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This is my first thread made here, based on an idea that is many years older than this website. Actually it predates adulthood, so you can guess my past experience. This is my first time giving the idea a large audience. I hope for constructive feedback and for anyone who likes the idea to spread it elsewhere.
Simply, many couples who have minors should be required to go to at least a little joint counseling before divorce is granted (unless they want to wait years for finalization). If neither wants to go to counseling, if there's clear physical abuse, if there has been joint counseling recently, etc., then no - but for the rest, yes. As far as I know, it isn't required anywhere - why not? The idea sounds great to me. Fleshing it out, government could subsidize for low-income people, therapists could offer discounts for the first few visits (teaser for future business and passion about saving families), couples could choose who they want to consult, therapists obviously firstly would focus on saving marriages but if that's not working, advice on how to split amicably and how to minimize damage to the children and each other could become the focus. I think the 'threat' of required counseling could make some people go even before they're ready for divorce, which would have a better chance of fixing situations. Ideally the concept would be tested in a few places first and phased in with divorce counseling first strongly recommended rather than required for anyone. I'm not a big fan of therapy, but dang it, people should be very interested in this idea.
Maybe counseling before getting married is an even better idea!
This should be mandatory, IMO.
As for your idea, OP, many states require separate educational sessions before a divorce is granted, and many couples do try joint counseling (but I don't know if any states require it).
I get what you're saying about requiring it. But the whole point of therapy is that you have to WANT to do it. Paying for it isn't always the roadblock. Forcing someone to go is.
there should be a "relationship boot camp" requirement
some guys/gals never ever been in a relationship,,then all the sudden they are married....living together,,,,,most havent even dealt with the ghosts of the past..let alone,,deal with compromise, appeasement, isolation, maturity with someone else..
sometimes a first marriage turns into the dysfunctional leechfield you grew up with,..
relationship skills...... you should have woman teaching men,,and men teaching the woman,,straight talk- show videos of men being verbally abusive,,,woman being control freaks,,,
if you grew up with this crap,,,then you never knew it was so wrong..
I think counseling should be required for couples that want to marry, but I don't see society as ready to embrace that, so let's leave that out of this discussion.
As for states' policies, I'm glad to hear the world isn't as stupid as I thought. How do required educational sessions differ from counseling? What states require that or already are pondering an idea like mine?
On paper, I'm sure it sounds smart to some people. In reality, I don't think it would avoid a single divorce.
Agree.
If people WANT to go to counseling, they will. If they don't, forcing them to do it is not going to be productive.
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