) was simply to go along to get along. Sometimes I would unhelpfully point out that Bridezilla wouldn't be having a wedding without the groom, but his pained expression made me beat a hasty retreat. I bit my tongue.
My point is that there are two sides to every story. Some stories might be justified in their complaints, other story tellers may be leaving out their own unfortunate part in the story. I know I made the bride upset - maybe some things were valid, maybe some were a miscommunication, who knows? The only thing I care about is that my son is in love with this woman and I want them to have a long and happy marriage. That's certainly more important than my feelings or thoughts. It's my job to get along with my new daughter and we will get there.
I'm sorry your experience wasn't the best but I haven't been through it yet. My son is getting married in the fall. Although she seems sweet I have no idea what she will be like.
I have a hard time biting my tongue and usually say what's on my mind so we might have a problem. I will hope for the best and I agree.........as long as they're happy and in love that's all that matters
Maybe your DIL should make it "her" job to get along with you.
Oh, please. Can we get over the "bride is the center of the universe, it's her special day" nonsense? It's a wedding, not a coronation. There are two people getting married, if I recall correctly -- not just a bride. To all brides out there making everyone around you miserable as you strive for your fairytale wedding where you are the unrelenting center of attention: please get over yourself. Thank you.
To Bella 52: Everyone has a different experience, let's hope that yours is a good positive one. Also, be aware that wedding issues can stress even the most laid back individual. I've chalked some of this up to that, but I'm still going to be very wary and careful from here on in. Did they treat us this like this because of wedding stress or because, underneath the careful demeanor, do they really think we're just not up to their standards? Time will tell.
Last edited by chicagurl; 03-18-2009 at 10:14 PM..
Reason: Forgot to note to whom I was addressing reply to
To Bella 52: Everyone has a different experience, let's hope that yours is a good positive one. Also, be aware that wedding issues can stress even the most laid back individual. I've chalked some of this up to that, but I'm still going to be very wary and careful from here on in. Did they treat us this like this because of wedding stress or because, underneath the careful demeanor, do they really think we're just not up to their standards? Time will tell.
I'm hoping so. I'm 3,000 miles away so maybe that will help too
You know, I am really beginning to be thankful I have only one son!
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I've been to a zillion of them, and each one is worse than the last.
New MIL re: Wedding
