Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I will try to summarize my story as much as I can here but overall, I want to say that as a 21 year old I feel like my life is literally over or headed in a really bad direction. My college experience has been socially and academically a big mess.
So I started out at a local commuter campus after finishing high school with a 3.6 GPA and a 2210 SAT score. Due to a mother that had a severe case of empty nest syndrome and an overbearing father who was paranoid about me going away to college and doing something crazy, I decided to accept the full ride to my commuter campus.
Well, I lacked the testicles to stand up for myself against my overbearing father who pushed me to be a pre-med and major in chemistry. A year into college I finish with a 2.8 and lose my scholarship which was a full ride, my father keeps pushing me into chemistry saying "at least you'll have a job and not end up unemployed like those liberal arts kids". College was bad for me socially too at that point since I was a commuter who lived at home with my overbearing parents.
After 2 years and a 3.1 GPA, I said enough, transferred to my state flagship. Living with parents while going to college was insane and my overbearing parents were driving me crazy with their bickering and constantly putting me down. We got into arguments every single time and it was distracting me from my academics. My parents have always sheltered me, micromanaged my life even when I strongly opposed it, and now it was just getting out of hand. I had enough and I would constantly fight them as much as I could to earn my freedom, they finally gave in.
I would slowly fight to break free from my overbearing father for a long time. I arrive at my state flagship and man it was a breath of freedom, I was finally on my own but my parents paid for college, not letting me apply for scholarships or take out any loans.
Unfortunately, at the state flagship, things went from bad to worse. After being home schooled in my adolescence and having to commute to campus, I finally snapped. I felt like I had to live life and enjoy the college experience while being a pre-med at a much more difficult university. Most nights I spent drinking, going out to bars, and getting wasted during that time. I got on academic probation after a year there and it took 2 semesters for me to pull myself out. I accept full responsibility for this mistake I made and I am a semester away from graduating college.
For the past 2 semesters I have pulled 3.5s and my overall GPA at my current university is a 2.3.
Med school is never happening and neither is any professional school.
I have no interest in science anymore but seeing that I am a semester away from graduating, I have no prospects for life after college.
I could move back home and my dad said that he can easily hook me up with a lab tech job but other than that I feel like I wasted my college years.
I have been depressed (most of it my own fault) and I have a poor GPA to show for it.
At 21, I feel like if I do not take action now, I will end up an unemployed homeless person for the rest of my life. My interests lie in finance, they always have, but I was pushed into medicine which I have no interest in.
What is it I can do to repair my life now? I feel like I have dug myself into a hole I will never climb out of. My college career began as hell and will end that way.
I agree with the above poster. Also, if it interests you, you could become a certified financial planner. To begin the two year program you can have a bachelors degree in just about anything. www.cfp.net
While you're studying for your certification you can also take courses to get your degree in finance. Your life, and especially your academic life, is far from over. Good luck.
I think it is time for you to stand up to your father and let him know how you feel. Tell him that your heart is in finance, and that you never were interested in science. Explain to him that this caused you problems in school, and that if you are not allowed to change your major, things will not go well. Be open to your parents for God's sake!
Before you do this though, you better have a plan. That plan is to explore your options at your current school in terms of changing majors or an alternative program someplace else. You must have a plan. Otherwise, your parents may shoot you down.
Time to grow up, take charge of your life, and this starts with figuring out what you want and how to get there, then confronting your father.
what would happen if I just got my degree this fall and finished college already? I don't want to be in college any longer after this coming semester....
Maybe you need to take some time to work at a regular job (not necessarily a career job), take a break from school, and engage the services of a social worker or therapist to help you figure out your personal direction. 21 years of age is young, and you can wait a few years before committing to a specific career. It sounds like you need to take care of your personal situation first, at a distance from your parents, and maybe grow in other ways beyond the classroom. Try to live life for a couple of years, with no strings attached to anything in particular; that may well help you figure out what to do in life.
In a few years, once you've worked things out a bit better at the personal/family level, and once you've had other experiences, maybe you'll know what you really want to do. You can always go back to school and solidify your work in science, or maybe you'll find a passion for something else that you've hesitated to explore because of your family.
But it sounds like you're not ready to commit to a career yet. Work out the baggage first, make a little money to support yourself, and you'll eventually figure yourself out a bit better. You have time on your side.
I will try to summarize my story as much as I can here but overall, I want to say that as a 21 year old I feel like my life is literally over or headed in a really bad direction. My college to worse. After being home schooled in my adolescence and having to commute to campus, I finally
What is it I can do to repair my life now? I feel like I have dug myself into a hole I will never climb out of. My college career began as hell and will end that way.
You may be what they refer to as "a bad egg." No matter how much they tried to direct you in some direction, and, no matter how seemingly qualified you were to pursue that, you simply partied yourself out of it. A bad egg will do this. They pay dearly for it.
