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Unfortunately, all I can do is agree. We live in a child centered society where we coddle their egos instead of let them grow strong. Which is why the US will never again be a world power. The world needs people who have skinned their knees and learned to dust themselves off and get back up to lead not our coddled children.
When I was a kid, we went out to play and were told to be home when the street lights came on. I walked to school every day. I was mature enough to be trusted baby sitting other people's kids at the ripe old age of 10. My parents did not make me do my homework. They, simply, kicked my butt if I brought home a bad report card. They would never have thought of calling my teacher about MY grades.
I do not hover over my kids. They don't make A's all the time like some of my friend's kids who do hover over them but my kids are learning to manage their own time, that education is their responsibility, that if they mess things up THEY need to fix it. I like to think they'll be better prepared for life. It must be working. Dd#2 said to me just the other day "You know what I like about you? You know your kids aren't perfect." she then went on to list her friend's parents who are so stupid (her word) their kids can fool them on anything.
Last edited by Ivorytickler; 06-18-2012 at 07:34 AM..
What that article is really pointing out is that what needs to be fixed is the parents. And I agree.
It's also what needs to be fixed in education. The big difference between education here and education there is whose responsibility learning is. There, it is the student's responsibility to learn. Here, students have no responsibility. Everyone else is blamed, except them, for their failures. They have no vested interest in the tests they take that are used to judge their teachers and their schools. There, once something is learned it is assumed the student knows it and the student is held accountable for knowing it. Here, we assume our kids know nothing and repeat ad nausium....One of the negative things my students had to say about me this year is that I shouldn't assume that kids have had physical science and I need to teach the things they missed by skipping physical science. My question is why is it my problem you skipped a prerequisite class and why should the rest of the class have to sit through a review because YOU made that choice?
I find it interesting that kids do less homework abroad yet learn more. First, they don't mess around with kids who want to disrupt class. They're out. They don't seem to have too many given there is a, severe, consequence for being one. Their kids also try because if they don't, they fail. They are allowed to fail. Our kids are not allowed to fail. We, socially, promote them and then cry foul when they graduate and can't read on a 5th grade level .
Bad parenting is what is wrong with education. Parents blame the teacher when their child fails instead of the child. Parents insist on good grades even if the child didn't deserve them and then blame the teacher and the school if teh child doesn't get them. No one has average kids these days. They're either in the G&T program or they have to have an IEP because they're SPECIAL.
Seriously, we can improve education in this country right now by doing one thing. Holding our children accountable for learning. Make it ok to kick them out if they disrupt class. Make it ok to fail them if they haven't learned what they should have WITHOUT acting like there MUST be something wrong with the teacher if kids act up in their class (they act up because they know we can't really do anything about it) or if they fail (every one of the kids who failed my class could have turned in assignments that would have resulted in them passing yet I'm on the hook because I failed too many . While I refuse to fail a student who gave it their all, I also refuse to help those who won't help themselves. I think failing is a good lesson for them and the best thing I can do for them. I'm sure a few grades will get changed but not by me.)
I don't disagree with the premise of the article, but it's a lot more complicated than the article explains. I think that there is a major philosophical deficiency among American citizenry that is causing us to fall further and further into disrepair. Other cultures - and I've lived in at least one other one and had family members from at least another - teach their children that they are not really all that important as individuals; that they are instead part of something larger. They don't just indoctrinate their children with made-for-bedtime stories and they don't just teach them about their 'rights'; they teach them about their responsibilities and that they're interrelated with each other, and that one person's abuse of their privileges is disruptive to others. They're not free to be whatever they want, and that even if they were, they wouldn't be encouraged them to believe in the pipe dream that they can all achieve the same ends through nothing more than their own sweat and labor. They teach their children from an early age that they're not entitled to their own opinions, especially if those 'opinions' pose as facts that are nothing more than religious customs. Most importantly, they teach their children REALITY, and that it doesn't come from a 30-minute television show on satellite television; it's right in front of them, and of their own making and that of others. They teach their children to be citizens, not individuals. And until we get back to that, we'll never 'get it'. Ever.
