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(Yes...equating North Jersey with NYC is a pet peeve of mine)
To the OP:
I miss my family terribly, as well as friends. I did not factor this into my move, six years ago.
I can visit NY, but I miss a lot by not living alongside friends/family. Kids grow up very fast.
I miss the ocean terribly too, as I used to sit on the ocean several times per week.
As I grew older, I also learned to adapt. If I had moved to Charlotte when I was in my 20's, the below features would've driven me nuts:
- A lack of Italian delicatessens and bakeries.
- Charlotte is a car centric City. Yes, I can live in a few sections of Charlotte and walk to conveniences, but the streetscape is nowhere near the same.
Charlotte's also different in that the culture of the traditional South has largely been eviscerated.
NYC has all of the world's cultures in equal proportions, with something for everyone. The South was settled by the Scottish/Irish, but their influence has dwindled in Charlotte. In it's place came an influence from Africa/Asia/Central America. All of this has it's benefits, but it's unusual to live in an area that is devoid of contemporary European influence - which NYC has.
If you're a New Yorker that's miserable not living in one of the five boroughs, you will not adjust to Charlotte.
If you're a person who lives on the North Shore of Long Island, or in Paramus, or Marlboro, or Manalapan, the adjustment to Charlotte is minimal and quick.
(Yes...equating North Jersey with NYC is a pet peeve of mine)
To the OP:
I miss my family terribly, as well as friends. I did not factor this into my move, six years ago.
I can visit NY, but I miss a lot by not living alongside friends/family. Kids grow up very fast.
I miss the ocean terribly too, as I used to sit on the ocean several times per week.
As I grew older, I also learned to adapt. If I had moved to Charlotte when I was in my 20's, the below features would've driven me nuts:
- A lack of Italian delicatessens and bakeries.
- Charlotte is a car centric City. Yes, I can live in a few sections of Charlotte and walk to conveniences, but the streetscape is nowhere near the same.
Charlotte's also different in that the culture of the traditional South has largely been eviscerated.
NYC has all of the world's cultures in equal proportions, with something for everyone. The South was settled by the Scottish/Irish, but their influence has dwindled in Charlotte. In it's place came an influence from Africa/Asia/Central America. All of this has it's benefits, but it's unusual to live in an area that is devoid of contemporary European influence - which NYC has.
If you're a New Yorker that's miserable not living in one of the five boroughs, you will not adjust to Charlotte.
If you're a person who lives on the North Shore of Long Island, or in Paramus, or Marlboro, or Manalapan, the adjustment to Charlotte is minimal and quick.
I have been here 32 yrs and still miss ALL the same things but NOW have to live with traffic gridlock, highest real estate prices out side of NYC, too. The only thing I truly like is the weather.
I have been here 32 yrs and still miss ALL the same things but NOW have to live with traffic gridlock, highest real estate prices out side of NYC, too. The only thing I truly like is the weather.
"The highest real estate prices out side of NYC"? You're kidding, right? That statement makes no sense.
Adjust to what? You've got basically everything here now. When I first moved here you could not get Boar's head, real pizza, nathans or even sabretts, taylor ham or a bagel. It's all here now. We're even going to have a toll road soon...
Very true. Funny thing is that down here, we thought that local brands of meat, pizzas, non-Kosher hot dowgs, and all other things that were here were excellent. It is all relative. They have some crappy pizza joints in NYC. I know, I lived there too. I enjoyed NYC, but come on, there is no place like home and if one can't understand that, they should never leave. I find that most people that move to Charlotte love it.
How can you compare NYC to New Jersey. NYC is a city. New Jersey is a state with different geographical and cultural differences. You have very rural parts of N.J. and very urban areas. We're talking apples and oranges.
Let me give you some advice to make your transition easy:
1) The locals or long time residents LOVE it when you tell them how things were in NY. If you have thought of a difference between wherever you are coming from and believe it to be superior (no matter validity), make sure and share your opinion. Everyone here loves it when someone moves and tells them how they have been doing it wrong here. There is utterly no reason, other than not hearing your opinion, that things are the way they are here.
2) People down here must be stupid due to the way they speak, so make sure and judge the heck out of them based on their accents. One reason the people here speak slow is so that you can interrupt them often. If you are both interrupting
AND sharing your opinion about how things were done better in NY, bonus points.
3) People down here must not know how to drive. be sure to show them by using your horn just like you're in NY and cutting people off.
