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Just as God bring us friends in our lives for a Season, I also think God can bring us to certain churches for a season of time and then move us somewhere else. I don't believe in church hopping, but I do believe that my husband feels betrayed by a few things i HAD mentioned in the above thread. We may talk to the elder and see if anything improves. I am also concerned that this church is small and not a lot of kids and teens for our kids to make more friends with. So, there are a few reasons we may move on to another church. We waited until after Christmas, because we didn't think that during the holiday season is a good time to make a change. However, I could have been wrong. We may try another new church tomorrow or talk to the elder at our present church. Keep you posted.
Forgot to mention the present church is a very small (only 30 people), the pastors are new for less than a year (new to pastoring), and they had talked to my husband about being a deacon about 6 mths ago, when we had given a lot of time and we were on fire. We also brought some friends to the church, and we gave new bibles to the church, helped families in need. I also have done the bulletins every week at no charge for reimbursement. We helped with VBS and supplied crafts which cost hundreds of dollars. We feel unappreciated and taken advantage of. I think I would feel more at peace if we talk to the elder before looking to move on.
I couldn't help but listen to what you are stating about all that you gave to this church
and I pray that this will not cloud your judgment in decided whether to go or stay.
When I give I give to the kingdom for the purpose of advancing it only, if the local church
seems to be unappreciative and indifferent, this can be painful, but please forget about what you gave. Only the Lord will bless you if you gave out of pure and honest motives.
By the pastors being fairly new to this ministry about a year or so, speaks volumes.
Look at the fruit, if they are bearing good fruit that is usually indicative of a ministry that need time to grow. If the fruit is bad then you have your answer.
I personally feel that there are way to many people that start ministries on their on
wills and God did not send them to always start a church. we are all ministers of the gospel, some of us have poor people (PR) skills and can't handle these type of dynamics that sheparding entail. just as there are a lot of fleshy people that have not
sanctified or consecrated themselves to the Lord. and some are in it just to be in the spotlight as much as i hate to say it, But the Apostle Paul is my witness, he had a time with the churches.
I would pray that the Holy Spirit would give me discernment as what I should do.
I have a difficult time with indifference and lack of love in the local churches, a pastor is called to be a servant and lead as Jesus Christ led his disciples , line upon line, precept upon precept(that's the only way that I can explain it).
I will keep you in my prayers as well through this difficult transition., if you're like me you dislike thinking the worst in people, but I was told to see people for what they are
after giving them the benefit of the doubt and let God do the rest.
God Bless You
Last edited by yhwhshalomjr; 12-27-2008 at 10:59 PM..
I know the obvious answer is "when God directs you to do so." But what would you consider some of the signs that the Lord may want you to move on? And obviously, if there is wrongdoing or major disagreement with leadership, those kind of things would kind of be a deal breaker for sure, but what if you're not happy with things but it's not "integrity issues?" When do you leave and when do you just kinda "hunker down" and see what happens?
Any thoughts? Have you ever left a church and gone to another one?
Hello kaykay......Everyday is not a wonderful day......but today is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!. ...This is what I had to say to myself continually, over and over and over, to keep my "sensitive" self from crying in front of the person whom "I felt" was picking on me at church. This person happered to be the wife of my pastor. She also leads the Worship Ensamble of which I am the alto singer...she is the independant type, kinda cold, but could be warm on occassion, usually pretty "cool" though, not the type of person you would go up to and just start chatting with...you just got that message from her. She admitted one Saturday afternoon, at a Ladies church function, that she didn't like women. She said it to get laughs, kinda like, "...oh..women are so silly", only she actually said she, "didn't like women". It got laughs...from everyone but me...because I knew how much her actions toward me,, and some of the things she'd say to me, or some of the ways she would treat me..which were very different from the way she would speak to, or treat others who may have been present at the time...now, in saying this, I must also say that she loves the Lord with all of her heart, and is a great support of our pastor who I dearly love, and they love each other very, very much..and she didn't treat everyone like this...and I know God loves her dearly, AND she is the one who also asked me to sing the alto part in the Ensamble, which was a wonderful thing (for me) for her to do, and when ever we were alone, doing whatever at church, she would talk to me in a very concerning way, but I always felt that I only received kind treatment from her when she needed me to do something for her. ! Over the span of about 3 years of this...(and me repeating every uplifting, encouraging verse I could pull out of my brain; praying to God all the way home, with tears flowing from my eyes,) (Sometimes I could hardly see the road in front of me for the tears), 4 different people left the church, all at different times because of this same conflct they would have with her also. A couple of times I too thought about quitting this church...but the Lord would not let me! Church is so much more than just "going"...we have to "BE" the church...thank you Jesus...We have to BE the church...in our hearts...LOVE...JOY...PEACE...FORGIVENESS...MEEKNE SS, PATIENCE...LONGSUFFERING...TEMPERANCE...and "seeing" the eyes of Jesus in the face of these our brothers and sisters in Christ...I know now that the Lord placed her in my life to help fine tune these fruits in me...and now...her and I are becoming very close...genuinely so...and God has and is answering all of my prayers concerning our relationship with one another. The value of a relationship that starts out rough, but ends up smooth because you didn't lean upon your own understanding, but instead leaned upon the Love of God and His Word and promises made to you... is well..more valuable than anything else in the world. I am so thankful that I hung in there, and didn't give up! I have the power and the blessing of God in my life! He delivered me from being so "sensative"...Love
Last edited by Verna Perry; 12-28-2008 at 03:53 PM..
