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It is blatantly obvious that there are just some people that believe they have the right to break whatever rules they feel "suppress" their "style". Parents nowadays have taught their children that they do not have to follow the rules if they don't want to. As I've said before the rules have been put in place in order for the schools to function in a way as to make LEARNING and getting an EDUCATION the top priority. When busybody parents get involved it throws it all out of whack and wastes resources. The only time you see these parents at the school is when they feel jr has been "wronged".
My first school was an international one, with kids from all over the planet. We had many students (ages 5-14) who had cornrows, afros, and dreadlocks. Also, I've worked in schools where the girls were required to wear head coverings (Mennonite and Muslim). It was never an issue. Never. We still had rules, and everyone followed them. Keep your hair neat- look groomed. We never had a problem. Of course, none of our parents were out to make a personal statement, using their child's hair. You followed rules, or you chose another school. No big deal.
I did have a third grader (in public school) who, in the last week of school, bullied his mom into letting him get a mohawk. Clearly, this kid got away with anything at home, and mom never had the parenting skills to say no. He was ridiculed by the whole school. The kids were not excessively mean to him, they just thought he looked ridiculous, and laughed at him. It wasn't bullying- this is the reaction this child and his mother wanted. He even walked up to every teacher and asked them to comment on his hair. Most just smiled and asked him to go back to what he was supposed to be doing. We had kids with head coverings and Afros and braids- but THIS child went out of his way to make a scene. He literally stopped the flow of traffic in the halls. Didn't bother him at all- he relished the attention, so did his mother. The principal took her in the office, and told her that she could have waited a week to get the kid's hair done (school would be over then), but she said no. The boy wanted to "make a statement" ( at age 8) and get noticed. That was four years ago. He is in the middle school now, and people still talk about that stupid kid with the dumb -a** hair cut.
The kids were used to seeing different hair styles, different skin colors and dress. No big deal, as there was still an expectation of coming to school dressed neatly, ready to learn and work. This kid and his mom had an agenda. She even wanted a picture of his hair for the yearbook for the following year. The principal reminded her that there were other students at the school besides hers, and she could scrapbook the kid at home all the live long day.
Quote:
Originally Posted by eevee
hmm, going back to the hair issue, I wonder what hairstyles are considered "distractions" and which ones aren't. I wonder how this school (school from the original post) would react to a child w/ dreadlocks, or a giant afro, or cornrows? I've been told a few times by a supervisor that my hair was distracting (I'm black and my hair is natural and usually in an afro, though sometimes if temporary dreadlocks), though there was nothing in the rule book that didn't say I couldn't have my hair the way it was. I wasn't ever really sure how my hair was distracting to my coworkers
Is a buzz cut a strategy for succes? How about a pony tail? What about a bob? Maybe a mullet?
I think even using the term strategy for success as it refers to a hair cut was ridiculous. Unless a kid comes to school with the pythagorean therom on his shirt, what form of clothing or accessory is a strategy of success?
I actually think it it great that this kid has parents that allow him to express himself how he wants to, within reason. It is not like he brought a gun to school or walked the halls naked, IT IS A HAIRCUT, geeez!
At the age of 5 it's not just a haircut. Do you want your child to be defined in school as someone who is getting an education, or do you want your child to be defined as someone who is prone to extremes in appearance to get attention. In high school, you can do both, and if someone wants to dye their hair pink or get a mohawk or walk around in a kilt and the school allows it, go for it. I lived through the 60's and 70's--I know about making a statement.
Kids at 5 should be learning their ABC's or that it's not good thing to eat a bug. A 5 year old still has to be guided. I'd be surprised if that child went up to his mom and said he wanted a mohawk. But if he did, at what point does parental guidance come in. There's plenty of time to decide how to express themselves, and it usually starts in middle school. I won't address the comments about pony tails, bobs, mullets, guns, nakedness, etc. You yourself know the answer to that one. Although, if my child at the age of 5 asked for a mullet, I would wonder if he/she's gotten ahold of a Billy Ray Cyrus video or is trying to look like Anakin Skywalker.
Quote:
Originally Posted by novanative75
Is a buzz cut a strategy for succes? How about a pony tail? What about a bob? Maybe a mullet?
I think even using the term strategy for success as it refers to a hair cut was ridiculous. Unless a kid comes to school with the pythagorean therom on his shirt, what form of clothing or accessory is a strategy of success?
I actually think it it great that this kid has parents that allow him to express himself how he wants to, within reason. It is not like he brought a gun to school or walked the halls naked, IT IS A HAIRCUT, geeez!
At the age of 5 it's not just a haircut. Do you want your child to be defined in school as someone who is getting an education, or do you want your child to be defined as someone who is prone to extremes in appearance to get attention. In high school, you can do both, and if someone wants to dye their hair pink or get a mohawk or walk around in a kilt and the school allows it, go for it. I lived through the 60's and 70's--I know about making a statement.