4) Any time it threatens to snow and the community reacts due to lacking the equipment/staffing - just tell them how much snow you got in NY and how they don't know how to drive. tell as many people as you can that the community must just not be as smart or know how to do it as well in NY. (see #1)
5) If you go to the grocery and notice that it's not as crowded, and get a sense that people are aware of their surroundings/personal space, take that as a green light to cut in front of people and race them wherever you are going. Just because a small semblance of southern hospitality with regard to respect for others still survives, is no reason to not act like you're back in NYC. These hicks need to be shown how to get shopping done!
6) Assume that the public schools here are awful. Take any positivism re: CMS with a grain of salt but hang on dearly to the negative story your aunt told you who visited once. Schools must be bad here since everyone talks so slow and funny. This can relate to #1 as well.
7) Ask around for NY pizza, bagels, coffee, etc. instead of trying the establishments that have been in place for decades. No sense in trying anything new.
8) Buy a cookie cutter house in the middle of a field 20 miles or more outside town in an area with little traffic because you get so much more space for your dollar. Tell everyone back home about it.
8b) When more people move and drive on highways designed for interstate travel, congesting them with local commuters, complain because it's not your fault while you ironically, sit in traffic and contribute to congestion. Justify the time wasted by reminding yourself that you live in 1000 square feet more than you had in NY for the same price. Try to forget that you really don't need, or use, that space in your house. Try to forget about the cost of gas. Compare it to NY where the commute would be more time and you would have less space.
9) Don't adopt any of the local culture. Root for teams where you came from (these teams suck and have no history). Don't check out any local art (it is probably no good). Don't eat at any independent owned restaurants (probably run by slow talkers and don't have good cawfee or bahgels). Don't join a church or community group. If you do get involved in politics, refer to rule #1.
10) If you see someone holding a door for you, or making eye contact to say "thank you", "please", "Yes Sir", "Yes Ma'am", ignore their existence and stare into space as if confronted with a foreign language. Just because some relics attempt to be polite, they have obviously not evolved into the fast functioning, superior culture you brought from NY.
11) If you have an experience in life, then it must apply to all people in that area. It doesn't matter if statistics prove your experience was an anomoly, or if you are discounting how you behaved or were perceived. What only matters is your perception. Now apply the self-centered conclusion to the situation to all other aspects of your life and spread the word.
That's a bit all for now. Enjoy your time here and bless your heart.
In all seriousness - I hope you enjoy it here. Charlotte is a great place to live due to and despite all of the transplants. We certainly owe a good bit of our economic growth and diversity of art/food/culture to the population growth. There's a bit of truth in every stereotype, but I believe that accepting everyone and celebrating our strengths is the path to a more integrated and successful community. Make it your own!
How long did it take you to adjust to living in CLT? Did anyone return to NYC/NJ?
I'm not from NY/NJ but just moved here just over 5 months ago from the Midwest. I grew up in the South and have lived all over the South and Midwest for the past 25 or so years. I've moved 10 times in 27 years and have found this the absolute hardest adjustment ever. It's been an amazingly stressful move, and I am trying to figure out why this one tops all. I surmise it is because:
1. I have to drive SO far to get to the things I do. I am used to having everything pretty much within 10 minutes.
2. Traffic is a nightmare - MOST of the time (and I have lived in cities bigger than Charlotte). It's just car after car after car - all hours of the day!
3. My expectations were to be in the South, but Charlotte is NOTHING like the South to me. Personally, I don't even see any remnants of it.
4. The WEATHER. Good grief! The humidity! (And I have lived in Houston, Memphis, Knoxville, and St. Louis). Will it EVER cool off? Is there any such thing as FALL? I curl my hair, go out, and immediately look like a wet dog. Frustrating. I miss fall and the snow (or I will when winter arrives).
5. I have only met one person from Charlotte since moving here well over 5 months ago. EVERYONE is from NY/NJ/PA!!! What is up with that? Where did the locals go? (In contrast, in St. Louis virtually EVERYONE is from there-which was also annoying since they didn't like outsiders). A little balance would be good. And I haven't found people to be very friendly or engaging. Maybe that is just society as a whole these days.
6. My husband's job. As soon as he walked into his new office when arrived it became a nightmare. Boss from hell (new boss), no work/life balance (12 hour days and some weekends), and on and on. I could go on about this, but won't bore anyone. Just note that not only will she throw employees under the bus, she will also back up to make sure the job is done!
