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I had to take my baby to the vet to be put to sleep. I thought the tears were over but I can't even see as I type this He went down hill so quick and we found more problems with him this monday at the vet. He had lost sight in one eye and had fluid in his lungs in addition to the diabetes, kidney infection and tumor on his toe. My vet felt he might have a couple of weeks left and I brought Titi home. Last night he took a turn for the worse. His breathing became labored and I really did not think he would make it till this morning. I tried to find a vet that would do an in home euthanasia and could not find one. I didn't want his last memory to be leaving his home and being in that cold, sterile environment. That is what bothers me the most. I wanted him to die at home with his buddies and us.
I stayed up with him all night and turned on the wood stove, his favorite place. It was horrible watching him struggle to breath while waiting for the vet office to open. This is the first time I had to make the choice of euthanasia. Even though I know he's not suffering I am having trouble with this. If I can offer advice to anyone out there...don't let it go on as long as I did...I was selfish and my baby suffered and he didn't deserve that. Titi was an awesome cat and I failed him. I will not do that again. I have 4 other fur babies who need me. I need to be there for them. I put them on the backburner since Titi first got sick with the diabetes in Feb.
(((Hugs to you))). I've had to do the exact same thing with one of my babies, and I know exactly how you feel. Try not to be so hard on yourself. .. It sounds to me that you took great care of your baby and comforted and took care of him in the best way possible. He knew you were up with him and had the wood stove on just for him.
Even though you had to leave the house with him, he knew YOU were with him and that brought all the comfort he needed....I understand your issue with having to take him to the vet.....I struggled with that too.
It does NOT sound to me like you failed him at all, don't even think that!......get those "what if's" out of your head. Let the tears come as they will, remember all the good times you and Titi had, remember some of the "bad" things that got 'ole Titi in trouble ....those times will make you smile).
You will find that your 4 other fur babies will comfort you and give you strength through this...they are so much more in tune to things than you realize. (((Hugs))) . Be gentle with yourself.
(((Hugs to you))). I've had to do the exact same thing with one of my babies, and I know exactly how you feel. Try not to be so hard on yourself. .. It sounds to me that you took great care of your baby and comforted and took care of him in the best way possible. He knew you were up with him and had the wood stove on just for him.
Even though you had to leave the house with him, he knew YOU were with him and that brought all the comfort he needed....I understand your issue with having to take him to the vet.....I struggled with that too.
It does NOT sound to me like you failed him at all, don't even think that!......get those "what if's" out of your head. Let the tears come as they will, remember all the good times you and Titi had, remember some of the "bad" things that got 'ole Titi in trouble ....those times will make you smile).
You will find that your 4 other fur babies will comfort you and give you strength through this...they are so much more in tune to things than you realize. (((Hugs))) . Be gentle with yourself.
I would have said something like this if I could type as eloquently as centre.
"We who choose to surround ourselves
with lives even more temporary than our
own, live within a fragile circle;
easily and often breached.
Unable to accept its awful gaps,
we would still live no other way.
We cherish memory as the only
certain immortality, never fully
understanding the necessary plan."
— Irving Townsend
I'm sorry about your cat. Just know that you did not fail him and you weren't selfish. You loved him, cared for him and were with him until he died. If anything, you wanted his passing to be as pleasant as his life. That's something unfortunately that we can't always control. You did the best you could, and he knows it.
"We who choose to surround ourselves
with lives even more temporary than our
own, live within a fragile circle;
easily and often breached.
Unable to accept its awful gaps,
we would still live no other way.
We cherish memory as the only
certain immortality, never fully
understanding the necessary plan."
— Irving Townsend
What a lovely poem just beautifull thanks for printing this .
I am so very sorry. My heart just aches for you. Please, I'm sure Titi knew he was loved until the very end, so don't be too hard on yourself. You did all that could be done. RIP Titi
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He went down hill so quick and we found more problems with him this monday at the vet. He had lost sight in one eye and had fluid in his lungs in addition to the diabetes, kidney infection and tumor on his toe. My vet felt he might have a couple of weeks left and I brought Titi home. Last night he took a turn for the worse. His breathing became labored and I really did not think he would make it till this morning. I tried to find a vet that would do an in home euthanasia and could not find one. I didn't want his last memory to be leaving his home and being in that cold, sterile environment. That is what bothers me the most. I wanted him to die at home with his buddies and us.