Kids at 5 should be learning their ABC's or that it's not good thing to eat a bug. A 5 year old still has to be guided. I'd be surprised if that child went up to his mom and said he wanted a mohawk. But if he did, at what point does parental guidance come in. There's plenty of time to decide how to express themselves, and it usually starts in middle school. I won't address the comments about pony tails, bobs, mullets, guns, nakedness, etc. You yourself know the answer to that one. Although, if my child at the age of 5 asked for a mullet, I would wonder if he/she's gotten ahold of a Billy Ray Cyrus video or is trying to look like Anakin Skywalker.
See, I disagree. I think kids these days, earlier and earlier are learning about making a statement and being individual. I have two little brothers, one is 9 and one is 7. I was AMAZED at how much these kids wanted to express themselves as individuals at age 5. They are the smartest kids ever but when one was 5, he wanted to grow his hair long and he did. He looked adorable. The other got into this phase where he wore those Lance Armstong-like bracelets on his ankle, about 15-20 at a time! No problem.
All kids are not the same, not all develop the same. One five year old may be more confident and understanding of who he/she is than the next. Why do we suppress our kids' wanting to express themselves and define who they are. Sure, that will change overtime but to allow them to be who they are, where's the harm there.
It reminds me of a song from my childhood, 'Free to be you and me'. I want my children to be comfortable with who they are, to appreciate differences amongst their friends and to be able to express themselves in appropriate ways, and I think a haircut is a totally appropriate way, regardless of age.
I really do not worry about what 5 year olds are 'defined as', who does? Most importantly, I want to teach my child at a young age not to care what other people think. Be who you are and be proud! You want to know what happens to the kids that grow up worried about what other people think? Well, let's see. They have eating disorders and succomb to peer pressure when it comes to drugs and sex, for two examples.
How can we tell our children that they can not start to have an identity until 6th or 7th grade, as you say it starts in middle school. Do you wake your kids up on the first day of middle school and ask them who they are? Children are not derived from cookie cutters, no one can tell a child when he or she will start to develop an identity.
I want to teach my child at a young age not to care what other people think
Yeah, I agree.
My son has been getting mohawks in the summer. Last year they had a theme party a few days before school ended and he wanted the mohawk for that day, so he got it early. He gets some taunts, he gets some judgements. Oh well.
He is an over-achiever and in the gifted program (which means he has to perform well). I am told by his teachers, friends parents, scout leaders, ect that he is well behaved and a good role model. I think it is more likely if there are negative judgements being made it's more like "what were his PARENTS thinking"
I am all for letting kids express themselves with their hair and clothes. To tell the truth, I was waiting that day in third grade for a phone call...cause our schools also have that "natural hair" policy. Geesh, hair grows, get over it. Let 'em screw it all up, in 6 months it's all gone. Let them do it while they are young.
See, I disagree. I think kids these days, earlier and earlier are learning about making a statement and being individual. I have two little brothers, one is 9 and one is 7. I was AMAZED at how much these kids wanted to express themselves as individuals at age 5. They are the smartest kids ever but when one was 5, he wanted to grow his hair long and he did. He looked adorable. The other got into this phase where he wore those Lance Armstong-like bracelets on his ankle, about 15-20 at a time! No problem.
All kids are not the same, not all develop the same. One five year old may be more confident and understanding of who he/she is than the next. Why do we suppress our kids' wanting to express themselves and define who they are. Sure, that will change overtime but to allow them to be who they are, where's the harm there.
It reminds me of a song from my childhood, 'Free to be you and me'. I want my children to be comfortable with who they are, to appreciate differences amongst their friends and to be able to express themselves in appropriate ways, and I think a haircut is a totally appropriate way, regardless of age.
I really do not worry about what 5 year olds are 'defined as', who does? Most importantly, I want to teach my child at a young age not to care what other people think. Be who you are and be proud! You want to know what happens to the kids that grow up worried about what other people think? Well, let's see. They have eating disorders and succomb to peer pressure when it comes to drugs and sex, for two examples.
How can we tell our children that they can not start to have an identity until 6th or 7th grade, as you say it starts in middle school. Do you wake your kids up on the first day of middle school and ask them who they are? Children are not derived from cookie cutters, no one can tell a child when he or she will start to develop an identity.
Perfect response. I can't rep you yet (since I already did recently) or else I certainly would! *APPLAUSE*
I think you're misunderstanding my response. Nowhere do I say it is good to squelch what a child wants to do, or wear or even wear their hair. My son in kindergarten wanted longer hair, wanted to play a musical instrument, wanted to play basketball, wanted to be in cub scouts. All those things were and still are encouraged. A mohawk is just too extreme for that young of an age. I wouldn't have expelled that child, but I sure would have talked to the parents.
[quote=novanative75;2987902]I think kids these days, earlier and earlier are learning about making a statement and being individual.
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