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How the hell did I create hostility??? It was an off the cuff comment. Maybe she had a lot on her mind, maybe she was stressed or just trying to balance things out - I don't know. Leering? What leering? When you're speaking with someone, do you not make eye contact? For the record, I was averting my eyes while she maintained steady eye contact. Jesus, people. If I was wrong, then fine, my bad! I'll apologize tomorrow.
Your bad? UGH, stupid expression. The first comment was rude, the second obnoxiously rude (and basing it on Fraud?) You need to get back to college classes on top of learning how to shut your mouth and "my bad" should have been, I will shut up from now on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ItsRick24
I'm beginning to think maybe it's time to retire! 26 years of shoveling crap is killing my mouth filter. I used to be a passive guy.
Holy moly! I thought you were more like 20 years old!
If you've studied psychology, you would know that tugging of hair is a sign of stress. Hair flipping or twirling can be signs of flirting, but also self-soothing. Nothing in psychology is written in stone.
Your bad? UGH, stupid expression. The first comment was rude, the second obnoxiously rude (and basing it on Fraud?) You need to get back to college classes on top of learning how to shut your mouth and "my bad" should have been, I will shut up from now on.
Holy moly! I thought you were more like 20 years old!
Talk about the proverbial Freudian slip! Or is it Fraudian slip? Whoeeee....she's probably on her third dry martini by now!
OP....you're in over your head already. Just go for the deep water. Ask her out. Not some BS "we should get together sometime, or would you like to come over and watch movies"...but a real invitation.
"I really liked your forwardness during our conversation the other day; how about dinner at The Four Seasons this Saturday?"
If your assessment is correct, you are golden. If you are wrong, you are looking for work anyhow, so one more nail in the coffin...or Freudian slip....isn't going to hurt (but perhaps it will help) you.
Good luck. Let us know how it turns out.
PS.....if you are going for it, be a MAN. Don't be a wimp who breaks the ice the way you did and then get all meek on her.
Mods, if this does not belong, please move. But it's about flirting.
I'm at work today and was discussing something (work- related) with supervisor.
So as we're wrapping up our discussion, she's sitting behind her desk, playing with her hair - just lightly tugging at the strands. We concluded our talk, I turn to leave her office, and impulsively - I don't know what the hell possessed me to say this - I look at her and say, "Oh, incidentally...didn't you study Psychology in college?" She said yes. So I say, "Not to take this the wrong way, but the tugging at your hair when you're speaking with someone...that's a flirtatious gesture." She looked at me levelly without a word; I said to her, "I studied Psych and the findings of Freud as well as body language!" Think I may have floored her, but meant no harm.
Was I wrong?
I'd say you went beyond good taste. Not a big faux pas, but one that might get you held back from something big...
Terrible. Even if it was the case, some things are better left unsaid. Reminds me of the horrifying 1,600 word rant an investment banker sent to a young woman who was not interested in a second date. Here is part of it:
Quote:
Things that happened during our date include, but are not limited to, the following:
-You played with your hair a lot. A woman playing with her hair is a common sign of flirtation. You can even do a google search on it. When a woman plays with her hair, she is preening. I've never had a date where a woman played with her hair as much as you did. In addition, it didn't look like you were playing with your hair out of nervousness.
-We had lots of eye contact during our date. On a per-minute basis, I've never had as much eye contact during a date as I did with you.
-You said, "It was nice to meet you." at the end of our date. A woman could say this statement as a way to show that she isn't interested in seeing a man again or she could mean what she said--that it was nice to meet you. The statement, by itself, is inconclusive.
-We had a nice conversation over dinner. I don't think I'm being delusional in saying this statement.
In my opinion, leading someone on (i.e., giving mixed signals) is impolite and immature. It’s bad to do that.
Normally, I would not be asking for information if a woman and I don't go out again after a first date. However, in our case, I'm curious because I think our date went well and that there is a lot of potential for a serious relationship. Of course, it's difficult to predict what would happen, but I think there is a lot of potential for a serious relationship developing between us one day (or least there was before your non-response to my voicemail and text messages).
Definitely inappropriate, but also bizarre. Many of us impulsively say weird things once in a while. But you've got to be careful and that one potentially crossed the lines. Sounds like she took it in stride, but she likely won't forget it.
Incidentally, I know I play with my hair when I'm stressed or uncomfortable in the social situation. I'm aware some people seem to think it might be flirtatious. But flirtatious hair playing and uncomfortable hair fiddling are two different things.
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