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I am fat which automatically makes women assume I am physically unfit. LOL. I just lifted 70 lb suitcases in each hand while moving houses today, and this was while walking on ice BAREFOOT without a jacket on. I did this for several hours in sub freezing temperatures till my body parts turned numb. Nuff said about physical toughness ladies. If that's not manly enough for you, sorry there is nothing more in my trunk I can offer.
FYI, I am a proud fatso who was wearing a white striped polo while doing this .
Why were you barefoot? I see your posts on the NJ boards, I don't know why I thought you were married from your posts.
This is my perspective...obesity is a disease the way that alcoholism is a disease. We don't make fun of alcoholics...it's much harder to tell if someone you walk past on a street is an alcoholic, but obesity is right out there to mock. Maybe there's a genetic predisposition for someone's obesity, maybe it's caused by emotional overeating, who knows. There are some people who have an actual, medical cause. Either way, people don't just wake up one day and say, "I want to get fat so I can be the target of others' mockery and my own self-hatred." It's harder to lose weight than it is to quit smoking or to quit drinking...you can't just stop eating until you're cured of your food addiction.
All this talk about fat acceptance, and "normalizing" obesity? It only makes it worse, because it reinforces the idea that people can just choose one day to quit being obese, push away the plate, and let the pounds fall off. For most people, it's not that easy. Prevention would be a good thing to focus on, because it's much easier to keep the weight off to begin with than it is to lose it later on. But the people who are obese need to be treated like human beings...being fat doesn't make you stupid or lazy. Medical professionals especially need to learn how to talk to obese patients without treating them like idiots.
No offense, but you've got spelling errors in your post. I only mention that just to say I'm not totally sure, but it seems like you said your mother's friend went somewhere in the South and received negative attention from men. Hmmm. That surprises me, if that's the case, because the South probably has more overweight people than anywhere else in the US.
Frankly, I get different responses from men depending on their race and what part of the US I'm in. I am "plus size," and I get hit on or get male attention more in the South than anywhere else. I live in west TN, and the men here are annoying as he11. But when I lived in Michigan and Illinois, I was almost completely ignored by men. It's like a really weird night-and-day difference between the amount of attention I get from men in TN vs these other places. But then, so many of the females here are overweight, so what is a guy going to do? I think that plays a huge role, i.e. what kind of options does the person have around them and what did they grow up with. People who are used to being around a lot of attractive overweight people are going to be able to see the beauty in it faster than other people can.
In your mother's friend's case, though, if she was 400lbs that could just be too much. Most big women down here are not THAT big.
I don't really date, so the question of dating an overweight person doesn't much apply to me.
P.S. boy, I really wish we could take points away from people's reputations, looking at some of these responses...
No. I do not find them to be physically attractive. I do not find them to be sexually attractive. If she is nice and we have mutual interests then she is "friend zoned" with no chance or hope whatsoever for anything more.
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Originally Posted by June87
Where do you live?
Los Angeles. The Valley.
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Originally Posted by June87
Also, does your state "accept" a plus size people?
Lols Chum Kiu, you love posting all the time about how much you hate overweight women and would never date one. You sure must be some kind of rich hottie. And to say that So Cal accepts everyone is a laugh.
On other thread on here and my polo thread got me thinking. My mom had a very large friend. She must have been close to 400lbs and 6'0. This woman hard time getting a date. We lived (still live) in NJ. She said she went someone in the south and a lot of men were hating on her. Would you date a plus size person? Where do you live? Also, does your state "accept" a plus size people?
I live in NJ, and I don't think big people are accepted. I would date a plus size guy if he was nice and we got along.
Dated many, married to the biggest of 'em all. 6'3", 456 pounds when we first started dating. Last we checked, she's 380.
Big people aren't widely accepted anywhere, no pun intended, unless we're talking about black people. For whatever reason, black men like big black women and black women like big black men in greater proportions than I've ever noticed from any other race or ethnicity. Not sure why that is, but whatever. I've always said they just have good taste.
