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How the hell did I create hostility??? It was an off the cuff comment. Maybe she had a lot on her mind, maybe she was stressed or just trying to balance things out - I don't know. Leering? What leering? When you're speaking with someone, do you not make eye contact? For the record, I was averting my eyes while she maintained steady eye contact. Jesus, people. If I was wrong, then fine, my bad! I'll apologize tomorrow.
Please quit pretending you don't know what you are doing. Your many threads here show that you deliberately put people in awkward positions, as if you think that puts you above them on your little "internal totem pole".
Acting professionally and not harassing senior management is not "shoveling crap". Nor is refraining from making wildly inappropriate accusations "passive".
Seriously dude. Your post history suggests some issues relating to women. Might want to get that checked out.
I mess with my hair when I am thinking about something that perplexes me, or has to be worked out. My husband jokes with me that when my hair is all crazy, it must have been a REALLY hard problem to solve.
Mods, if this does not belong, please move. But it's about flirting.
I'm at work today and was discussing something (work- related) with supervisor.
So as we're wrapping up our discussion, she's sitting behind her desk, playing with her hair - just lightly tugging at the strands. We concluded our talk, I turn to leave her office, and impulsively - I don't know what the hell possessed me to say this - I look at her and say, "Oh, incidentally...didn't you study Psychology in college?" She said yes. So I say, "Not to take this the wrong way, but the tugging at your hair when you're speaking with someone...that's a flirtatious gesture." She looked at me levelly without a word; I said to her, "I studied Psych and the findings of Freud as well as body language!" Think I may have floored her, but meant no harm.
Don't be too sure about that. She filed it away in her head and likely now her awareness of you making a pattern of inappropriate remarks will be heightened.
Pulling or playing with ones hair has nothing to do with flirting or attraction. If anything it is a sign the person is uncomfortable around you.
Try again. Tugging at, or playing with one's hair is a proven sign of flirtation. Have you ever studied body language?
I tug and twirl my hair all the time, have since I was kid. I do it when I'm nervous or bored, could be sitting on a plane or waiting to see the dentist.
Or annoyed which I am doing right now because no body likes a self appointed know it all from a class they took years ago.
OP, I would apologize to her as soon as you can and let her know what you said was out of line.
You expressed you took body language class, in fact, you jump into conclusion too quickly that your temperament got a hold of you and undesired words came out. Most replies on this thread agreed that you were wrong. That said something.
Food for thought also, being noisy and criticizing people instantly are actions that would lead you to no good result.
Just anecdotally speaking I've seen articles on places like menshealth.com and a couple of other male oriented websites and that is one of the things I remember them saying that a woman may be flirting with if..... then they list off a few things and I always seem to remember playing with their hair as one of the things listed....
Operative words = "may be." OP, just because some sources say hair-twirling may be flirtatious, that's not always the case. I worked for many years with a female attorney who was a very intense person and who constantly twirled her hair whenever she was sitting for any length of time, such as in the library or during a conference or meeting. It was just a nervous habit; an outlet for her stress. I met with her many times in her office and it was a very rare occasion when she did not twirl her hair.
OP, you were way out of line to say what you did to her. Even if it were true, your statement to her was still inappropriate.
.
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