This is nothing new. My oldest brother did exactly the same thing, like, 55 years ago.
The important part is that it took another 10 years for him to get his head screwed on right. He did OK after that. Pretty much succeeded in doing what he originally set out to do, in fact. But worked doubly hard and for twice as long to get there. And pure luck played a major part.
But like you, he did the party, party, party through his undergrad years, and nobody could tell him otherwise.
He spent over 10 years at menial jobs (in a day when there were lots of menial jobs - not like today).
I really don't know what you can do. Your GPA for these days is abysmal. But just remember one thing: you did it to yourself; totally and entirely. Don't even dare to blame anybody else for what happened.
Finish that degree for petesakes! (Are you nuts?) Then fix up a nice corner in ma & pa's basement; stay out of their way. Cut the grass and stuff like that without them even asking. And go find a job. The lab tech job is just fine. Go for it, and go for it with all the ebullience you can muster. Hope for connections - because for people like you, that's what counts - not your GPA. capiche?. (That, by the way is what happened in my brother's case. Times haven't changed where that's concerned.) In any event, maybe one day you can be a salesman selling pipettes or something.
Last edited by TwinbrookNine; 07-04-2015 at 10:09 PM..
You are a semester away from graduating. Why in the world would you drop out? Horrible advice. Have you been taking advantage of your university's mental health counseling center? It sounds like you need it.
You may be what they refer to as "a bad egg." No matter how much they tried to direct you in some direction, and, no matter how seemingly qualified you were to pursue that, you simply partied yourself out of it. A bad egg will do this.
You are NOT a bad egg and don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise! You are NOT responsible for the hopes and dreams of your parents! They did you no favors by forcing you into a career path that you had no interest in. To me that's just the epitome of pure selfishness. (BTW--this is a 64 yr. old mother of 2 twenty-somethings speaking here)
Quote:
Finish that degree for petesakes!
Yes DO finish that degree now--you are sooo close and you have nothing to lose. At least you will have a college diploma under your belt. This will show a potential employer that you are committed and can follow through.
Quote:
Then fix up a nice corner in ma & pa's basement
Don't walk--RUN--as fast as you can and get out of town! The longer you stay under your parents' thumb the more miserable and depressed you will be. Get a job, a place of your own or get a roommate or 2 and save a little money. The more you do for yourself the better you will feel. If college is all paid for and you have no debt you can go anywhere, do anything. Take some time off and travel a bit. This will give you a fresh perspective.
If you are interested in finance start by becoming an entry level bank teller (or comparable position) to get your feet wet and pay the bills (and get benefits!--yes, that's the "mom" in me talking here) Yeah, being low man on totem pole will be crappy, but at least you'll be in your element and the experience will teach you a thing or two. Then you can work at becoming a financial planner or go back to college to get an MBA in business or accounting-these are probably the most flexible college programs out there. You might wind up in a situation where your employer will chip in for your education (pay close attention to those benies!) And don't worry--your degree in chemistry won't be wasted. It may come in handy down the road in ways you've never dreamed. The most important thing is to stay focused and strive for what you love. If it turns out that finance isn't your bag the experience will not be wasted. Life has a way of putting you in the right place at the right time provided you follow YOUR instincts.
In terms of making "bad choices"--let those who have NEVER EVER made a bad decision in their lifetime cast the first stone. By all means, do. What--no takers?? Truth is, we've all done stupid stuff. This is how we learn. Be VERY grateful that your stupidity didn't land you in jail, the hospital or worse. Now dust yourself off, quit feeling sorry for yourself and strive to do better.
Kid #2 (21 yrs.old) is going through a particularly tough time right now. I told her that her 20s will probably be the most difficult decade of her life. The world tells you you're an adult now so you should have it all together, but deep inside you're still a 12 year old kid and scared sh_tless. Be comforted in knowing that you are not the only person in the universe feeling this way, and that you WILL make it through OK. I PROMISE you it gets easier--but it might get worse before it gets better. Sometimes the only thing you can do is just roll with it. But that's OK--just have faith in yourself and DO NOT become your own worst enemy.
Life is not a test--it's an adventure--and you only get one shot at it so make it meaningful to YOU!
Last edited by Daisy Grey; 07-04-2015 at 11:42 PM..
It sounds like you are an over-privileged, spoiled, and sheltered brat to me. You father "refused" to let you take out loans and "forced" you to accepted tens of thousands of dollars? Oh the horror!!
You were given a great opportunity and you blew it. Either way, you won't have the burden of student loans. It also sounds like your father is well connected as he can easily get you a lab tech job. Believe it or not, lab tech jobs are actually very competitive because there are countless people like you that decided to get a bachelor's in biology, chemistry, etc. because they wanted to go to med school, but never actually so they apply to be lab techs to try to put their degree to use.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
