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My brother who claimed ownership, but little else of Bru, wants to get another dog. I'm very conflicted. I think it's too soon. I loved Bru and miss him terribly although he was very needy during the past few months and some nights I wished I didn't have to care for him. Then of course there is the sadness of wondering how much did he suffer? I'll never know of course, I'm thankful the vet was wise and compassionate and suggested it was time.
I'm also concerned about Miz Judy. She's food aggressive and likes to graze. I think it's a bad idea regardless of how long we wait. I don't think she misses Bruno at all. She's not acting mopey, she's her normal self. She asked to go with me yesterday after I returned from the vet, not too unusual, if the weather is cool she knows I'll take her in the car with me. The cats are a bit clingy but Judy? Her behavior hasn't changed, but it may be too soon to tell.
IF we get another dog I think a young puppy would be best. We'd have to take Judy to meet it of course, but she's usually ok with other dogs away from home so unless the shelter/rescue will do a home visit as well that wouldn't tell us much. I take her to the pet store when I go and once she was aggressive toward another dog, I have no idea why, the dog was just walking toward her, she stopped as soon as I spoke, but I'm concerned. She's never done it again but I watch her carefully just the same.
I guess where I'm going is does anyone have any reason other than Judy's food aggression for not getting another dog now?? I think that's a very solid reason but it's difficult to convince my brother. And my concern is if I don't get another dog he'll bring one home that is totally inappropriate. (I wish I could re-home HIM but that's another forum entirely!)
I guess. I just discovered that veterans and active military can adopt at a discount if they adopt a pet that is 2 or older or a large (40+ pounds). I'm doing the research but I feel there should be time in between to grieve, fur friends are not dishes they cannot be replaced.
Getting another dog is NOT a replacement for on lost! No more than one child replaces one that dies! BUT if You dont want him to have another dog then Tell him ...dont make up excuses!
Alf Wright (aka James Herriot) always advised folks to get a new dog "as soon as possible" after one has died. They help to fill the void in your heart.
It's never "too soon" if it's something that will bring you joy, especially in a time of pain.
However, it must be a decision that everyone is comfortable with.
Not excuses, if we get another dog the care will fall mostly to me. He's 66 however he is limited and has issues. He is capable of getting a dog without my consent, obviously not from a shelter but that's not the only source he works and has a small income although I handle most of his money. I have to be very careful how I approach the situation if I don't want another dog, which frankly I don't because it's a lot of responsibility in many ways but the financial drain of Bruno's final illness along with other recent issues has left us scrambling.
I'm using poor Judy as the reason, it's valid. She is food aggressive and that's a real concern. This is her home and she should be able to eat when she feels like it. I can't say to him as you would most people, you want the dog YOU take care of it, YOU train it because it won't happen. It isn't a matter of someone just being lazy, and me changing and making him do it - if it were that simple I'd have done that long ago! He has a mental disorder and this is the best I've seen him do.
I'm between the rock and the hard place. I'm very concerned about bringing a new dog into the house because of Judy at anytime, I don't want a puppy because I will have to train it, it's going to be a financial issue and I want a break. I've said all this but I doubt he heard me. I can and will get over my issues if we get another dog but my concern about Judy will remain.
If you have a dog who is food aggressive, I wouldn't recommend getting a puppy. Puppies are naturally inquisitive and have very immature brains, and you could be courting trouble. Besides, if you thought tending to an older dog was difficult near the end, trust me please. A puppy is one heck of a lot of work, and you must always be vigilant. Our pup is now 10 months old and we love him dearly, but I have hardly had a break since we got him last March. I would suggest getting a male dog over two years old -- if you decide to get a dog, that is.
can't you explain to your brother how much financial strain Bru put you in? Tell him it will take 6 months to recover. i frankly think running out to get a new pet is counter productive. Grief is a real process which needs time--even when we are grieving a pet.
I think it IS possible to be too soon. I went to a rescued Bulldog who was living at a groomers to donate cash and my recently deceased food and toys. And ended up taking him.
His life made a tremendous difference in MINE, and I agree we sometimes get the dogs we NEED, not the ones we think we "want" however not without alot of "expense". Financially and emotionally. Because he had alot of health problems and a short life ahead of him. I was in a weak position when I took him and didn't really consider the impact objectively.
Anyway, if he's going to get a dog come hell or high water, you want an obviously lower energy dog than Judy, not a puppy, yes, one over 2 years old, and one that will naturally submit to her. A male. One who doesn't meet her energy with like energy, but turns away and without being anxious or fearful..just go sit down and ignore her. Not go hide. Just ignore and sit down still in the area. (no flight) Plenty of dogs are on the submissive side and still fairly balanced healthy in the brain. IMO.
But also IMO, it's kinda mean to do to the new dog. To have to live with that stress. I would NOT be accepting of dominance by any dog in my house, either. I'M the ONLY dominant one in a house. It's rare IME that it's ONLY with food bowls. YMMV.
Last edited by runswithscissors; 11-20-2013 at 10:20 AM..
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