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so I'm the bad one because I don't want to take the time to train everybody in my field of expertise (share my knowledge)
but it's ok for her to ask me to "share my knowledge" with everybody, even though she has never done it
I'm the bad one for saying "Lead by example"
She does the certifying. I'm not sure how asking for some simple knowledge about what a department does is unreasonable. In my last job, I had to review and approve things to ensure they complied with certain requirements and I got a lot of the same pushback that you are giving. I am sorry that work has to meet certain requirements, but that is the way it is. If people aren't willing to share any of their knowledge, then the person who has to certify is going to send more things back because she isn't going to be able to do as much herself to make basic corrections. I know in my last job, I could make some basic corrections, but there were a lot of things I simply could not do because I did not have the right permissions in the system or the knowledge level of how to do what needed to be done.
She does the certifying. I'm not sure how asking for some simple knowledge about what a department does is unreasonable. In my last job, I had to review and approve things to ensure they complied with certain requirements and I got a lot of the same pushback that you are giving. I am sorry that work has to meet certain requirements, but that is the way it is. If people aren't willing to share any of their knowledge, then the person who has to certify is going to send more things back because she isn't going to be able to do as much herself to make basic corrections. I know in my last job, I could make some basic corrections, but there were a lot of things I simply could not do because I did not have the right permissions in the system or the knowledge level of how to do what needed to be done.
Shouldn't she be the first one to say "Sure, I'll train people on my field (certification)"?
Shouldn't she be the first one to say "Sure, I'll train people on my field (certification)"?
You send the work up to her. Usually it doesn't work that the people who are at the subsequent phase train people how to do their job. I've never been in offices where the level 1 person is trained by the level 2 person and level 3 person on what they do, but usually the level 2 person knows what the level 1 person does and the level 3 person typically knows what the level 1 and 2 person does.
Let it go. You're dealing with a "protected" class
Ding ding ding ding ding! We have a winner!
It may be different in other industries (I doubt it), but in tech, the absolute worst thing you could do is try to have an adult meeting with her to talk it out. Or to engage her and your potential conflict in any meaningful way. It's human nature to want to be liked, and further human nature to want to be reasonable and try to work through issues like adults, but in a professional setting this is about the worst possible course of action you can take in this day and age. And far too many people aren't capable of interacting in a logical and reasoned manner. The odds are way too high to run into a situation where she leverages her protected class status to use your well-intentioned meeting as a lottery ticket towards early retirement or a trebuchet of promotion advancement via some sort of formal claim, which has the collateral effect of putting your head on a pike.
Going to HR will similarly not get you very far, since you're guaranteed to be on the losing side of any debate because you aren't checking off a box on a diversity quota unless you've got more checkboxes i.e. you're a disabled POC veteran, and all it will do is give her a dedicated target she knows to be her enemy to go after. Is it fair? Not in the slightest. Is it the world we live in? You bet your ass, and she knows it, which is why she's so flippant about it. I've seen far too many well-meaning but ultimately naive people try to handle professional conflict like adults in situations such as this who ended up getting scalped for it, and something I make a point to drive home with any person I mentor. Your best bet is to limit interaction in any way you can, make sure most communications are done via email/Slack/some other trackable format. Which is not the same as giving in every time she makes an unreasonable demand; sometimes the game is just running enough interference with all your i's dotted and t's crossed until the given issue blows over or else she gets frustrated and moves on to the next thing to be angry about. Eventually either you or she will split off in a different direction with any luck.
Lieneke,
you are right, but that relationship changes depending on the type of work
For one thing, a big percentage of her work is in my "field of work" which she doesn't know about
so you could say that a big part of her work is actually my responsibility.
Your example with Autocad is different, because the drafter usually doesn't do any design
the engineer does 99% of the design and the drafter has 1% input.
In my case is more like 90% my input 10% her input.
And yes, she's a perfectionist .... I think in part, to seem smart, because a lot of times is picky about things that don't matter.
Thank you. I get it. She's making little busy work so she can say that she had to do A, B, C to ensure that the project was completed properly. In a way, that could result in her undermining you.
What about documenting the differences/ changes she requests, wait until you have three clear examples of "busy work", and then request a meeting with your manager and her ... and then discuss protocols regarding those types of changes, time management, and whether the changes actually add to the end result.
so I'm the bad one because I don't want to take the time to train everybody in my field of expertise (share my knowledge)
but it's ok for her to ask me to "share my knowledge" with everybody, even though she has never done it
I'm the bad one for saying "Lead by example"
The best way to get out of providing training is to refer to your job profile. Is there anything in there about providing training in your area of expertise to colleagues? If not, then it's not in your job description. End of discussion.
Shock the hell out of her by actually standing up to her for once. Tell her, you are not my boss and I'm sick and tired of your nasty attitude towards me all the time. Also say to her, please leave your personal problems at home, and stop taking them out on me. But, you have to say this with a stern voice, let her know you mean business, or we taking this to HR. Or, discuss it with whoever is the boss of both of you, or who is directly over your department, take it up the chain.
Shock the hell out of her by actually standing up to her for once. Tell her, you are not my boss and I'm sick and tired of your nasty attitude towards me all the time. Also say to her, please leave your personal problems at home, and stop taking them out on me. But, you have to say this with a stern voice, let her know you mean business, or we taking this to HR. Or, discuss it with whoever is the boss of both of you, or who is directly over your department, take it up the chain.
And with that, ipaper is on the unemployment line, and the coworker is enjoying a lovely 6-7 figure settlement as the result of a harassment claim because that's just how the system is set up. Nicely done.
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