Private High Schools - worth the cost just for connections?

[TabulaRasa]

True. My BF ended up in his school primarily because his GRANDPARENTS wouldn't hear of "one of theirs" not going to said school. In that case, the status consciousness was a throwback two entire generations, and one that nobody had the inclination to buck.

[hsw]

Likely not worth it

HS is minor stuff; greater priority should be entering one of top 5 colleges and choosing a major that leads to a viable career path

Elite, lucrative industries like hedge funds or tech heavily hire from top ranks of undergrads of Wharton or Stanford

Many of one's classmates at Wharton finance or Stanford comp sci will be lifelong pals and/or competitors in any high-powered career path...but my anecdotal expce is most of top alums of these colleges (over past ~20yrs) are grads of mediocre public suburban HS from all over US and view their HS education as a fairly useless and time-inefficient steppingstone to college and their career path

In an increasingly quant-driven world with Darwinian industries like finance or tech, many of the "soft" social skills polished at prep schools and lib arts colleges are less relevant except perhaps for those hoping for jobs in sales...

[golfgal]

No, the extra $260,000/child is not going to get him all that valuable of connections at least not any more then his friends from a public high school. Even going to a top 5 university isn't going to help you all that much. It will come down to the individual. Yes, it might get you an extra interview but if you are a schlep, having Stanford on your resume doesn't mean any more then having Joe's College on your resume.

Most highly successful people came from simple roots, learned the value of working hard and made their own success.

[Mamama Mia]

I would save those $$ and put them toward an excellent college education.

[GoCUBS1]

Originally Posted by hsw

Likely not worth it
....but my anecdotal expce is most of top alums of these colleges (over past ~20yrs) are grads of mediocre public suburban HS from all over US and view their HS education as a fairly useless and time-inefficient steppingstone to college and their career path

In an increasingly quant-driven world with Darwinian industries like finance or tech, many of the "soft" social skills polished at prep schools and lib arts colleges are less relevant except perhaps for those hoping for jobs in sales...

Agree w/your post (though have you ever made a post without the words "hedge fund" in it? )

Many top alums I know (e.g. Univ. of Chicago Economics) attended public suburban schools. I have researched most of the private/prep schools in Chicago (maybe it's different in other areas of the country?) and the majority (except maybe IMSA & Lab Schools) fall short on Math/Science compared to top public HS... Though the "soft skills" are what the prep schools excel at. And perhaps, if you are a trust fund baby with no need for career aspirations, classes in French Lit., Latin Syntax, Renaissance Art, Greek Theatre, and Restoration Poetry are all you really need...

p.s. Just remembered IMSA (Illinois' top Math/Science HS) is public which further supports my point...

[Momma_bear]

Originally Posted by StilltheSame

Hi all. I have had a brief search on this topic but could not locate this issue. We are debating whether it is worth the cost to put our children in private schools (20K per year x 2 kids) to make the connections that may come about later in life from having friends who are well connected. Before anyone claims this is not so, I can tell you based on a few years in elementary school we have made friends with well positioned families. Some families we just didnt click with but others are now cherished friends. We moved to a great school system (the previous not so much) and have confidence in the public schools, so now if the education is comparable - is it worth the cost for social connections? I thought I was the only one who saw it this way until I mentioned it to a few co-workers and they raised the social connection as the reason for choosing private. I find it an interesting issue. Thoughts?

I think the increased social connections are a benefit of private schools, especially at the high school level. It is one of many reasons that we choose private middle/high school for our kids. For us the most important reason to choose private is the smaller classes and more individualized education.

There are many reasons we like private school but they are to great to go into here. Reasons to choose private school vary by family, income level, and by what is available in the local public schools. But there definitely are increased social connections to be had in private high schools.

[GoCUBS1]

When our kids attended private school, we made social connections but the families lived within a larger geographic area (e.g. we often had to drive 30 minutes for lunch w/a classmate). Or, many were temporary transplants from different states/countries. Also, the private school had a smaller population of families with whom to connect.

Now that we are in a good public school, we have actually made more social connections w/in our community. And, many of these families are just as "well-to-do" as the families from our private school (if these things are important to you). We have had more invitations to "prestigious" events than we had at the private school.

So, another alternative is to take the money you'd spend in private school and move to an upscale town where you can make these "social connections" within a good public school system. Or, do you think the very wealthy/successful only send their kids to private schools? You may be surprised at the families that are at our public school... Luckily, they don't flaunt it (unlike my previous experience with the private school).

Much of the eduspeak and "prestigous image" connected to private schools is marketing fluff and propaganda. I know there are still good private/prep schools out there... Just research carefully and don't buy into all the hype...

[marylee54]

Jumping in on this discussion, I researched private schools for my children, found many private schools were a dumping ground of sorts for behavioral problems from the public system, the parents managed to sanatize their records, then sent them to private school. They didn't turn into angels at the private school, they were more easy to "hide". Private schools are a business, they want the money, they are reluctant to expel a student for misconduct unless its so extreme they have no choice. They can't afford to **** off parents who are well-connected and can't afford bad puiblicity, so, nothing bad ever happens there.

I chatted up the owner of a convenience store next to a private school I was considering, she said they had to lock their doors when school was dismissed, the students would create problems in her store.

Ok, that's not what the OP is asking, I understand, not are they exposed to kids of good character in a private school? Its about network and contacts. Some of the best contacts can have totally rotten characters.

To quote JR Ewing "once you lose integrity, the rest is easy".

I vote for sending my kids to public school (which is excellent in our area) and being sleective about who we assoicate with, and get into the "right" social activities, such as certain golf, tennis, volunteer activities, also, parents network for their kids regardless of whether its a kid's activity or not, such as certain ladies clubs I'm in...............

I had a friend who was very ambitious for her 4 children. She actually had very little money, sent them to public schools and state universities, but she literally starved herself to get into certain social clubs. All four of her children are extremely successful, her oldest daughter owns a chain of optometry clinics, is worth in the 7 figures, her connections paid off...........as well as her credentials.