Is Chicago truly friendly?? (Detroit: neighborhood, luxury, live in)

[MuffinGuy]

Originally Posted by downtownnola

My whole point is that Chicagoans on the average in my observation, seem a little more closed off than some other cities.

What other cities are you using to compare, just curious? Are they other "big cities," or are you talking about significantly smaller cities? The reason I ask is because all the big cities in the northeast (Boston, NYC, Philadelphia, DC) have similar, though different, unfriendly stereotypes. Seattle has a similar Boston-like unfriendly stereotype, but only applied to women for some reason. LA's stereotype is it is unfriendly to the those not successfully putting on a big show/image, with good looks backing it up. And I know from experience that the south (such as Dallas and Houston) most definitely has that "fake friendliness" that you feel you are constantly encountering in Chicago. Are there any big cities that do not have this stereotype in one form or another lol?

[downtownnola]

Originally Posted by marothisu

I've traveled around the world a lot - it truly depends on where you are, the time of day, etc in MANY places. I've not encountered many places where people were just going around seemingly extremely happy no matter what. Best example I've found was in the British Virgin Islands.

With that being said - the only time I see real downtrodden people are when it's around offices during work hours (mainly on the way to work or when people are coming home). Or when it's really cold/crappy out. I know the weather has taken a toll on people. Realize we just got out of the single worst winter in recorded history for Chicago. And while we've had some good days lately, it's still behind what it should be.

On the other hand, I see people quite often smiling and laughing whenever I go out to eat at the more popular bars/clubs/lounges and restaurants. However, I still don't think you have thought about it too much. You say "life's not that bad." What gives you the right to decide this for other people again? Again, there's 2.7 million people in this city + visitors. Not everyone functions the same way in life, and not everyone has the same **** going on. Again, friendliness has nothing to do with smiling at you (example) in public. Just because someone doesn't show this doesn't mean they're unfriendly.

I know where you're coming from. And, I agree that not everyone has the same way of showing friendliness. When I say, "life's not that bad," I mean that it shouldn't be that bad. If it's bad for a seeming majority that I'm surrounded by, then that really says something about the environment that they're living in (the city of Chicago), don't you think? There actually are happy places on this planet. The world isn't perfect, but when you're surrounded by negative energy on an [almost] daily basis, doesn't it make you wonder about the environment you're in?

Again, to reiterate, this isn't a rant against Chicago. I think it's a really cool city. I'm just trying to dig deeper as to why the vibe here is so unfriendly.

[marothisu]

Originally Posted by downtownnola

I know where you're coming from. And, I agree that not everyone has the same way of showing friendliness. When I say, "life's not that bad," I mean that it shouldn't be that bad. If it's bad for a seeming majority that I'm surrounded by, then that really says something about the environment that they're living in (the city of Chicago), don't you think? There actually are happy places on this planet. The world isn't perfect, but when you're surrounded by negative energy on an [almost] daily basis, doesn't it make you wonder about the environment you're in?

Again, to reiterate, this isn't a rant against Chicago. I think it's a really cool city. I'm just trying to dig deeper as to why the vibe here is so unfriendly.

Well let me restate it. Life doesn't have to be bad for you to be angry. My grandfather died yesterday morning - but my life is great. Does that mean I have no right to go around and kind of not want to talk to anybody? That's my point - at that particular moment, you don't know what people are going through. Whatever minor things in their life that may not matter that much in the end - most people (in the world for this fact) are short term in their anger/sadness. They're going to show it regardless of whether they care about it or not 5 days from now because most people don't think about the big picture. Humans by nature are "greedy."

Now, I don't think that tons of people are going through this, but some definitely are. For me especially when I'm coming home and on the train, I am so mentally drained it's not even funny. But as has been said here - people may be more conservative in how they show things. Before a year ago, I hardly ever smiled at any stranger on the street. In fact, I hardly ever started a conversation with a stranger at the grocery store. It's not because I'm not friendly - it's because I just didn't want to or thought it would be really awkward. Funny thing is that I'm very outgoing usually, but still don't find the need to do this stuff. I'm better about it now though. Someone stated it well before - if you talk to a stranger in Chicago, they will more likely than not actually talk back to you.

Funny thing is that I was in Rome a little less than 2 months ago. The people there are very much like what you are describing. I've definitely seen it here, don't get me wrong, but at the end of the day it doesn't weigh so much on me. I know that everyone is different and that when I go out to a bar/club/restaurant/whatever, I see people with their friends wherever, they're usually laughing and having a good time. I don't know where you're going when you go out, but whenever I go out especially to a restaurant with a lot of people - I see a lot more happiness than non-happiness. If you don't see this then I don't know what to tell you.

[marothisu]

I will also say that once it's nicer out on a more regular basis, people will be seemingly happier. I think a lot of people are PO'd that it's May and still in the 50s most days and cloudy.

