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I am exploring assisted living options. I am coming to terms with "putting mom away" or moving her to one of those facilities. I know it's the right thing to do because I am not equipped medically, emotionally or financially to take care of her and a toddler. I don't have much help from extended family, so it's my only option.
I think that it is good that you are exploring options, some people can be hands on caregivers up until the very end, for others a better option for both parties is assisted living or even in the cases of financial issues a nursing home. Don't think of it as "putting Mom away" but as doing what is best for all parties. How does your mother feel about assisted living?
I think that it is good that you are exploring options, some people can be hands on caregivers up until the very end, for others a better option for both parties is assisted living or even in the cases of financial issues a nursing home. Don't think of it as "putting Mom away" but as doing what is best for all parties. How does your mother feel about assisted living?
We visited the assisted living facility this past Tuesday, and she actually liked what she saw. They are assisted living apartments, so she will still have privacy. She is starting to understand that it will be for the best. She has to be checked on through out the day due to memory loss and making sure she takes her medicine properly (not hiding it, as she has somehow managed to hide/save medication for later on occasion). The facility will also have more activities for her during the day too instead of staying in, sleeping and getting depressed even further. Also, getting to and from medical appointments would be easier too.
I'm not able to do any of that because I work full-time during the week, and I have to accomplish everything for her in one day, either a Saturday or Sunday. I don't have much vacation time, and my FMLA will run out soon.
We visited the assisted living facility this past Tuesday, and she actually liked what she saw. They are assisted living apartments, so she will still have privacy. She is starting to understand that it will be for the best. She has to be checked on through out the day due to memory loss and making sure she takes her medicine properly (not hiding it, as she has somehow managed to hide/save medication for later on occasion). The facility will also have more activities for her during the day too instead of staying in, sleeping and getting depressed even further. Also, getting to and from medical appointments would be easier too.
I'm not able to do any of that because I work full-time during the week, and I have to accomplish everything for her in one day, either a Saturday or Sunday. I don't have much vacation time, and my FMLA will run out soon.
Wonderful. You are very lucky, as it sounds like you have a nice option that she can afford that your mother even likes. It is rare for these transitions to go so smoothly, so let me tell you that you are ahead of the game. The best scenario is finding a place that also has a nursing or memory care wing attached so you can transition to that over time, if needed. If that isn't possible now, one step at a time is ok.
I hope you can accompany your Mom to the doctor so you can be sure everyone is on the same page. It is very common to have clinical depression along with memory loss/dementia/Alzheimer's and this can improve with treatment/medication, so let the doctor know (privately if necessary) if this is an issue. Depression in the elderly is horribly under treated.
Wonderful. You are very lucky, as it sounds like you have a nice option that she can afford that your mother even likes. It is rare for these transitions to go so smoothly, so let me tell you that you are ahead of the game. The best scenario is finding a place that also has a nursing or memory care wing attached so you can transition to that over time, if needed. If that isn't possible now, one step at a time is ok.
I hope you can accompany your Mom to the doctor so you can be sure everyone is on the same page. It is very common to have clinical depression along with memory loss/dementia/Alzheimer's and this can improve with treatment/medication, so let the doctor know (privately if necessary) if this is an issue. Depression in the elderly is horribly under treated.
Thank you sf! I am trying my best to stay on top of things.
We visited the assisted living facility this past Tuesday, and she actually liked what she saw. They are assisted living apartments, so she will still have privacy. She is starting to understand that it will be for the best. She has to be checked on through out the day due to memory loss and making sure she takes her medicine properly (not hiding it, as she has somehow managed to hide/save medication for later on occasion). The facility will also have more activities for her during the day too instead of staying in, sleeping and getting depressed even further. Also, getting to and from medical appointments would be easier too.
I'm not able to do any of that because I work full-time during the week, and I have to accomplish everything for her in one day, either a Saturday or Sunday. I don't have much vacation time, and my FMLA will run out soon.
This is exactly what she needs. Good for both of you!
I started caring for my parents when I was 40. I worked full time and had a 100mile/day commute. I did it for more than 10 years and it almost killed me. And I had a big house/yard to keep up with too. I managed to keep up with the basics but my parents had no life and did nothing. They honestly would have been much better off in AL where they would have had activities and other people around. Outings. Things to do.
I also started caregiving (parents) in my 30's. I did not have a child/relationship though, but had to stop working, so it really has devastated my life.
For what it I worth, you have my respect. I cared for one grandmother starting at 19 for 3 years and started caregiving for my other grandmother two years ago and that ended last July when I had a mental break. It was much harder than it seemed, for both times.
This is exactly what she needs. Good for both of you!
I started caring for my parents when I was 40. I worked full time and had a 100mile/day commute. I did it for more than 10 years and it almost killed me. And I had a big house/yard to keep up with too. I managed to keep up with the basics but my parents had no life and did nothing. They honestly would have been much better off in AL where they would have had activities and other people around. Outings. Things to do.
I certainly can agree with that. My elderly aunt insisted that she wanted to stay in her own home. She worked until she turned 80 years old and had a very active life. But, once she lost the ability to drive, in her middle 80s, she often went several days, or even a week, without even seeing another human being. Once she moved into assisted living and then into a family style nursing home she was a completely different woman again, laughing and joking and having fun with the other residents.
Even though she had a lot more health issues in her late 80s and early 90s she was playing games, watching movies, gossiping with friends, doing all kinds of activities, even helping in the kitchen (when she wanted to do that). She absolutely loved it. While she never really admitted it was a mistake to stay in her home so long it was pretty obvious that she was much, much happier when she was around other people.
For what it I worth, you have my respect. I cared for one grandmother starting at 19 for 3 years and started caregiving for my other grandmother two years ago and that ended last July when I had a mental break. It was much harder than it seemed, for both times.
It is so hard especially when one is so young and has either a family of their own or kids and then throw in a career, it is to much for most people.
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