I don't disagree with the premise of the article, but it's a lot more complicated than the article explains. I think that there is a major philosophical deficiency among American citizenry that is causing us to fall further and further into disrepair. Other cultures - and I've lived in at least one other one and had family members from at least another - teach their children that they are not really all that important as individuals; that they are instead part of something larger. They don't just indoctrinate their children with made-for-bedtime stories and they don't just teach them about their 'rights'; they teach them about their responsibilities and that they're interrelated with each other, and that one person's abuse of their privileges is disruptive to others. They're not free to be whatever they want, and that even if they were, they wouldn't be encouraged them to believe in the pipe dream that they can all achieve the same ends through nothing more than their own sweat and labor. They teach their children from an early age that they're not entitled to their own opinions, especially if those 'opinions' pose as facts that are nothing more than religious customs. Most importantly, they teach their children REALITY, and that it doesn't come from a 30-minute television show on satellite television; it's right in front of them, and of their own making and that of others. They teach their children to be citizens, not individuals. And until we get back to that, we'll never 'get it'. Ever.
This is the heart of what is wrong with our country. We have a country full of youth asserting their rights and waiting for life to give them what they deserve while they have a country full of youth that is looking for a place to make a contribution. I fear this is something that will never change here. I also fear it will be our demise. Something happened in the 50's/60's that changed the way we look at children. They are no longer contributing members of the family. They are the members of the family who are catered to. We treat our children like they are delicate fine china. It should be no surprise that they grow up to be too fragile to handle adversity.
Schools can't fix this. Improving teacher quality can't fix this. What's broken is broken inside of our kids. It's their sense of entitlement just because they can breathe.
I was raised to think I'm not more special than the next person and I was required to think of others before myself. Kids today are raised as the center of the family and taught that they come first. That makes teaching them very difficult.
Unfortunately, all I can do is agree. We live in a child centered society where we coddle their egos instead of let them grow strong. Which is why the US will never again be a world power. The world needs people who have skinned their knees and learned to dust themselves off and get back up to lead not our coddled children.
When I was a kid, we went out to play and were told to be home when the street lights came on. I walked to school every day. I was mature enough to be trusted baby sitting other people's kids at the ripe old age of 10. My parents did not make me do my homework. They, simply, kicked my butt if I brought home a bad report card. They would never have thought of calling my teacher about MY grades.
I do not hover over my kids. They don't make A's all the time like some of my friend's kids who do hover over them but my kids are learning to manage their own time, that education is their responsibility, that if they mess things up THEY need to fix it. I like to think they'll be better prepared for life. It must be working. Dd#2 said to me just the other day "You know what I like about you? You know your kids aren't perfect." she then went on to list her friend's parents who are so stupid (her word) their kids can fool them on anything.
I do have a set homework time where they are required to do the homework. I've rarely had an issue with this. I also check the tests when they come home. I have found answers marked wrong when they were right and I called or emailed the teacher about it.
While I do not hover over my kids, I do feel it is my responsibility as a parent to ensure that they are doing what they are supposed to.
I also teach my children that while they do have rights, they also have responsibilities towards others. I also encourage their individuality but it is always taught along with respect for others. I also teach them that they are not always the most important person.
There is nothing inherently wrong with teaching individuality. But when that lesson includes superiority over others, that is when it becomes an issue.
I also teach my children that while they do have rights, they also have responsibilities towards others. I also encourage their individuality but it is always taught along with respect for others. I also teach them that they are not always the most important person.
There is nothing inherently wrong with teaching individuality. But when that lesson includes superiority over others, that is when it becomes an issue.
There is something wrong with teaching individuality. Think about it. What do you do with a society full of individuals? What our kids need to learn is they are part of something bigger and that the bigger picture is often more important than they are. We don't need a society full of individuals. We need a society of people trying to fit in. Ironically, that's what we had when this country was great but as we became the greatest nation, we started teaching our kids they are individuals and it's been down hill since then...
You can't build a strong society with individuals. And, ironically, the individuals we've bred aren't happy because life just doesn't treat them like the individuals they think they are. Life treats them just like it would treat anyone else. We don't help our kids to live in society by teaching them they are special or to celebrate their individuality. We need to teach them they are no more an individual than the next person over and no more special.
Last edited by Ivorytickler; 06-19-2012 at 06:03 AM..
Of course they are part of something bigger, but they are still individuals free to pursue the lives they want to lead as long as it doesn't intrude on other people's rights. I think you and I have very, very different ideas of what being an individual means.
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Want to fix education? This is how
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This is the heart of what is wrong with our country. We have a country full of youth asserting their rights and waiting for life to give them what they deserve while they have a country full of youth that is looking for a place to make a contribution. I fear this is something that will never change here. I also fear it will be our demise. Something happened in the 50's/60's that changed the way we look at children. They are no longer contributing members of the family. They are the members of the family who are catered to. We treat our children like they are delicate fine china. It should be no surprise that they grow up to be too fragile to handle adversity.
