"Exotic" in Atlanta (Arabi: living in, haircuts, deals)

[DreamerD]

Originally Posted by AnsleyPark

Wowzers! Where were you hanging out???

Good question! Someone indicated maybe it's gay spots versus hetero but at both...even a meetup, my ethnicity always gets put up for discussion and it becomes the conversation versus a little chit chat.

[DreamerD]

It's very tiring and already old. It's definitely not something I look forward to.

[AnsleyPark]

Originally Posted by DreamerD

It's very tiring and already old. It's definitely not something I look forward to.

I'm sure that is tiring. Sorry that is happening to you.

[DreamerD]

Originally Posted by AnsleyPark

I'm sure that is tiring. Sorry that is happening to you.

It's whatever I guess. I just love socializing and have been socializing more and I guess this comes with it. I hang out ITP and OTP but more recently I have definitely been hanging more ITP. I've got school to worry about. It's funny because I think last year I was complaining about socializing (how difficult it is to) and now I'm doing it more and it turns out I will have to take a break from it due to school and just people in general. I will be back out though and hopefully have better luck.

[arjay57]

Originally Posted by DreamerD

I've decided that maybe I need to do more to be a part of the solution. I plan on being more forceful so that people know that I do not want to talk about my race/ethnicity and will not stand for it. People don't take hints and continue asking away no matter how you try to steer the conversation towards another topic and so I shouldn't have to be forceful in how I speak to people but apparently it's necessary.

That is a great idea, Dreamer. Stick it to them!!

If I happen to there I'll back you up 100%.

I'll guarantee people don't want some old geezer getting up in their face.

[CaliDreaming01]

Originally Posted by DreamerD

I was going to let this thread die but I went to hang out the other day in Atlanta. I'm not kidding you...for the entire night, the subject of the conversation was the guys there wanting to know "what you're mixed with," the size of my _, and whether or not my _ is cut or uncut. Even when I left the people and came back, which is a pretty rude thing to do, they still kept asking.



I am posting this because I know there are those who think I exaggerate about my experiences in Atlanta and so I thought maybe I should post when it happens because it's certainly Atlanta related and related to the topic. You can't make this stuff up lol.



What's really weird is how people get upset when I tell them I'm black. They feel as if they have the right...the authority to not only be able to get into my business but that I must, I ought to answer them. I don't know where people get this sense of ownership from as if my business belongs to them and they are entitled to it.


I've decided that maybe I need to do more to be a part of the solution. I plan on being more forceful so that people know that I do not want to talk about my race/ethnicity and will not stand for it. People don't take hints and continue asking away no matter how you try to steer the conversation towards another topic and so I shouldn't have to be forceful in how I speak to people but apparently it's necessary.

Yes I think it's good that you're continuing to push back. The people who can't get over color may not change, but there are many others who might start to think about their attitudes and change for the better.

[DreamerD]

Originally Posted by arjay57

That is a great idea, Dreamer. Stick it to them!!

If I happen to there I'll back you up 100%.

I'll guarantee people don't want some old geezer getting up in their face.

LOL. Thanks! If you were there and they chose not to change their behavior, I'd probably just ask you if we could go somewhere else. There are plenty of places in Midtown to hang out.

[DreamerD]

Originally Posted by CaliDreaming01

Yes I think it's good that you're continuing to push back. The people who can't get over color may not change, but there are many others who might start to think about their attitudes and change for the better.

Exactly! The hope is that though they may not change in that instance, my words will stick with them and they'll think twice before let's say calling me exotic. I know some don't want to open their minds but be respectful of people. If they tell you not to call them exotic then don't do it.

[Atlwarrior]

You guys or women crack me up. Let’s solved the light/ dark skinned dilemma within our own race before we try to tackle other skin tone or being perceived as “exotic issues”. In my experience light skinned blacks in Atlanta and nationally continue to perpetuate stereotypes about skin tone and light skin being better that are not healthy. How can you want someone to view you respectfully when you are the source of discord about skin color. That’s seems extremely duplicitous and bi-poplar to me.

[DreamerD]

Originally Posted by Atlwarrior

You guys or women crack me up. Let’s solved the light/ dark skinned dilemma within our own race before we try to tackle other skin tone or being perceived as “exotic issues”. In my experience light skinned blacks in Atlanta and nationally continue to perpetuate stereotypes about skin tone and light skin being better that are not healthy. How can you want someone to view you respectfully when you are the source of discord about skin color. That’s seems extremely duplicitous and bi-poplar to me.

I don't think this thread is helping you to understand. Should you ever go back to school, a class like race & ethnicity (sociology) would do you well because it's obvious we're not reaching you.



Even though the way exotic is being used to describe people is the topic of this thread, it involves the light versus dark skin issue. I've had light skin all the way to dark skin but more so darker skin people point out all my features that make me "international looking" make me "special." I'm trying not to have people talk about my features but I can't help that they have racist ideas about their own skin color/physical features. Talking about race even with black people isn't an easy thing to do. It was far easier in the classroom but outside, they don't even want to listen.



Just to make it clear, it annoys me when people tell me I have "pretty hair." I've dealt with this from childhood all the way to now. It's old people, middle-aged, young. I've tried to counter the pretty hair thing by telling them their hair is beautiful. I don't know if they believe it but I would hope they do. And what do you think the other night was about? Those were black men saying those things to me. They were so fixated on my skin color, where I'm from, etc. I wrote the sexual stuff they asked me too. Literally...the entire night. I had to leave them because they wouldn't talk about anything else.