7. I have to add a blurb about the bugs. GROSS! (But not Houston gross). I will never adjust to that.
8. Everything is so car-centric.
9. No bike lanes on the streets and there is a great lack of biking paths (like Madison, WI).
We haven't had a chance to adjust because of my husband's job. It doesn't feel like home at all, but hopefully we will have the chance to adjust and it will. I'm very hopeful. And I hope you can adjust also. Remember, though, there truly is NO PLACE like home. After living in Madison, WI for 13 years (where all of my kids were born and the longest I've lived anywhere), I long for it everyday. Not a perfect place, but I will always consider it home, and I will always miss it.
Location: The place where the road & the sky collide
23,814 posts, read 34,670,113 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gypsyjudy
I'm not from NY/NJ but just moved here just over 5 months ago from the Midwest. I grew up in the South and have lived all over the South and Midwest for the past 25 or so years. I've moved 10 times in 27 years and have found this the absolute hardest adjustment ever. It's been an amazingly stressful move, and I am trying to figure out why this one tops all. I surmise it is because:
1. I have to drive SO far to get to the things I do. I am used to having everything pretty much within 10 minutes.
2. Traffic is a nightmare - MOST of the time (and I have lived in cities bigger than Charlotte). It's just car after car after car - all hours of the day!
3. My expectations were to be in the South, but Charlotte is NOTHING like the South to me. Personally, I don't even see any remnants of it.
4. The WEATHER. Good grief! The humidity! (And I have lived in Houston, Memphis, Knoxville, and St. Louis). Will it EVER cool off? Is there any such thing as FALL? I curl my hair, go out, and immediately look like a wet dog. Frustrating. I miss fall and the snow (or I will when winter arrives).
5. I have only met one person from Charlotte since moving here well over 5 months ago. EVERYONE is from NY/NJ/PA!!! What is up with that? Where did the locals go? (In contrast, in St. Louis virtually EVERYONE is from there-which was also annoying since they didn't like outsiders). A little balance would be good. And I haven't found people to be very friendly or engaging. Maybe that is just society as a whole these days.
6. My husband's job. As soon as he walked into his new office when arrived it became a nightmare. Boss from hell (new boss), no work/life balance (12 hour days and some weekends), and on and on. I could go on about this, but won't bore anyone. Just note that not only will she throw employees under the bus, she will also back up to make sure the job is done!
7. I have to add a blurb about the bugs. GROSS! (But not Houston gross). I will never adjust to that.
8. Everything is so car-centric.
9. No bike lanes on the streets and there is a great lack of biking paths (like Madison, WI).
We haven't had a chance to adjust because of my husband's job. It doesn't feel like home at all, but hopefully we will have the chance to adjust and it will. I'm very hopeful. And I hope you can adjust also. Remember, though, there truly is NO PLACE like home. After living in Madison, WI for 13 years (where all of my kids were born and the longest I've lived anywhere), I long for it everyday. Not a perfect place, but I will always consider it home, and I will always miss it.
Good luck to you!
Well, you're in Union County. The transplants overran the natives. For years, the natives on the board have referred to where you're at as the cow pastures. I'm 30 miles west of Charlotte. I see natives constantly. The transplants here are mostly from South Jersey & Philadelphia. The next tier down, in numbers, is the Midwest & Upstate NY. It's a different mix.
Well, you're in Union County. The transplants overran the natives. For years, the natives on the board have referred to where you're at as the cow pastures. I'm 30 miles west of Charlotte. I see natives constantly. The transplants here are mostly from South Jersey & Philadelphia. The next tier down, in numbers, is the Midwest & Upstate NY. It's a different mix.
Yeah, she moved to a brand new cookie cutter subdivision of cheap homes in fields in Union County almost in Monroe and is surprised everybody in the neighborhood is like her and moved from elsewhere to a cookie cutter home in a field in Union County. If she was in neighborhoods that were more established and actually in Charlotte she might have more of the amenities she is used to. Likely a bit of buyer's remorse and a good example of why many buyers should rent for a year to get to know the area and the places they like to shop, eat, play, etc.... The equivalent distance they are outside of Charlotte in the Madison, WI area is completely cow fields like Basco, WI ; Cross Plain, WI, etc.... For being that far out, they are lucky they even have the movie theater in Sun Valley for being out in the outer country suburbs. Most Charlotte residents do nothing more than drive through the area she lives to get to Wilmington and the coast. I wouldn't like it there either.
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That statement makes no sense.
