If An Atheist had An Unhappy Life Does He Feel Cheated When Death Approaches? (meaning, believe)

[thrillobyte]

I can understand how an atheist who was happily married, had children, was successful in their career and in their personal life could face death without any regrets. They got out of life everything they felt life had to offer. But what about the flip side where an atheist was trapped in a miserable marriage (s)he could not escape for one reason or another, couldn't have children when they desperately wanted them, failed at nearly everything they tried and came to the end of life feeling like all the things that make a life worth living had completely eluded them.

This is not a challenge or an attempt to preach as per the terms of the forum. I am genuinely interested in how atheists face these feelings. Do atheists who had an unhappy life feel cheated in any way? I have my own issues with many of these things and deal with them as best I can. I wonder if our divergent issues of faith/lack of faith fade away when each is confronted with the end of our earthly existence. Any opinions are appreciated.

[logline]

I don't see how success or failure in life has anything to do with religion or atheism. To answer your question, an atheist will feel pretty much the same way a religious person would feel after a life filled with failure and frustration: disappointed. Why would an atheist feel "cheated" if there is nothing promised to him? Truth is, we all make our own life decisions and deal with them as best we can... religion (or lack therof) doesn't come into it at all.

I don't even understand the premise of the question.

[TRANSPONDER]

I think I can understand the question. One does notice a sort of innate feeling that we are 'entitled' to a decent life and if we don't get one then life has (as Terry Pratchett put is) 'Failed to be either beautiful or true'.

I can imagine that theists might feel that their worship of the true God (thereby pleasing Him) should entitle them to some extras and indeed the religion tends to suggest that regular shopper status would result in a few special offers and bargains. If all you get is redundancy and your house knocked down by Hurricane Zedekiah (I suppose there will never be a Hurricane Jesus) then being told it is God's will and all join hands around the wreckage of your life and praise Him for his mercy...which will no doubt be along any minute.. well, I shall have to leave that to the believers.

The atheist..well, I'm hoping for another 20 years and I look back and think: 'If I had that to do again, I'd do it differently'. But I know there is nobody to blame for it other than me. If my life has been messed up by other people, then I just resolve that we make it better for others coming after.

Better working conditions so your lungs are not ruined. More affordable housing (Ha! ) so at the age where you want a nice place where you can host orgies and a nice back garden for the baby - barbeque you don't have your social life ruined by trying to manage in an overpriced rented boxhole with no facilities. Better desk - training as it was so poor - that is, non -existent - that the only way to not make errors in your job is to be a genius with a photographic memory.

Yep, we can feel cheated, but no way by the god who wasn't there ('W's in Augbergines don't count) but by things society has to get right and is getting right (apart from the housing.., blast their innards )

And there have been some good times and I have done much better than an ordinary bod of mediocre ability could have expected. Generally I don't feel cheated of anything. About other atheists I can't speak, but I doubt whether the Mel Gibson image of the unbeliever muttering 'I hate you,I hate you' is anything but a stock theist misconception.

[brightdoglover]

I find the question sort of non-answerable- don't understand what it's based on.
My aunt, a believing Catholic, says if she didn't expect an afterlife, "I'd have to commit suicide because none of this would be meaningful." I truly don't understand the believer logic in this.

[TRANSPONDER]

I think I can understand the question. One does notice a sort of innate feeling that we are 'entitled' to a decent life and if we don't get one then life has (as terry Pratchett put is) 'Failed to be either good or true'.

I can imagine that theists might feel that their worship of the true God (thereby pleasing Him) should entitle them to some extras and indeed the religion tends to suggest that regular shopper status would result in a few special offers and bargains. If all you get is redundancy and your house knocked down by Hurricane Zedekiah (I suppose there will never be a Hurricane Jesus) then being told it is God's will and all join hands around the wreckage of your life and praise Him for his mercy...which will no doubt be along any minute.. well, I shall have to leave that to the believers.

The atheist..well, I'm hoping for another 20 years and i look back and think 'If I had that to do again, I'd do it differently'. But I know there is nobody to blame for it other than me. If my life has been messed up by other people, then I just resolve that we make it better for others coming after.

Better working conditions so your lungs are not ruined. More affordable housing (Ha! ) so at the age where you want a nice place where you can host orgies and a nice back garden for the baby - barbeque you don't have your social life ruined by trying to manage in an overpriced rented boxhole with no facilities. Better desk - training so the only way to not make errors in your job is to be a genius with a photographic memory.

