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I'm only 19, but I'm about 80% sure that I rather adopt. How did you convince your spouse that adoption was the way to go. I think most guys (who want to be parents) want to have their own biological child.
Did you experience post-adotion depression?
Did you buy breast milk?
Do you know the family medical history of your child?
I'm only 19, but I'm about 80% sure that I rather adopt. How did you convince your spouse that adoption was the way to go. I think most guys (who want to be parents) want to have their own biological child.
Did you experience post-adotion depression?
Did you buy breast milk?
Do you know the family medical history of your child?
First of all you have to be 21 to adopt. I think it is great that you want to adopt. Yes, many men want to have biological children of their own, but there are also men that are open to adoption and just want to have a family. I personally did not have post-adoption depression at all. I knew a little bit of the medical history and then found out some more later. As far as breat milk we did not buy that, she was on formula. If I had not been on thyroid and high blood pressure medication I would have worked to breast feed her myself. You can look into induced lactation and breast feed a baby yourself, or at least partially breast feed it if you want to.
If you have to convince somebody on something this important then it might not bode so well for attachment. This is definitely something which should be discussed before marriage.
Lots in the news now about tainted breast milk on the internet. I would not chance it.
while I nursed our bio son for 2.5 years and would not trade it for anything in the world, I did not go to extraordinary lengths to try to nurse our first adopted child when he was weaned only a few months by the time she came home. I did not want to take hormones for lactation since I was full of hormones to get pregnant just3 years prior to her adoption. Still she did latch on but only for comfort after the bottle for the first few weeks.
no medical info at all and it did not bother her or us at all. She has sent DNA to 23 and me now and will get some info when that is complete. We will do the same for our other adopted children when they are teens.
I didn't have to convince my husband. I'm looking into induced lactation, but if I can't I will only buy breast milk from the National Milk Bank (certified), or just buy formula.
You don't give your reasons for wanting to adopt - and that's fine here. But in order to convince someone else to your point of view, especially on something as life-changing as having a family, you must be pretty clear and thoughtful about your reasons. And in this case, I think that rather than reasons for adoption [of which you can find many], you will have to instead focus on why you don't want your union to produce any biological children. If your spouse wants biological children, you will first have to convince them why they should give up that option.
You don't give your reasons for wanting to adopt - and that's fine here. But in order to convince someone else to your point of view, especially on something as life-changing as having a family, you must be pretty clear and thoughtful about your reasons. And in this case, I think that rather than reasons for adoption [of which you can find many], you will have to instead focus on why you don't want your union to produce any biological children. If your spouse wants biological children, you will first have to convince them why they should give up that option.
I want to adopt because I want assure a mother that I can love and nurture her child to be the best he or she can be. I also have struggled with body image issues, and I fear that pregnancy will make that worse. That's probably the main reason… No matter how much I weigh, I can never be satisfied and I think that getting pregnant and then trying to lose the baby weight will just be too much for me to handle. My mom suggests a surrogate, but I think that's going to the extreme. There's also a history of mental illnesses in my family and I'd like to avoid that. I think my reasons are valid, but then again it's all about one's point of view.
I've known women who adopt or use surrogates because of fears about pregnancy- which is what you have. You fear losing control of your body's shape as did they. Frankly it did not work out very well for them.
The truth is that having children-no matter how you do it- means losing control of your life and body to a certain extent and for a certain amount of time. You can't continue to dress like you would like- no necklaces or bracelets or even dangly earrings when they are in the grabby stage. You get barfed on several times a day. they poop on you and their clothes and in their beds. When they are little and to a certain extent as they grow up children take center stage and priority much of the time. It is still possible to have your own life but balancing the needs of children and your own needs are increasingly difficult.
There are many reason to prefer adoption over pregnancy. Personally changes in my body were part of the reason why I Chose pregnancy over adoption for our first child. I wanted to feel life inside me. I couldn't wait to nurse. I elected for a completely drug free delivery because I wanted to experience it all- I knew this would be my only pregnancy.
Yes most women gain weight but most of us can get it off with a bit of work. I bet most overweight women can't blame their shape problems on a long ago pregnancy.
I've known women who adopt or use surrogates because of fears about pregnancy- which is what you have. You fear losing control of your body's shape as did they. Frankly it did not work out very well for them.
The truth is that having children-no matter how you do it- means losing control of your life and body to a certain extent and for a certain amount of time. You can't continue to dress like you would like- no necklaces or bracelets or even dangly earrings when they are in the grabby stage. You get barfed on several times a day. they poop on you and their clothes and in their beds. When they are little and to a certain extent as they grow up children take center stage and priority much of the time. It is still possible to have your own life but balancing the needs of children and your own needs are increasingly difficult.
There are many reason to prefer adoption over pregnancy. Personally changes in my body were part of the reason why I Chose pregnancy over adoption for our first child. I wanted to feel life inside me. I couldn't wait to nurse. I elected for a completely drug free delivery because I wanted to experience it all- I knew this would be my only pregnancy.
Yes most women gain weight but most of us can get it off with a bit of work. I bet most overweight women can't blame their shape problems on a long ago pregnancy.
You hit the nail on the head! I'm paranoid. I know that I have issues with my own image. When I'm down in the dumps, I binge eat. Then, I feel bad about binging then I fast for the next 3 days. I work on it each day, but it's really hard. My eating disorder is a big struggle. I'm still trying to get a hold of my body because now I'm obese. My mom has said that she would be a surrogate for me. *long sigh* Oh, my issues…
No judgement intended - we all have issues! But we owe it to the children we raise, whether adopted or bio, to work out our own issues as best we can before we take on a passenger on that ride. The chances of passing on unresolved issues to children who look to us as the examples & models of managing their lives is great. Having bio or adopted children is an option for many years to come for you. Take some time now to make yourself the best parent you can be for that future child, and best of luck.
No judgement intended - we all have issues! But we owe it to the children we raise, whether adopted or bio, to work out our own issues as best we can before we take on a passenger on that ride. The chances of passing on unresolved issues to children who look to us as the examples & models of managing their lives is great. Having bio or adopted children is an option for many years to come for you. Take some time now to make yourself the best parent you can be for that future child, and best of luck.
So very true. Another reason why really young people should not be having kids. They just don't have their own lives under control yet.
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