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thebunny, good luck to you, I don't envy your position. If there really is a problem, just make sure he understands that any opinions or ideas people give him he should respect, acknowledge them, and thank them, even if he thinks they're stupid ideas or whatever LOL.
That's what I am going with. Don't interrupt...preface ideas with "What do you think?" and also with "I am guessing you know this" and see what happens....
I really think you need to know the context AND the personalities/history of the people making the complaint.
I have a couple of co-workers who *might* consider me a bit condescending at times. And I can guess exactly why they might think this. Its because despite the fact they've both been working in their jobs for 2+ years, they never seem to learn basic skills and tasks that other people manage to pick up within a few months. So over and over again, I have to give these two instructions and guidance. It gets very tiring. Since I am not their boss, but I am in a position where I have to assign them tasks, I can't really tell them that I am completely fed up with their laziness and incompetence.
So, when they send me yet another email asking how to do something, when I have repeatedly taught them how to do it, they might find some annoyance in my tone of voice and a lack of friendliness. And they may feel that I am condescending to them.
I hate to say it, but this "conversation" could actually make things worse. You can't give any specific feedback and the employee may just end up upset that people are complaining and he has no idea what he needs to fix.
Your boss doesn't sound like he is very good at his job.
Sometimes he isn't. I think I am just going to ask this employee how he is settling in. Maybe with any luck something will be said that I can use to go to this subject.
Who knows.
I think my boss is trying to spare the new guy but at the same time handle it in case it is a problem.
Can you at least get specific examples of this person's condescending behaviour? What they have actually said to people that has offended them this much? Without anything concrete to go on I don't know how you can approach this properly. To sit someone down and say, "We need to talk about how you can come across less condescending to your co-workers," and then tell the person you have no hard facts or examples to share with them really undermines your case.
I have been given the task in my office to talk to the new guy and let him know that a couple co-workers find him condescending. I am not sure how many or if the "couple" is really 2 or isolated incidents with the same person...
There was also a throw in about him being found to be somewhat cynical...but I can figure out how to coach that easily enough...keep the dry comments to himself. If he stops the "cynical" comments, will this help with the perception of condescending attitude?
We have a pretty big office, but about 20 of us are tucked in the area in the back where it gets noisy. Apparently this person comes across as condescending in conversations with coworkers in this area. I was not given any feedback that any interactions with him in other areas are an issue, just in our small group. I am wondering if maybe he is trying to compensate for the issue by being louder than he needs to be? I am sort of grasping at straws as while I work with him daily, I haven't noticed the issue yet I am supposed to coach him.
I want to be effective in the coaching as at this point it is not going to have any formal documentation with it...it really was more of the boss going through, seeing where he thinks things may be able to be improved, and acting on it.
I guess my questions are as follows...
When someone is being "condescending" what are they doing? How are they speaking? Are they using a lot of words? Explaining more or less than they should be?
Any thoughts would be great as I know what I think is condescending, and this person is not doing any of the things I see as condescending, at least not that I have noticed.
Thanks in advance....
You can't "teach" or "coach" someone not to be a certain way. He will simply have learn on his own.
Here is a reference link Condescending | What is the Definition of Condescending? | Dictionary.com. (sort of condescending for me to post this..lol...not intending it)
What a challenge. Are you the HR?? How did you get picked? I find folks who are condescending to be more attitudinal than anything else. Hard to teach someone about their attitude. I would want to talk to those that have complained and get some real examples of what he said that they consider condescending. Then you'll have an example for him. Or, you will identify the real issue...as others have said...It could be their own perception.
Last edited by JanND; 11-14-2012 at 09:37 AM..
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So you are going on hear say. I would think that you would need to speak to the complaining employees to hear directly from the horses mouth exactly what was said. How can you effectively deal with this with just vague statements? What reason is your boss giving you for not telling you who the complaining employees are?
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So you are going on hear say. I would think that you would need to speak to the complaining employees to hear directly from the horses mouth exactly what was said. How can you effectively deal with this with just vague statements? What reason is your boss giving you for not telling you who the complaining employees are?
