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I ran across a couple of interesting blog posts on this topic, and it comes up pretty frequently here (directly or indirectly) so I thought it would be interested to talk about.
Depending on where you fall on the conventionally pretty spectrum (the "right" size, figure type, hair length, hair style, hair color, hair texture, skin tone, height, ethnicity, etc.....) your experience will differ.
And of course if you talk about it, people will decide that discussing the topic opens you up to criticism or dialogue about your own looks and where you fall on the "pretty" scale. It looks something like this:
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After several years of studying body image and writing/speaking about it publicly, the same brick wall loves to pop up and stifle any productive conversation about what we do: Our looks.Lexie and I will never be pretty enough or thin enough or ugly enough or fat enough (or insert any looks-oriented factor) to be credible spokespeople for positive body image and media literacy. Regardless of how research-backed, profound, truthful or crucially needed our messages are, there are — almost without fail — people who will dismiss us entirely as “just jealous of beautiful women” or “too pretty to know what body shame feels like.”
I'll never really know to what degree I've experienced beauty bias, in either direction. Few of us do. It could be that the small perks I've been attributing to being a nice-enough-looking lady—say, getting slipped a free cookie now and then at the deli—are just people being kind, and that they'd do the same if I were homely, or a man. I'm sure that is indeed the case sometimes, but I've been smacked down by my own naivete in this regard enough times to know better than to get all Pollyanna here. (One of the free-cookie men suddenly stopped giving me cookies after I stopped by once with a male friend. It was the illusion of availability that he liked—and once that fell to the wayside, so did my supply of white chocolate-macadamia treats.) We can have our hunches, but for the most part that's all we have.
So do you think you have experienced any "pretty privilege" either positive or negative due to your perceived attractiveness? Have you ever noticed a big change after you have minor-ly or significantly altered your appearance (lost weight, gained weight, post-plastic surgery or other cosmetic enhancement, new haircut, new clothing style, post-puberty, new makeup style, "aged".....)?
Or is it something you have never considered at all?
I really don't think about it too much. What I do think is that you are about to open up another one of those 'cans of worms' with this thread.
It will come out to be racial in nature and how dark skinned women are frowned upon. (I can tell the future) =) Or white or latina women have an advantage..in everything!
I think of myself as average. One day I went out in public, dressed in sweat pants, and a baseball cap. Completely covered up. When I was crossing the street, someone nearly ran me over. They stepped on the gas pedal and tried to hit me. If I were dressed a lot better, I doubt that would have happened.
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I'll never really know to what degree I've experienced beauty bias, in either direction. Few of us do. It could be that the small perks I've been attributing to being a nice-enough-looking lady—say, getting slipped a free cookie now and then at the deli—are just people being kind, and that they'd do the same if I were homely, or a man. I'm sure that is indeed the case sometimes, but I've been smacked down by my own naivete in this regard enough times to know better than to get all Pollyanna here. (One of the free-cookie men suddenly stopped giving me cookies after I stopped by once with a male friend. It was the illusion of availability that he liked—and once that fell to the wayside, so did my supply of white chocolate-macadamia treats.) We can have our hunches, but for the most part that's all we have.
Race has a lot to do with this. I bet the woman in this article is White. I'm always reading these type of tales from white women.
I really don't think about it too much. What I do think is that you are about to open up another one of those 'cans of worms' with this thread.
It will come out to be racial in nature and how dark skinned women are frowned upon. (I can tell the future) =) Or white or latina women have an advantage..in everything!
LOL! I hope not! We can't counteract these things if we don't admit they exist. I would post a thread on "thin privilege" but we all know how that would turn out. "Those lazypots should stop eating McDonalds and exercise. Why do they think they deserve to be treated normally and have lives." And it would turn into a huge "fat bashing" thread.
I thought "pretty privilege" was a little "softer" and more people can relate to it, because I am sure everyone can think of a case where something happened where they were perceived as a "little" prettier than someone else. Even if it was only in the eyes of one beholder.
I think of myself as average. One day I went out in public, dressed in sweat pants, and a baseball cap. Completely covered up. When I was crossing the street, someone nearly ran me over. They stepped on the gas pedal and tried to hit me. If I were dressed a lot better, I doubt that would have happened.
Race has a lot to do with this. I bet the woman in this article is White. I'm always reading these type of tales from white women.
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Originally Posted by jade408
LOL! I hope not! We can't counteract these things if we don't admit they exist. I would post a thread on "thin privilege" but we all know how that would turn out. "Those lazypots should stop eating McDonalds and exercise. Why do they think they deserve to be treated normally and have lives." And it would turn into a huge "fat bashing" thread.
I thought "pretty privilege" was a little "softer" and more people can relate to it, because I am sure everyone can think of a case where something happened where they were perceived as a "little" prettier than someone else. Even if it was only in the eyes of one beholder.
About how being pretty/not pretty has helped/hurt you.
I went to a restaurant, and the servers took way too long with my order. About 5 or 6 people came in after me and walked out with their meal. I was upset and politely demanded in a sweet voice that I get my order for free because of the inconvenience. The manager didn't argue and I got my meal for free of charge If people are treating you like crap because of your race or how you look then you have to demand respect.
I went to a restaurant, and the servers took way too long with my order. About 5 or 6 people came in after me and walked out with their meal. I was upset and politely demanded in a sweet voice that I get my order for free because of the inconvenience. The manager didn't argue and I got my meal for free of charge. If people are treating you like crap because of your race or how you look then you have to demand respect.
When I do it it does. I firmly let them know in a polite way why I should get my meal for free. And they gave it to me.
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If people are treating you like crap because of your race or how you look then you have to demand respect.
