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Going through a divorce is scary. The biggest fear is jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. You really need support right now and if your brother is willing to provide it, take him up on it. It doesn't have to be a permanent situation.
As for the social workers, they all have supervisors. If you are not getting what you need from your worker, you have the right to speak to a supervisor. One unfortunate effect of mass immigration is that they drain the social services of the communities where they live.
Please be careful, once he sees you actually leaving he may become violent. If you can please try to have the police present when you move out.
I'm very happy that you've decided to put you first. Ignore your mother. Mine couldn't understand my decision at first, either but she came around. Good Luck.
Whoa....back down here a little and calm down so you can think this one through logically. The most important thing for you to do right now is to not lose control of your emotions or resolve to leave this man. If this man has abused you physically or emotionally then you need to go to a battered woman's shelter and now. Call the Welfare office where you live and ask them how do you find a shelter to go to. Where you will be living once you get to that shelter is of no consequence...just LEAVE and do it NOW. You can rail and rant about your husband all you want and waste all that energy on what you know is going to happen anyhow...pack a bag and head out fast.
Once you get to the shelter, do not tell anyone where you are. Your brother seems to care enough so I would keep in touch with him but that is all. I am absolutelly appalled at your Mom being angry with you for wanting to leave this loser. Her issue is that she is afraid you will land on her doorstep with your disability and she will have to help you out. If you were my daughter, I would do just that and shame on your Mom for what she has said. Would she rather see you with a nervous breakdown or sicker than you already are. Looks like you are going to go this one on your own.
At the shelter, you will find women from all walks of life who will all have a story about why they are in the shelter. You will be able to make new friends and gather yourself together so you can start a new life. The folks who run the shelter will be able to point you in the direction you need to go in for disability, food stamps, medical help...all of it and it is out there if you know where to look.
Please, take care of yourself and get away from this loser husband of yours before he makes you sicker than you already are. Pick up that phone and call the welfare people and tell them you need to talk to someone to find out how to get to a battered women's shelter. If they can't help you then walk into a police station and ask them. My late husband use to drive women to shelters in the middle of the night. He would get calls from police or welfare and off he would go. I never asked questions. He was my angel when it came to helping battered women. Stay strong and do what is best for you which does not include keeping your loser husband around.
Aside from that, divorces are never easy. They aren't supposed to be when people quit on each other. I suggest turning to friends, find a good book or just take a weekend away for yourself.
The laws are actually biased towards protecting women. That is why they have no fault divorces. However, since you married a dead beat, you will pay just as much as a man would have suffered. You signed the business contract!!! so pay up!
Just move in with the brother and you have to basically start from ground one. Getting a job etc. It is going to be hard but worth it if you hate the guy so much.
Oh yea and you haven't even got to divorce court yet!
Going through a divorce is scary. The biggest fear is jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. You really need support right now and if your brother is willing to provide it, take him up on it. It doesn't have to be a permanent situation.
Yeah I agree.
He does care which is good.
I have to do things the non-traditional route because of medical needs. I know I can find a place, it is just stressing me out. I am on enough lists one will call.
Quote:
As for the social workers, they all have supervisors. If you are not getting what you need from your worker, you have the right to speak to a supervisor. One unfortunate effect of mass immigration is that they drain the social services of the communities where they live.
Yeah you are right, that is good idea. Some social services in different areas are overwhelmed. Since two social workers told me my best bet was to LEAVE HERE, that says something. Sheesh.
The laws are actually biased towards protecting women. That is why they have no fault divorces. However, since you married a dead beat, you will pay just as much as a man would have suffered. You signed the business contract!!! so pay up!
Just move in with the brother and you have to basically start from ground one. Getting a job etc. It is going to be hard but worth it if you hate the guy so much.
Oh yea and you haven't even got to divorce court yet!
Ah divorce court will be easy for me, no assets, no kids.
He cant afford lawyer anyway, so this will probably be the simplest divorce in the history of the world once I am out.
Last edited by Marka; 06-08-2009 at 11:24 AM..
Reason: per request
Aside from that, divorces are never easy. They aren't supposed to be when people quit on each other. I suggest turning to friends, find a good book or just take a weekend away for yourself.
But this too shall pass. Look forward.
Yeah, I know they arent easy. Nothing FUN about them.
He quit too, but lacks intiative and per usual wants me to do all the dirty work.
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Divorce giving me nervous breakdown
