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I've been at my job for about 3 years now. I decided to resign on Thursday to move to another company, hopefully with a healthier environment.
Our department has a huge turnover with approximately 1 to 2 resignations per month. This has led to having some team leads end up with no reports at all. Consequently, there are more team leaders & manager than actual analysts.
About 7 months after I started my job, my current manager got appointed. She's around my age and clearly has some confidence issues with she transfers onto me. She's never liked me from the moment she saw me even she she was not yet a manager. I remember once going up to her to tell her someone had called and wanted to speak to her, she didn't even want to look at me and kept looking at her screen, no thank you nothing.
You can imagine my shock when she became a manager, my manager. On top of this, I don't have a team, I'm the only one covering my desk/market. From that point onwards, it was belittling after belittling moments. She would ignore our 1-1 and whenever we'd have one, she would focus on the following:
- I should change departments because I'm supposedly meant for bigger things.
Mind you, I'm a top performer. I've received countless positive feedbacks from senior management on various operations I conducted across different jurisdictions.
- She cannot promote me because I'm not a social butterfly. I need to socialize more otherwise my manager won't be able to approve my promotion. Yet, I was still getting positive reviews from senior management.
- When the head of our department overseas granted me the opportunity to work on their biggest clients, she decided to make me work on a completely different market on my own (which I never cover) which requires approximately 2 employees to cover properly. When I brought it up to the head of the department saying that my work on top of this project on top of me covering for a market I'm not even assigned to is not realistic, my direct manager said I'm lying and I don't have any work to do.
This is absolutely not true as the head of the department overseas has a direct visibility on my workload and thus knew I'd screw up my own market & this big project if I were to take on a different market in addition which I was never assigned to in the first place. My manager wanted to basically make me work on an additional market without the consent of the head of the department I work with and later on called me "unprofessional" for bringing the issue to the head's awareness.
- After the last teammate I was close with left, she decided to completely ignore me for weeks on end. She would talk to other people and not me even though we didn't have any argument or anything. She blatantly ignored me, so that I would feel isolated.
- When I submitted my resignation, her response was: "This is happening. Wow. Well, this company is not your place. You're meant for bigger things and you may want to come back at some stage, but I suggest you do not".
- She said that if she didn't walk past my desk, she wouldn't know I exist (it's a blatant lie, she gets feedback emails from senior management about me on a monthly basis because of how great I was doing my job and she said I don't exist?).
When I announced my departure to the higher management abroad (above her), several of them jump on the occasion to write me a recommendations/reference etc ... All of them said I did a fantastic job and are really shocked I'm leaving. However, since I don't report to them, they can't offer anything especially as the company is going under restructuring. These are the people who wrote countless of emails to my direct manager to praise my work and she never bat an eyelash.
One time, I received a kuddos from the EMEA head and she ignored the email for an entire week. Everyone had responded by saying they agreed with him on the fact that I did an amazing job, except her. She responded a week later pretending she hadn't seen it when it's a lie. She reads all of her emails, especially from the EMEA head. She always responds to emails in 2 minutes and of course, when it was time to praise me, she ignored.
Anyway, you get the point. I feel like throwing her under the bus on my way out as there's no way I'm ever coming back to a department that has gone down the drain.
Do you reckon I should advise HR of her ways in a diplomatic manner? Or should I address those with her?
How about you focus on next job and not this one you are leaving?
You somehow think you were passed up for promotion but didn't say why you would be good for it. Being good at your job doesn't mean you would be good at a different job.
If how the way you are handling exit interview shows how you would have been as a manager/promoted, not too sure you would have been much better than other person.
Resign and move on. If you are asked why you are leaving, state because you find an opportunity that will fit you better and leave it at that. You never know when you might need them for a reference and it's never a good thing to bash a co-worker or Manager. Be the better person and move on.
With so many people leaving and finding new work, you would think Employers would not have the "2008 Recession mindset" and work hard on keeping their most valuable employees. They don't exactly grow on TREES these days. Horrible business minds running businesses these days. Just a complete LACK of common sense as well
How about you focus on next job and not this one you are leaving?
You somehow think you were passed up for promotion but didn't say why you would be good for it. Being good at your job doesn't mean you would be good at a different job.
If how the way you are handling exit interview shows how you would have been as a manager/promoted, not too sure you would have been much better than other person.
The promotion was not to manager level. That's one step below management.
And yes, I was a top performer. I think the flow of reviews from senior management to my middle-managers is a serious proof of how well I did.
So, just because I work on my own, I can't be a top performer?Where is this coming from? I've never heard of this.
Being a top perfomer is based on reaching your targets, deadlines, client reviews etc .. not on whether or not you have a team.
Resign and move on. If you are asked why you are leaving, state because you find an opportunity that will fit you better and leave it at that. You never know when you might need them for a reference and it's never a good thing to bash a co-worker or Manager. Be the better person and move on.
Good luck at your new job!
There's quite a bunch of people who offered to provide me with a reference without me asking and those people are well above her.
It's obvious the OP desires to mention every wart and all during exit interview despite any of us advising against doing so.
This situation reminds me of another thread on here where someone wanted to advise about a bully boss. The thing about workplace bullies is, you have to confront that bullying when it first starts, not sit there for many months and take the beating. By doing nothing, you end up with the OP's situation where all self respect is lost and there's nothing but bitterness and anger and a desire for revenge.
And that's basically what the OP experienced, a bully manager that belittles and disrespects. There's certainly nothing illegal about what the manager did, if the OP feels differently, I'd like to know why.
It's not what the OP wants to hear, but best to move on and leave the job without trying to throw the manager under the bus. I can assure you, if (or I should say, when) the OP vents all during exit interview, what exactly does the OP think will happen. Does the OP really think HR and those other bosses are going to gang up on this manager because the manager drove this 'valued' employee to quit? That's not going to happen, that person became a manager for a reason and HR and everyone else will protect his manager.
It's not that I don't understand the anger and humiliation the OP feels, but best to take the high road. I've had several jobs where I quit due to disrespect from management, but I never said anything negative during exit interview. It's not going to do anything, and all that does is perpetuate the anger you feel.
no, you dont want any of that you said to be taken down for the record by HR, could come back to bite you in the future somehow. Besides do you think HR is your freind and on your side and will actually do anything with that feedback?
What's more important, the ego boost you'd get in saying what you want about that person, or minimizing the damage and repairing relationships with that company well enough that you could potentially be hired back in the future? What do you gain from saying anything?
I am curious what you did to try and repair that relationship with her. What did she say when you talked to her directly about these things? I know how what I just said sounds, and I'm not trying to pick a fight. My point is, when quitting, the goal should be to leave on as good of terms as possible. Being able to apply again in the future and have a chance at getting a job is more important than anything you say about this person.
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