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Wowza, way to turn a huge positive into a negative & yes, you are taking it very personally & defensively. Like others have said, it was a huge positive. She was telling you mgmt is noticing your work, they are watching you, are looking to probably promote you in the future & she was giving you a heads up that good things are coming your way & now is the time to start dressing for the job you want, instead of the job you have. She basically said that outright to you!
Obviously she didn't know that you hate the job/culture & didn't want to move up. She assumed that like most workers, you would want a promotion & she was helping you/mentoring you to groom you for what you needed to do to get it.
I don't think the problem was the jeggings at all, they can be dressed up via layering, with boots, etc. Working in IT for much of my life, jeggings/yoga pants would have been just fine in any of my offices, but not fine at a client site. It doesn't matter what she was wearing, she'd already earned her promotion. She didn't say you were dressing inappropriately, just to step it up, if you want to move up.
Obviously, if you don't care about advancing, which you've said, just don't follow her advice. Of course, with a promo usually comes mo' money & you seem to want mo' money, so maybe you should play along. It's up to you of course, but it was a positive & she was trying to groom you for advancement.
Here's some ways jeggings can be dressed up for work.
Jeggings are tight, nothing like pajamas at all. They are just form-fitting, tight pants. Pajamas are baggy.
I wear jeggins almost every day, their comfy, fit well and look good.. Im not talking skinny fabric ones, these are stretch slim trousers and look smart, I think this boss is a bit miffed with attention this female gets and wants to cover her up more... I remember many years ago I started a part time cleaning job, I had no money bringing up three young kids on my own.. so went along for this night time job... I didnt have an overall and the work didnt give them out so second day on the job I got a pull from the older woman supervisor who told me off about not wearing an overall, I told her it was old denims and t shirt I had on and it didnt matter if they got dirty or not.... but that wasnt what she was on about... she just didnt want me in her workplace with a body not covered enough... but she was adamant, get covered up she said or dont come back..... then on the way home I found out from other workers that she was having an affair with the janitor on the property where we worked.. both married people... so I kind of understood as Id noticed him and didnt care much for him at all.. another story.... anyway that night I asked my mum if she had any overalls, she had a white brand new fitted one like a nurse.. so I tried it on liked it and wore it next day.. more to annoy her than anything.. the other girls knew what was going on and commented on how smart it looked , jeezo I thought this woman would combust haha.. but be careful if you care about that job your doing... if its really paying well and you want to keep it maybe best to try and be in her good books.. seems petty to me though if your looking smart and well groomed she shouldnt be causing this stir... just my opinion. women can be catty..
While your boss specifically mentioned clothing, she also may have been concerned about your make-up and jewelry choices. There is work appropriate make-up and "going out" make-up. The same is true for jewelry.
Properly fitted women's trousers are very comfortable in my opinion and look much sharper than leggings.
Even if you don't want to stay at this company, an appropriate wardrobe for the job you want will help you move to the next job.
While I appreciate her attempt to mentor me, I feel like it was presumptions to assume I want to move up the ladder here - again, I appreciate the thought, but she has never once actually bothered to check in w/ me to see how Im doing, how Im liking it, or if I even want to progress in the company.
Yeah, she really sucks for assuming someone working for her would care about their career path -- or even want to have one. And relationships at work are a two way street: you could also have checked in with her to show that you're engaged and care about what you're doing there other than pulling in a paycheck.
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Im also a bit offended because I felt it was presumptuous of her to say, "now you can buy some new clothes." She doesn't know my financial obligations. Sure, I get paid well. But she doesn't know that Im in extreme student debt, I send money to my mother, my husband and I are trying to have a baby, etc.
You're being paid well to work for the company. I'm a licensed counselor, and to keep my license I have to pay out of my own pocket for continuing education. Every place I've worked, in IT and in mental health, has had dress requirements -- and they change. An agency I worked for had to change the dress code to exclude Crocs because the younger therapists were showing up with them.
Your financial situation is not the concern of your company or your boss. If you can't meet their requirements -- including how you're expected to present yourself in the workplace -- do them a favor and find a job somewhere else where your jeggings are acceptable.
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I know I probably sound like a baby. But Im just upset because I already try to go out of my way to look nice. I had a panic attack getting dress this morning. I already feel so uncomfortable, I've been walking around w/ my coat draped over me.
You have a lot to learn about how the business world works.
Can I continue to wear my "lame" work appropriate clothes since I don't want to move up without her harrassing me about my clothes again? As mentioned before, I've always worked in creative companies and I am insecure about my work there as it is since I don't fully understand subject matter. Now I feel like this will constantly be in the back of my mind making me increasingly uncomfortable and horrible at my job.
She made one comment, and not a terribly harsh one at that. That's not "harassing."
Without actually seeing your work ensembles it's not really possible to judge whether her comment was fair or not.
I can't believe this thread has gone on for eight pages.
The answer is very simple; the key is the "Dress for the job you want" line. The "Big Boss" wasn't complaining about the OP's dress at all, she was simply passing along the hint that the OP's work has been noticed and that she's been identified as someone likely to move up. I believe it was intended as a veiled compliment and a word of advice, not a criticism.
I get that the OP isn't interested in advancing with this company, but she hasn't made that clear so there's no reason for the "Big Boss" to assume she wouldn't be excited about the prospect of a promotion.
Leggings of any kind are inappropriate in a professional environment (unless they are worn UNDER a skirt), as are yoga pants. They are far too revealing and clingy.
Leggings of any kind are inappropriate in a professional environment (unless they are worn UNDER a skirt), as are yoga pants. They are far too revealing and clingy.
Wearing leggings with a long top is fine for work in a more casual place. But it may or may not be management appropriate.
You probably dress just fine --- to fit in as 'one of the girls.' But, even you pointed out, "This is a pharma company that runs the gamut of either super dressy or super casual. there are women who dress the full nine,while there are others who wear jeans everyday." I know nothing about women's fashions, but, ask yourself this question: "As you move up in the company, do you want to be identified with the women who "dress the full nine" or "others who wear jeans everyday"?
I don't see that "dress the full nine" means dressing professionally - it more likely means dressing for attention, versus for acceptance ("super casual"). Dressing professionally, on the other hand, is not a matter of dressing up or down, but to gain respect.
On the other hand, just because she's dressing in nice clothes, jewelry, and make-up, doesn't mean she's still not a stylistic klutz. Her defensiveness would seem to indicate a lack of confidence in her "look".
If not working to move up, why was she "working her ass off"? For approval and pats on the back?
Last edited by CrazyDonkey; 02-18-2017 at 12:53 PM..
Whether the OP wants to advance at her current place of employment or elsewhere she needs to have apparel that matches a higher level job. That can be achieved with two jackets, two skirts and two pants that co-ordinate. Add several blouses and a couple scarves to add variety. In many cities there are resale shops worthy of considering.
Lapel shapes and pants legs change, you want to shoot for a timeless look. It isn't necessary to spend thousands, just shop smart.
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