If The Bible Was A Bedtime Story

"Daddy, will you tell me a bedtime story?" Jenny asked.

"Sure, kiddo. What kind of bedtime story would you like to hear?" Her father replied.

"I want to hear a story with a happy ending!"

"Alright. I have just the story, sweetie. It's about a man named Abraham and his son Isaac."

"Who are they?" Jenny asked.

"I'm getting to that, sweetie. Now, let's see. Where shall we start? OK, I've got it. Are you ready?"

"Yes, Daddy, I'm ready!"

"A long, long time ago there lived a man by the name of Abraham and he had a son who was called Isaac. Abraham loved his son very much but one day a spirit called God asked Abraham to sacrifice his son for him."

"What does sacrifice mean, Daddy?" Jenny asked.

"It means to kill something or someone as a tribute to something else. In this case, Abraham was asked to kill his son Isaac for this spirit."

"That's scary, Daddy. Why would this spirit want Abraham to kill his son?"

"I'm not quite sure, my dear, but you'll see that this is very important to the story... Abraham begs and pleads with this spirit that he really loves his son but that if God wishes, he would gladly kill his own son for God."

"Daddy. Would you kill me if God asked?" Jenny quickly asked.

Her father hesitated for a minute not quite sure how to answer. "I'm not sure, sweetheart. But, don't worry, God doesn't really ask for child sacrifices anymore."

"OK, Daddy... I hope this story has a happy ending to it."

"It does, my dear, don't worry."

"So Abraham, knowing what he has to do, takes his son on a camping trip just like the camping trip we're going on in a few weeks. They went high up on a very tall hill just like the one we're going to climb and the closer they got, the more solemn Abraham became because he knew he was going to have to kill his son."

"Daddy?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Won't Abraham get in trouble for killing his son? Won't the policeman come and get him?"

"No, dear. God's law is absolute so if he's doing it for God than it's OK."

"OK."

"So, Abraham has a satchel full of equipment he's going to use for the murder. He has knives, plastic garbage bags, rope, duct tape, a shovel, and a few other things he needs to commit the perfect sacrifice but he's still worried whether or not this is the right thing to do."

"Daddy? Is it the right thing to do?"

"What's that, honey? Kill your son... or daughter... if God asks?"

"Yes."

"I don't know. I think if God asks then he is doing so for a reason as you'll see later."

"But, he's never asked you to do that Daddy, right?" Jenny cautiously asked.

"No, of course not, sweetheart." Her father thought carefully to himself.

"So, Isaac and Abraham finally make it to the top of the large hill and they look out upon all the land and marvel at its beauty. The next thing Isaac knew, his father had put a plastic bag over his head and was suffocating him. Before long, Isaac passed out and Abraham got to work. He put down plastic tarps all around a very special rock and then he stripped Isaac naked and tied him down very tightly with ropes. Then, he duct taped his mouth shut and started digging a grave until Isaac once again woke up." Jenny's father said with a surge of excitement in his voice.

Jenny was upright in her bed at this point and demanded to know "What happened?"

"Well," her father said, "just as Abraham was going to saw Isaac's head off with a serated combat knife, a thunderous voice from the heavens boomed throughout all the land. It was God."

Jenny did not ask any questions. She was silent and her eyes were as wide as quarters.

Her father continued. "God spoke to Abraham and told him. 'Abraham, this was just a test to see if you were loyal to me. You have passed. You no longer have to saw off your son's head for my approval. I trust your faith in me, your God.'" Jenny's father said with a disapproving grunt.

"So," Jenny asked with much relief, "God didn't really want Abraham to kill Isaac? It was just a test?"

"Yes, sweetheart. That's right. Just a lousy, miserable test," her father replied.

"Wow!" Jenny exclaimed. "I see how wonderful God really is now! Mommy was right! He is always looking over everything isn't he? And he loves me just like he loved Isaac and Abraham, right?"

"Yes. And after that, Abraham and Isaac got along better than ever before. They were inseparable for the remainder of Abraham's life. The End.

"That's a neat story, Daddy. I'm just glad God doesn't do that stuff anymore. It's scary to me."

"Don't worry, dear. He doesn't. But... We are going camping next weekend - just you and me. Now, get some rest, sweetie, and say your prayers. Good night!"