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It's ironic to you because you don't have a family. Having a family is like having a second job. When you go home to your family, it's not all fun and games. It's not like you leaving work and having a beer with your friends and then crashing on your bed. There are a lot of responsibilities and duties that need to be completed with regard to families. If you have younger children, it's feeding them, changing them, bathing them and then putting them to sleep. With older kids, it's spending time with them, reviewing their homework, and teaching them. Having a family is work. Going to a recital is work..There are fun aspects to it but it's still work. Getting your kids ready, driving them to the assembly hall, carrying any of their items etc. is work. Anyone who has kids knows that. You really think we wouldn't like to have some beer and hang out with our buddies watchng a band play? You gotta be kidding me, that's so much easier. You really equate that to attending a music recital? That's why people are more understanding of those with families because if they have a family, they understand what you are going through. When you have a family, you will remember this thread and this response and recall how naive you were back then. Don't worry I was in your position at one point and felt the same way you did. For a lot of people, it's easier to remain at the job and work rather than go home and take care of the kids. If you ask most people, they will tell you it's easier to remain at work for more hours than go home and fulfill family obligations.
Yes, unless you have kids, you have no responsibilities, can go out and drink every night with your buddies, bang a new chick/dude every night, and just live the wild life without a care in the world...of course you can remain at work longer and be expected to pick up the slack...you are far less saintly/worthy of a break, or consideration than parents. Totally. No single person has ever had to care for their siblings, elderly parents, other family members, work 2 jobs to pay bills (and thus not be available to randomly change their schedule at the whims of parents) or anything like that. And everyone knows that family = spouse and kids, not your parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, or cousins, that you may want to spend time with but obviously parents get priority since their kids are more important than your non existent family. Wow, where have I been?
And before you tell me that wanting to spend time with your family/work an additional job/see your friends' band play (like someone upthread mentioned) is just a choice, having children is also just a choice. For some reason, that choice is considered more worthy and selfless and better than any other personal choice you might make in your life, but for the life of me I can't figure out why.
Single people have it much easier. Their schedule is more flexible and they can advance easier than someone with a family who has obligations that limit them. For example, a single person can move to another city for a promotion while a married person with kids will have limitations such as a spouse not wanting to move or not want to move children out of a school. Single people can remain at work longer because they don't have family obligations at home Single people can also partake in more company social events that married people can't do. They can attend Happy Hour, late dinners, and mixers.
Married people are discriminated against far more than single people in my opinion
No.
Single people don't have as many obligations to do and can work long doesn't mean they SHOULD work longer.
Having a family is your own business. If it gets in the way of being a good employer, maybe it is not the right job for you. Stop expecting childless people to cover your ass just because they have the flexibility to. If they support you, what can you do to support them in return? You can't honestly think because I have children, those single people automatically have the responsibility to help me out when I have a conflict. No, they don't.
Married people like you feel "discriminated against" only because you think you should get preferential treatment just because you have a couple of children. Having kids should not be a factor to even consider in the work place.
Speaking as a single, childless woman....I still think mothers have it slightly worse, though I resent being expected to take up the slack, or people assuming that my time is less valuable because I don't have children.
Yes! I've lost track of all the overtime I had to put in to do the work of coworkers who left early for their kids. One woman 'had' to leave at 4:30 everyday and her boss - the department head - would give me work at 4:40 every night. Then I was reprimanded for staying late every night to finish my own work.
I think you'd be surprised. If your dog was puking blood, I betcha' your boss would let you leave.
I used to be childless and often thought the same thing. I used to tease the parents I worked with "Man, I can wait to have a kid so I can stay home on snow days, and stay home when my kid is sick." Always joking, never serious. Because: it's so not a big deal. Why does this really bother you? You ARE single. Your schedule IS more flexible.
Raising kids is a lot of work. Cut parents some slack.
I am so sorry you don't have to leave your job early and make sure someone picks up your slack so you can go home and get puked on by your little kid. You poor guy. or waste all your vacation time on snifflers and snow days while your single friends jet off to Mexico every year.
You don't have kids. You can stay a few minutes late to help out. Don't be a jerk. Suck it up. Be a team player. It is appreciated by those that do have kids.
It's not all rainbows and daisies.
hehehehe
Really? Why would you think that? What if I take care of sick parents or a sibling? Is that less important or honorable than taking care of a sick kid? What if I have health problems of my own What about people in college? Or who do volunteer work? How is any of that less important?
If a person can't work and take care of their children at the same time, they have to make a choice to do one or the other and stop expecting other people "who have more flexible schedules" to pick up their slack.
Yes! I've lost track of all the overtime I had to put in to do the work of coworkers who left early for their kids. One woman 'had' to leave at 4:30 everyday and her boss - the department head - would give me work at 4:40 every night. Then I was reprimanded for staying late every night to finish my own work.
This is fine as long as a portion of her salary goes to your paycheck to represent the workload. Otherwise, it is just bull**** work environment and you should consider jumping ship or filing a complaint.
Working shorter hours due to family reason is OK, but you can't get the same amount of money. Many parents don't seem to realize that. When your own situation causes increased workload for others, they need to pay for that as compensation, or cover for them when needed.
People can't work for you for free, not just because they are more flexible. It is like a rich person doesn't have to give you free money just because you need it.
Last edited by botticelli; 02-14-2013 at 08:29 AM..
and speaking as a parent, if someone at my office had to cover for me once in awhile, I would absolutely say to that person:
"Hey, man. Thanks for covering for me yesterday. ANYTIME you need to scoot early for any reason, you let me know. I will pay you back".
That's just common courtesy. I think SOME of you complaining about this: just work with a****les. They were that before they had kids, and still are.
Moral: Don't get mad at all us parents because you work with an a******le.
I have to say, none of the men I work with who are parents ever come in late or leave early. I never see them taking time off last minute or unexpectedly.
and speaking as a parent, if someone at my office had to cover for me once in awhile, I would absolutely say to that person:
"Hey, man. Thanks for covering for me yesterday. ANYTIME you need to scoot early for any reason, you let me know. I will pay you back".
That's just common courtesy. I think SOME of you complaining about this: just work with a****les. They were that before they had kids, and still are.
Moral: Don't get mad at all us parents because you work with an a******le.
I have had cool parents who returned courtesies, and a*hole ones. I've had a* childfree people who wouldn't tell you the time of day if you asked. It's all about workplace culture.
Workplace culture is something you look at when they call you for an interview. You try to glimpse it from the website, from news articles about the company, and the job advert. These are things you can pick up on before you take the job. Read between the lines if you have to.
I have to say, none of the men I work with who are parents ever come in late or leave early. I never see them taking time off last minute or unexpectedly.
They would be if they were single fathers or widowers with kids. It happens. I've seen it at places where I've worked. As long as people are courteous and don't have the attitude of self entitlement because "I'm a parent" then I am cool with it.
Any time anybody around me gets that self entitlement attitude and feels I "owe them" something, then I am done with that person. Don't care who they are; worker or boss. I start looking for new job then. I don't need the drama of an inflated ego.
I guess I have no concept. My mother worked 12 hour night shifts, slept during the day and unplugged the phones in the house. I remember only ever once coming home early and that was only because a neighbor came and got me from school-she was the emergency contact not my parents. Other than that I pretty much had perfect attendance. Went to day care, preschool, kindergarten, elementary, middle and high and cant remember ever staying home with my parents for a day. Even if it snowed horrendously my mother was essential personnel and they would send vehicles out to pick her up and I would go to a babysitter.
Guess I cant grasp how people dont have 2/3/4 backup plans in place.
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If your dog was puking blood, I betcha' your boss would let you leave.
