Is it a good idea to become close friends with coworkers?

[North Beach Person]

It depends.

If you all are at the same level it doesn't hurt to be friends, usually. Sometimes if things get more "personal" it can become awkward when it ends.

Things change when someone is promoted, you can't mix well with the people you socialize with because you're now they're supervisor. The context changes.

Having said that, I've worked for Principals who were offended if you didn't attend their off work parties and such. I could deal with the heat from that because I'd been a supervisor in industry and understood the separation which was necessary. Had to explain that to one.

I don't know about now, but when I was in the Navy on base housing was segregated by rank, Ensigns and LTJGs lived together, LTs and LTCDRs lived in the same neighborhood, etc.

Dorian, your "plan" for job security is flawed. Your bosses know you're a suck up and are laughing at you. Do they make you pick up the tab for drinks?

[qtbrye]

I'm in the mindset of being very careful with getting too friendly with co-workers for all the reasons that's been stated. That said, I'm just as guarded outside of work as well. But I do have two people--one current and one former co-worker--that I consider to be friends (i.e. meeting up for lunch to catch up on real life stuff, attending each other's kids birthday parties, etc.) It helps to have at least one person that I can trust to talk to and get through the mentally tough days.

I'm a guy, though, and introverted so I'm different. From what I've seen my other co-workers are all besties with one another. Maybe it's just the current office culture, which I'm obviously not in tune with.

[stanley-88888888]

this is a silly thread. one meets someone that has the same interests as them and is a nice kind fair person.

then they find out they have the same employer so they decide not to be friends anymore ?

[Marie24]

I am civil and friendly to coworkers. I absolutely refuse to friend them on Facebook. I will connect with them on LinkedIn, as that's a professional site. I rarely do things with coworkers outside of work. Maybe two or three times in the nine years I've worked at the current company (aside from company sponsored parties and outings). I also happen to have almost no common interests with coworkers.

They tell me they respect me for having the cajones to not be friends on FB with current or former coworkers. There have been major issues with Facebook at my company, concerning people who used to work there in connection with current workers (sensitive business information leaked and that sort of thing). People ended up getting fired over it. Keeping my nose totally clean of FB and coworkers has saved me trouble more than once.

I've worked with a number of people over the years who could not keep work and their personal life separate. Tales of drunk drama over the weekend spilled over into the office on Monday. It's been almost incestuous sometimes.