[probablyimnotsure]

I think the OP is looking for "laid-back" type of people. People that are laid-back generally come off as happier. At least that's what I'm getting.

[kyle242]

I went to school and worked internship in Chicago for a few years. My experience may have to do with me rather being a foreigner and generally outsider to Americans-Chicagoans than local culture. But many people I have met in school, were really not from Chicago but Chicago suburbs and downstate, Iowa, Michigan, Wisconsin. In the beginning people I have met from Iowa, downstate appeared right away downright friendly but ignored me later because they found I am gay. Those I met from suburbs were not right away friendly at first but I have been able to maintain contact with them for longer. And when I met people more alike me (gay, gay friendly, liberal, etc) I could not make lasting connection with them because they judged me on lack of pimpness (not tall six pack abs type) and being Polish (speaking with heavy accent). Even Polish people I met in Chicago were not on the same level I would meet in Poland because most were born here or grew up here since childhood adapting to American society better.

After I moved to California/Bay Area, I noticed here people in general more laid back and more friendly. Also my accent here seems to less matter here, because there is a lot of foreigners here too. However, I am taking course that teaches me techniques in correct pronunciation of certain sounds, especially those difficult to foreigners like "th", "n nasal", "ou".
I have met a share of rude people here too. But in general I found outside, in bars, it is little easier to strike up a random conversation with a stranger in a "small" city like San Jose (I call it "small", because it does not have a big night life) than San Francisco or Chicago.

As for perceived gay friendliness, I noticed it more in Bay Area (SF) and LA than Chicago. In Fact, in WeHo (LA) some gay bars have almost half of patrons who are straight due to their popularity. You won't get that in Castro (SF) or Boystown (Chicago).

[Nafster]

Reading the OP's past posts - it seems that he/she is suffering from deeper issues. As with any city - personal issues can interfere with the overall environment.

Advice: Open up a bit, get help, and then accept your situation and see how perhaps YOU are affecting your overall feelings.

[Lollapalooza773]

I say yeah, I have my few experience with friendly people here

[mjtinmemphis]

Originally Posted by kyle242

I went to school and worked internship in Chicago for a few years. My experience may have to do with me rather being a foreigner and generally outsider to Americans-Chicagoans than local culture. But many people I have met in school, were really not from Chicago but Chicago suburbs and downstate, Iowa, Michigan, Wisconsin. In the beginning people I have met from Iowa, downstate appeared right away downright friendly but ignored me later because they found I am gay. Those I met from suburbs were not right away friendly at first but I have been able to maintain contact with them for longer. And when I met people more alike me (gay, gay friendly, liberal, etc) I could not make lasting connection with them because they judged me on lack of pimpness (not tall six pack abs type) and being Polish (speaking with heavy accent). Even Polish people I met in Chicago were not on the same level I would meet in Poland because most were born here or grew up here since childhood adapting to American society better.

After I moved to California/Bay Area, I noticed here people in general more laid back and more friendly. Also my accent here seems to less matter here, because there is a lot of foreigners here too. However, I am taking course that teaches me techniques in correct pronunciation of certain sounds, especially those difficult to foreigners like "th", "n nasal", "ou".
I have met a share of rude people here too. But in general I found outside, in bars, it is little easier to strike up a random conversation with a stranger in a "small" city like San Jose (I call it "small", because it does not have a big night life) than San Francisco or Chicago.

As for perceived gay friendliness, I noticed it more in Bay Area (SF) and LA than Chicago. In Fact, in WeHo (LA) some gay bars have almost half of patrons who are straight due to their popularity. You won't get that in Castro (SF) or Boystown (Chicago).

Wow. I have never had an issue with people finding out I'm gay and having an issue with me.

I met an Asian guy from Toronto who had the same issue that you have. He spoke very clear English but would get treated "funky" mostly from the guys in the gay community. He had a difficult time in the dating scene. After a few years he moved back to Toronto because he felt better about his day to day experience.

Different cities have different vibes when it comes to the friendly thing. Sometimes your experience will be determined by ethnicity and to a lesser extent lifestyle. As much as we want to think everyone is treated the same and will have a good experience in Chicago, it doesn't work that way. Good luck.

[Longford]

Originally Posted by downtownnola

Don't get me wrong... I've met some really nice people here. But with that said, why are there hordes of bitter, angry and miserable people in this city?

The city you've experienced isn't the one I experience on a daily basis. I think we get back from people what we give to them. Bad vibes and negative attitudes often result in people bouncing that back.

In your experience, have you found Chicagoans to be friendly?

Very much so. I've lived in Chicago, Toronto, Tucson, Des Moines, Los Angeles, Detroit and Mexico City. I travel internationally as well as in the USA, also. I don't think I've encountered people in any of these other places who are more friendly than the people I've interacted with and observed here in Chicago.