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I'm retired now and my 3 children all graduated from college. I paid for the entire amount. And yes, they are grateful.
But I met an unemployed 42 year old father yesterday who is a college graduate and has two daughters aged 9 and 11. I had offered to give him some advice about how to find a job.
When I asked him about college plans he went off on a rant about "liberal colleges" and said his kids don't need to go to college.
I think that was just his way to rationalize the fact that he has likely saved zero for their education and he had no intention of paying for it.
I also noticed that he drove off in a 2015 Mustang GT.
I bet he is heading for a major marital problem if his wife does not agree.
Should parents be required to pay for college? Or can they opt out?
I can see your point, OP. You're saying he clearly had the money to pay for at least one kid's college, and he blew it on a cool car for himself. If parents can afford it, they should help their kids out with college expenses. It's getting harder to do these days, due to rising tuitions. But if they can help their kid avoid crushing student loan debt, IMO they "should" do it. But parents are humans, and humans come in all different stripes and psychologies. Some are irresponsible, others don't make enough to be able to help. So there's no universal rule. Kids have to do the best they can.
I think what parents definitely should do is foster good study practices while kids are in school, and hold college as a desirable goal for the kid, communicate the value of education. Unless the child shows talent in a trade, like carpentry, electrical, or whatever. Parents should do their best to set a kid up for scholastic success. That, in turn, would help the child qualify for merit-based scholarships, at least, and give the kids some determination to get through school on their own and make the most of the experience.
I live in Colorado Springs where there are quite a few religious nuts.
My problem is they don't practice what they preach.
My daughter had a friend from a religious family who went to college to become an elementary teacher. Her parents made her borrow $50K for the degree but her father bought himself a new Ford F-250 Powerstroke diesel truck (costs about $50K)
They refused to pay for her education. I thought that was incredibly selfish.
No, parents should not be required to pay. That said, parents need to be mindful of how their children are going to survive and compete in this down and going economy.
For example, they can value schoolwork in the early grades and push their children towards science and engineering, if their children have the ability for it. Later, they can get them ready for applying for scholarships and grants. If at all possible, they might put some money away for their children's college in a tax-deferred plan of some type.
They would also make sure their children are shadowing relatives, like learning how to be a plumber or a painter or how to run a business. That would be another pathway towards making them independent when they are 18.
The point is that they need to do something. They can't leave it up to the children to fend for themselves. A great number are lazy and want to do the least amount of work possible, and when a lot of us have to work two part-time jobs just to make ends meet, that lack of work ethic will be a problem.
I'm retired now and my 3 children all graduated from college. I paid for the entire amount. And yes, they are grateful.
But I met an unemployed 42 year old father yesterday who is a college graduate and has two daughters aged 9 and 11. I had offered to give him some advice about how to find a job.
When I asked him about college plans he went off on a rant about "liberal colleges" and said his kids don't need to go to college.
I think that was just his way to rationalize the fact that he has likely saved zero for their education and he had no intention of paying for it.
I also noticed that he drove off in a 2015 Mustang GT.
I bet he is heading for a major marital problem if his wife does not agree.
Should parents be required to pay for college? Or can they opt out?
If they have the money, yes. People like this individual have misplaced priorities and make me sick.
To answer the question that titles this thread, " should a parent be REQUIRED to pay for college"
There is only one correct answer in a free and democratic society and that answer would be NO....
I don't hold out myself to be perfect, I can be as guilty of judging others as anyone but seriously people should just mind their own business when it comes to judging others choices...
You may "think" you have all the facts but you don't, you don't others financial situation, upbringing, how they got the "nice car" they are driving, whether that person put themselves through college and believes their children should do the same...there is a lot more that goes into these life choices
Parents will obviously not be 'required' to pay for college for their kids, so the question of whether they 'should' is moot. -- However, having been involved in helping kids find scholarship and financial assistance, I have a few observations about some of the 'games' parents play.
1). Refusing to substantially assist with a child's education needs beyond public school is short-sighted and reflects an unwillingness or inability to responsibly plan ahead. Kids are not generally qualified or motivated (and lack the life skills) to 'figure-out' college by themselves; plus, they are typically clueless about the longer-term implications of no specialized education or training. It looks to me like many parents simply 'bail out' of parenting their teenagers.
2). Kids can work during college, but, the reality of rising costs versus 'the good old days', makes the effort almost counter-productive. In order to earn enough to make a substantial 'dent' in expenses, a college student today needs to pretty much work full-time at entry-level, college town jobs, instead of attending class and studying.
3). IMO, many of the unemployed college grads with heavy bills and few job prospects, got little or very poor planning advice from parents and others --- to help them come-up with an 'employable major.' I don't know what percentage of parents are paying for some of the silly liberal arts degrees that kids select, but, this is almost as big a problem as finances. How can so many spend 4-years in college (actually 16-years of education) without realizing there is no meaningful job market in a chosen field or profession? (or, in the case of many of the 'social sciences' degrees, that one will need a PhD to earn a reasonable salary).
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SoulJourn
If they have the money, yes. People like this individual have misplaced priorities and make me sick.
If they can afford it, parents should help, but the kids need to raise some of that money themselves in order to be really engaged in the process, learn the cost of things, and gain some work experience.
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