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He will be 93 this year. He’s been on it for at least a year...maybe 2 years even. I really can’t remember. Both my parents started dialysis within a couple of months of each other.
He hates it...but he hates everything now and says he hurts all the time...he’s miserable. It will be much easier on my mom with him gone, emotionally, but financially it will leave her in a very bad way. They basically live off of their SS and his pension. That is what worries me the most about it, but I know it’s terrible to say that.
Would she not be eligible to receive part of his pension and his SS income when he is gone? My mother gets a generous share of both of my father's. (his is a federal govt pension)
Would she not be eligible to receive part of his pension and his SS income when he is gone? My mother gets a generous share of both of my father's. (his is a federal govt pension)
NO. Gov't pension - you must elect a survivor option - he did not. Another of his brilliant decisions.
Oh wow!! I don't know what to say. Can you stop payment somehow!?? Your mom must be beside herself. I had a feeling he wouldn't go through with the natural death. His type rarely do. What can you do though.??.. maybe get financial POA and take over all the accounts??? I feel so bad for you
I can't do a thing. Mom would have to try and have him declared incompetent, and that really would not happen. He is not "incompetent" - he is just a fool. Payment has already been made - 3 months ago. He hid the bill from her.
Why do so many men want to enhance their “little head” when it’s their big head that needs the enhancing?!
Could you talk your mother into opening a new bank account with just her name (and maybe yours) on it and not his? Then she could start transferring money over to it so your father’s financial foolishness can’t completely bankrupt her. It’s not a perfect solution by any means, but it’s better than nothing.
Oh hon, I'm sorry. I think it's time to go for guardianship. It's a hassle, but ... wow.
Nope. I’m not going there. I have a full-time job, and a relationship that is starting to crack due to this crap. I’m not about to take that on. If either of my siblings want to, they are welcome to do that.
Why do so many men want to enhance their “little head” when it’s their big head that needs the enhancing?!
Could you talk your mother into opening a new bank account with just her name (and maybe yours) on it and not his? Then she could start transferring money over to it so your father’s financial foolishness can’t completely bankrupt her. It’s not a perfect solution by any means, but it’s better than nothing.
That would’ve done nothing to prevent this. He took the money out of his very small retirement IRA, to pay for this. But, my brother did call him… And made a serious threat to have him declared incompetent. I’m hoping that will have some affect, at least. My brother said he thought dad sounded “ taken aback”...so maybe it will make him think. My dad knows exactly how much money they have...you know? He is very aware of the financial issues. He is just a really weird man...vain, loves the attention of attractive women, glares and shakes his head at obese women...and apparently still obsessed with his ( or lack of) sexual prowess. Kind of a hard man to like.
Last edited by ChessieMom; 05-24-2019 at 07:52 AM..
Would she not be eligible to receive part of his pension and his SS income when he is gone? My mother gets a generous share of both of my father's. (his is a federal govt pension)
Oh...I neglected to respond to the SS part of your question. She has her own SS...and it is much more than his. She was the main breadwinner. But SS is all she has. And SS ain’t much.
Oh...I neglected to respond to the SS part of your question. She has her own SS...and it is much more than his. She was the main breadwinner. But SS is all she has. And SS ain’t much.
I would focus only on your Mom. Your Dad has shown he is a piece of work. Would it be financially smart for her to seek a divorce? Can Dad run through any other assets?
I would focus only on your Mom. Your Dad has shown he is a piece of work. Would it be financially smart for her to seek a divorce? Can Dad run through any other assets?
Oh my gosh no. They are both too dependent on each other...financially and in every other way. Divorce is certainly not a solution. But I will be shocked if he is still alive for his next birthday. I just can’t believe he will last that long. Could he spend more? Sure. But honestly...the house is in our name so he can’t do anything with that. I’d love to take his name off the accounts...but then he would have to rely on my mom to givevhim spending money...and yeah no that’ll never work. LOL.
But I think my brother’s threat will make him think.
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