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Congrats on being more than halfway through treatment, rlrl. Remember how terrifying it was before starting? Now you're a pro at this, and before you know it, you'll be done!
Sorry that nurse is getting on your nerves. That would probably annoy me too. I tend to be a little blunt; were I in your shoes, when she starts asking such questions, you might just say, "I'm not really wanting small talk today." Or, before she starts asking you questions, you might try to start a different conversation with a question to get her talking about something you don't mind discussing, maybe a question about your lab work, medication, side effects, etc.
trouble is, interestingly, those things you mention(lab work, meds, side effects) she really can't do much with those. only the oncologist can. she seems to be interested in "fixing" me with things that aren't directly related to cancer
she is also a bit on the flirty side, i have no interest (I dislike domineering women who cover up their dominant side with flirtateousness because it always makes me wonder whats on their agenda). im pretty numb in this phase of my life, i just want to complete treatment, pay off all my medical bills and im not looking for a relationship (the treatment has sapped all my desire for love!!)
one of the most irritating things was when she asked what i was going to do when i got home. im going to work then coming home and napping. to discount what i say with a "but what about the weekend?" is really annoying. its kind of like she suspects i am alone and then wants to drag it out and present it as much a "problem" as possible.
that nurse still annoys me. she gets abrupt and impatient about their stupid requisition forms that have to be completed and turned in before going for bloodwork or making a future appt. whenever i get confused or overwhelmed (happens when i find out that i may have to go to the ER or be on watch for an infection etc) she is not sensitive to what i am going thru. i think she means well but it really irks me. she is all greeting and smiles but when the going gets tough for me (and believe me most of the time the going is easy unless something happens that worries me) she gets abrupt. always about those stupid forms. part of it is that they screw up those forms and try to pawn it off on the patients by asking dumb questions like did i get a form. its like how on earth would i know ive got so much on my mind is getting a form my first priority??!! heck no finding out from the doc how my blood results were and my future treatment are my priorities
and my social worker while quite resourceful and clearly wants to help, there are times where she gets innapropriately histrionic with me about her desire to help. some of this may be because she knows im a social worker myself. she focuses on silly things like a possible rash on my skin and my constantly itching the skin. i was put on paxil to alleviate panic attacks and she refers to it as "mood medicine". i think she has some kind of prejudice because im a certain age and live alone and am unmarried. shes very flashy and flamboyant, my mom tried to be that way but i could see thru it. probably has to do with my mom i guess
its just like ive discovered that i have a really difficult time making anything work with professional women (nurses, social workers)and i guess this is a problem with me in my personal relations with women too. its like im very uncomfortable...
i have no issues or problems with my oncologist or his male residents/assistants. they are fantastic. they are 100% tuned in to me and don't focus on forms or other things that are not immediately relevant to the day.
i wish i could see another nurse before seeing the doc (the social worker i could live with) but im too intimidated to complain. i don't who to complain to either and im not sure if my complaint will be taken seriously. she questions everything i do (like why do i bring my work bag to the office- answer to that is that is where all my otc pills are in the event that i need them- im very somatic) she questions that over and over and looks at my workbag like shes working in airline security. for a simple thing like taking my weight i can never seem to get it right.
It's interesting, the interactions that happen during treatments. I had nurses I loved, I had a P.A. that I adored and another P.A. that I didn't like at all. By the end of treatments I was sorry to leave them all, even the ones that annoyed me, they sort of became a secondary family of sorts. Where are you at with your treatments at this point?
the interferon didn't work out so well as a nodule in my lung grew slightly. not a big thing but the doc DCd the interferon and put me on ipilimumab (yervoy) which is recognized and respected by insurance but in many circles it is still considered an experimental drug
ive had 2 treatments my 3rd was postponed till next week i expect to be done by December
its major side effects are endocrine damage and colitis(diarrhea)
no endo problems so far but the colitis has been bad so i was put on prednisone a corticosteroid to relieve the inflammation in the colon and also to prevent enterocolitis infection. and of course immodium helps too
prednisone raises blood sugar and i am already a borderline diabetic so i have to watch my diet. no problems so far
the colitis has made me slightly dehydrated so i am pushing fluids and gatorade 2 as much as i can
other than the annoyance of the colitis im fine and this treatment actually goes against what the interferon did--nausea, poor appetite, fatigue. it seems to have dissolved all my panic attacks and if there is an antidepressant i could take with these effects id like to take it
now, Friday AM i ran a lo grade fever and i was kind of upset since the doc suspected possible infection and i had to work Sunday
with that on my plate i was pretty stressed out and upset
this is why i could not deal with the social worker and nurse, they simply start with their own agenda and do not follow a logical course of asking the patient (me) where they are at a given time
ive had 2 treatments my 3rd was postponed till next week i expect to be done by December...this treatment actually seems to have dissolved all my panic attacks...
doc complimented me this AM and i left feeling good. he was surprised to learn that i weighed as much as 228 he didn't see me as that heavy (Ive always had a weight problem 2 yrs ago i weighed 256 and have weighed even more). since hes an oncologist maybe he sees things from a different perpective; he wants me to be hungry he feels its a sign of good health. my mom by contrast was always trying to get me to eat as little as possible(but when she felt guilty she would try to get me to eat more but thats a whole other thing...)
ive lost weight from the interferon and ive lost a little from all the going to the can but my appetite is good so i gain a little, balancing everything out
im continuing on the yervoy for 2 more trials and hes upped the prednisone a little so hopefully i will be running less
hes always been impressed that the treatments never have affected me in any adverse way
i had to cut out fruit from my diet because my pre meal sugars can run from 150-250. a meal can boost my sugar into the 300's(no danger as long as my sugars don't reach over 400 which has never happened; my last 90 day sugar reading was 135)
it will be nice when i go off the prednisone and my sugars will return to "normal"
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