When I first accepted Christ into my life, and acknowledged that he existed, I hopped around various protestant church's. Went to a couple mega-style church's. I always felt like they were all missing something though.
Don't get me wrong, the passion was there. The fiery passion, and I have an appreciation for that. But when I first went to Catholic mass, I knew something was different. I wasn't just hearing scripture, I was receiving Christ physically into my body! The Eucharist, the most beautiful of all the sacraments, can be taken everyday and it is the physical essence of Jesus entering my soul. Transubstantiation.
I felt like I knew where I had to be. I felt home. I have never been back to a protestant church since.
In fact, once I decided I was going to become Catholic and started RCIA, it started off as just something I wanted to do at first. But then I became interested in the theology of the Church, and how it compared to protestant denominations. Remember, at this time I was not vehemently pro-Catholic. I was still weak-minded, and could have easily of converted. But the more I read, the more I realized how warped protestants changed scripture to suit their own anti-Catholic purposes. And that was when I no longer became just a Christian, but I became an apologist for Christ and his holy wife, the Church.
I think you need to find a church where you are growing and learning. Then you need to have a church that shares and gives out to others. It's hard since churches are just made up of us sinful people and problems are always there. I just know that Satan wants to cause problems with the believers.
We have struggled with our church since we feel the music is way too loud. Several have ear plugs. A group of us have really worked but with not much success. I love the body of believers and I feel that really give out to the community. I'm on the mission's committee and I feel so strongly about what we are doing.
So I'm sort of giving up and joining the ear plug group. My small group is wonderful and I have learned so much from that group. Sometimes you just have to adjust and put aside things that really shouldn't be deal breakers.
Tomorrow we are meeting with the pastors and elders of the district. Last Sun., after service we asked the elder if we can talk so my husband and i went in her office, and my husband and i had
explained to her that we were disappointed that after only missing one worship team practice, we were replaced and not told of the new practices. This was all too disappointing because my husband and son kevin were playing guitars and I was sining background with a friend, who told me she would only be on the team if I was...this friend didn't keep her word. we are meeting with the pastors tomorrow, after we had written a letter to the bishop. We're hoping they will offer a solution or atleast sensitivity and understanding of our pain. We're not sure if we're staying athis church or not, and after the meeting tomorrow we'll think it thru. God bless you all.
Tomorrow we are meeting with the pastors and elders of the district. Last Sun., after service we asked the elder if we can talk so my husband and i went in her office, and my husband and i had
explained to her that we were disappointed that after only missing one worship team practice, we were replaced and not told of the new practices. This was all too disappointing because my husband and son kevin were playing guitars and I was sining background with a friend, who told me she would only be on the team if I was...this friend didn't keep her word. we are meeting with the pastors tomorrow, after we had written a letter to the bishop. We're hoping they will offer a solution or atleast sensitivity and understanding of our pain. We're not sure if we're staying athis church or not, and after the meeting tomorrow we'll think it thru. God bless you all.
Hello c.tucker......I am very sorry to hear your story. It does not sound like you are the reason for this happening to you...but maybe it is something that you have no control over...you are being treated wrongly...I hope everything works out well for you...pray and seek guidance from the Lord...He will lead you...Have peace in your heart no matter what happens, o.k.? Jesus loves you!...Love.
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...but today is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!. 
...This is what I had to say to myself continually, over and over and over, to keep my "sensitive" self from crying in front of the person whom "I felt" was picking on me at church. This person happered to be the wife of my pastor. She also leads the Worship Ensamble of which I am the alto singer...she is the independant type, kinda cold, but could be warm on occassion, usually pretty "cool" though, not the type of person you would go up to and just start chatting with...you just got that message from her. She admitted one Saturday afternoon, at a Ladies church function, that she didn't like women. She said it to get laughs, kinda like, "...oh..women are so silly", only she actually said she, "didn't like women". It got laughs...from everyone but me...because I knew how much her actions toward me,, and some of the things she'd say to me, or some of the ways she would treat me..which were very different from the way she would speak to, or treat others who may have been present at the time...now, in saying this, I must also say that she loves the Lord with all of her heart, and is a great support of our pastor who I dearly love, and they love each other very, very much..and she didn't treat everyone like this...and I know God loves her dearly, AND she is the one who also asked me to sing the alto part in the Ensamble, which was a wonderful thing (for me) for her to do, and when ever we were alone, doing whatever at church, she would talk to me in a very concerning way, but I always felt that I only received kind treatment from her when she needed me to do something for her. 
and problems are always there. I just know that Satan wants to cause problems with the believers. 
My small group is wonderful and I have learned so much from that group. Sometimes you just have to adjust and put aside things that really shouldn't be deal breakers.
