Well I'm sitting here wishing it were May or was it March when I was reading about Margaret the first (a duchess) and wishing I could write a novel on Spencer women,the Spencer's are an aristocratic English family,princess Diana is one of their descendants.I was at the time preoccupied with a novel too about an obscure English Fairy tale.I can't tell you the grief of not doing that anymore,to not feel immersed in it all,to not be able to think on it or be inspired,it gives me so much longing.I don't...

Well I was having deep sleep and I can't describe how amazing that feels.That people sleep like this every night and don't cry from joy every morning over it amazes me.I felt so relaxed,invincible and alive my gosh,and straight away looked blooming again,but it seems to have gone back to "feels like I was half awake all night" variety of sleep I've had the last...

Well I'm looking at denim overalls,such a classic I love it with a nice white bodysuit underneath.I just adore anything classic right now and am going through once again what I call my Annie from father of the bride moments.I truly have two personalities ; a wild poet and free spirit,a romantic and artistic temprement and then a side that is completely old fashioned,wholesome,girlish,loves...

Was feeling in a brighter mood due to a bit better sleep at long last,my god the body finally feels a bit restored and rested,you don't realise the depths of absolute hell you've been in till you finally get rest.The world just seemed more beautiful,like it was opening up and it's summer here so everything looked lit and glorious.It was making me yearn for my childhood Xmas holidays down in the entrance,I wanted to be there sitting in the park eating chips and enjoying the summer crowds,the calm...

Well because of my terrible sleep my brain damage seems to have worsened and things are not sinking in,memories and feelings are vague or not there.I read over my last entry and wish to feel that again,I feel in some strange new world,it's bewildering and I'm suicidal again because I cannot take these changes.My sleep just needs to improve,if I could have had real sleep all these months my brain would have only improved.To watch yourself deteriorate when there's nothing you can do is more than I...