Yep, we can feel cheated, but no way by the god who wasn't there ('W's in Augbergines don't count) but by things society has to get right and is getting right (apart from the housing.., blast their innards )

And there have been some good times and I have done much better than an ordinary bod of mediocre ability could have expected. Generally I don't feel cheated of anything. About other atheists i can't speak,but I doubt whether the Mel Gibson image of the unbeliever muttering 'I hate you,I hate you' is anything but a stock theist misconception.

[BIMBAM]

I think I get what this person is saying. TBH, yeah, I think for the atheist living a full life takes on greater importance as to us that's all that there is, although serving to help other people have good lives too, through sacrifice, also has value. If my life was awful and I was facing death, yeah, I'd feel profoundly sad that I hadn't had a chance to better realize the potential of this amazing thing - this spectacular, singularly important fact of being alive. There's always going to be some regret as no one does everything right, but if I live an okay life I'll be satisfied when the end comes, it's a natural part of the cycle and more life will follow me. But if I truly didn't use the one thing that ever mattered right, it'd be a terrible tragedy no matter how I tried to make it better by looking at the thing from another angle. I'm not sure such a life is possible, however, even a tragic life is filled with moments of deep beauty, and hardship can make one grow. I'm not sure that the definition of a good life is one where you sail through the world without anything challenging ever happening to you until you cruise into a coffin. In the end, it really comes down to the philosophical question of what really does make life worth living? I'm not sure what you defined is what would define it for me.

[logline]

BIMBAM, I think you're putting way too much meaning into the original question which is banal and pointless. thrillobyte is essentially asking: "If a football player and a basketball player go into a restaurant and both get a bad meal, is there a difference in how they feel cheated?"

The answer is no. It makes no difference if they're a basketball player or a football player (or a believer or an atheist).

[thrillobyte]

Yes, Arequipa, you get my point.

logline, you miss my point.

There IS a difference between the two. As I'm sure we can all agree that theism and atheism is a matter of faith since neither side can prove empirically their view is right, a theist who has had a profoundly unhappy life works on the premise that there is another shot at happiness after death. Whether it's true or not, is moot. The important thing is that a theist "believes" it's true and this belief gives them some sort of comfort, hopefully, when they receive the news they have terminal cancer.

An atheist, I assume, has no such hope for something better beyond. A atheist gets one shot at happiness, however they define happiness, and once this life is over that chance is gone. This is the premise upon which I base my question. There are several paths we can take on this: eg. if a Christian is unhappy for whatever reason, faith or no faith, find something to make them happy now, not in the hereafter. That's not the premise of my question.

Taking my own life, I am profoundly unhappy in many things in my life, most which I cannot change. My faith enables me to bear up under them because I have faith there is a "reward" waiting for me for my suffering in this life. If I were an atheist I imagine I'd just end it all.

Theists and non-theists alike face the same end-of-life issues. And very few of us get an ideal life. I know I didn't. And when my time comes I will be on my deathbed full of grief that my life went so wrong. All I'll have to look forward to at that point to help comfort me in my feelings I was cheated out of life's pleasures is the thought that I'll be waking up to something better. The thrust of my question is the state of mind an atheist will be in when confronted with the same situation, but not having anything to look forward to except the end of physical life. Does this cause the sense of feeling cheated to become magnified in any way, do they just say "Hey, that's life"?

[Butterfly4u]

THrillobyte,
I am an atheist.
You get one chance at this thing called life. That's it.
If you aren't happy, change it.
You may say, "Oh, I can't. I must continue to suffer and endure the life
I have choosen for myself".
OK. But that is your choice.
We all create our own lives. Some people have a horrible life. But they
make it horrible.
Some people have wonderful lives and when they are faced with decisions,
they choose what will make them happy.
No regrets. Don't look back.
I consider regret a double negitive.
If I don't like something, if I am truly unhappy, I have to change it.
I have no choice. Life is too short not to.
Happiness is also a state of mind. Try to look at the positive in a situation
and see if you can change it to be even more positive.
Do I just say "Hey, that's life?"
LOL. I guess we all do to some extent.
I concentrate more on the quality of my life, what I can do for people
I love and even strangers, living the best quality of life that I can for the
day I am here.
After death doesn't matter.
I know it is hard for a person who relies on a god and getting
their just rewards after this life to understand this way of thinking.
The only person who can make you truly happy in life, is you.

[ABQConvict]

Cheated by whom? Cheating requires an agent with intent.