Fall Writing Challenge?

[elston]

Originally Posted by WhistlerMCMLV

I think you're onto something there. Though I would have written your second verse thus:

Summer herself, falling like Rome
before barbarian frost.

I learned a long enough time ago that understatement works as well in poetry as it does in prose. Or in comedy writing, for that matter.

Thank You. I like what you suggest....but really liked playing with the double meaning of Rome and a Rome which references Rome apples. I have rewritten it about 10 times now.....and will probably keep going.....maybe I can take your suggestion of understatement and make it work.

My last editing job did cut a lot of the original out......and the poem is better for that......maybe it is a process of successive approximation.

[WhistlerMCMLV]

Originally Posted by elston

Thank You. I like what you suggest....but really liked playing with the double meaning of Rome and a Rome which references Rome apples. I have rewritten it about 10 times now.....and will probably keep going.....maybe I can take your suggestion of understatement and make it work.

My last editing job did cut a lot of the original out......and the poem is better for that......maybe it is a process of successive approximation.

What you want---the double meaning of Rome---would be implied if you adapted my formulation. A test: Step away from it about an hour or so, then read it again. Removed even a short time from the actual effort of doing the writing, you might see the point more readily.

[therewego]

Originally Posted by kaykay

Well, I hesitate to declare anyone a "winner" today because of all the good entries. I'm not really qualified to judge what would be the best "writing" submitted. So in order not to "chicken out" entirely, I am reduced to just selecting one on a purely subjective basis. It's also hard to compare poetry with prose. All that said, the one I just personally was drawn to, if I have to select one, was probably yellowsnow's Thanksgiving memories. So many good submissions here...Whistler's was humorous and I loved Elston's entry reminiscing about Fall and Pocono Proud had a wonderful poem and Linicx's poignant entry touched me because I, too, have lost a child. And finally, childhood's view of fall by therewego...Many good ones...thanks all of you, for sharing.

Wow, thank you for mentioning my "entry". You have made my day! Happy Friday to everyone!