Born and raised in New Jersey, lived all over the country including in Texas. I don't think any state accepts plus-sized people any more than any other, merely because of its location or anything else about the state. I've read that Mississippi is the "fattest state", but Mississippi also has a lot of black people... who are much more accepting of others in their race being fat compared to other races as I mentioned before. Growing up in NJ, I did feel pressure to date thinner women... that was rough on a guy who's loved the fat ones ever since age 2... but I don't know if it'd have been any different anywhere else. I dated fat women from all over the country and they all said that they experienced discrimination and difficulty getting dates.
I am fat which automatically makes women assume I am physically unfit. LOL. I just lifted 70 lb suitcases in each hand while moving houses today, and this was while walking on ice BAREFOOT without a jacket on. I did this for several hours in sub freezing temperatures till my body parts turned numb. Nuff said about physical toughness ladies. If that's not manly enough for you, sorry there is nothing more in my trunk I can offer.
FYI, I am a proud fatso who was wearing a white striped polo while doing this .
I wouldn't disqualify you for being fat, I would disqualify you for being an idiot! Seriously who geoes out in below freezing temps BAREFOOT with no coat on?! That's just stupid!
As for me, no I would NOT date a fat person. Not my cup of tea at all.
This is my perspective...obesity is a disease the way that alcoholism is a disease. We don't make fun of alcoholics...it's much harder to tell if someone you walk past on a street is an alcoholic, but obesity is right out there to mock. Maybe there's a genetic predisposition for someone's obesity, maybe it's caused by emotional overeating, who knows. There are some people who have an actual, medical cause. Either way, people don't just wake up one day and say, "I want to get fat so I can be the target of others' mockery and my own self-hatred." It's harder to lose weight than it is to quit smoking or to quit drinking...you can't just stop eating until you're cured of your food addiction.
All this talk about fat acceptance, and "normalizing" obesity? It only makes it worse, because it reinforces the idea that people can just choose one day to quit being obese, push away the plate, and let the pounds fall off. For most people, it's not that easy. Prevention would be a good thing to focus on, because it's much easier to keep the weight off to begin with than it is to lose it later on. But the people who are obese need to be treated like human beings...being fat doesn't make you stupid or lazy. Medical professionals especially need to learn how to talk to obese patients without treating them like idiots.
I could not agree more with that last thought. Prevention is where the fix is. But that's a tricky nut to crack for a lot of reasons. Kids would rather play video game football over going outside and actually playing football. Kids would rather "hang out" online over actually linking up and patrolling the neighborhood on their bikes the way a lot of us did when we were kids. Somehow we need to find a way to change that mentality. So yes, prevention is the long term solution, but how do we get there? We need parents to become involved. And that's where I believe "fat acceptance" is an important step to the solution.
To me it seems a person has to reach a point of self realization that they are worth fighting for and putting in an effort to get better. If they reach this point my guess is they are in a much stronger position to be successful in their own efforts because their motivation is well-grounded. To me "fat acceptance" is not so much an effort to normalize or encourage weight gain, but an effort to stop treating people badly over their weight. "Fat acceptance" has its skeptics, sure. But "fat shaming" is certainly not a solution either, and proponents of it are usually just using it as an excuse to treat others badly.
With all this in mind, in answer to the OP's question, I've been married for almost 8 years now. My wife gained some weight after the the little people, but she was not exactly skinny to begin with. Before she and I got together I evolved from dating lean/athletic/average size girls to dating overweight ones. I lived in Denver, Colorado at the time, a city constantly rated as the #1 fit city in the country.
Some of the overweight women I dated were suspicious of my intentions because they felt I "had better options, so what was I up to with her" or "just wanted to bang a fatty" and so on. It was hard to date these women because they didn't seem to know how to just enjoy the moment. And the truth is, I couldn't blame them because they had been shaped by their experiences. Still, I could not sacrifice myself. I needed certain things in a relationship too, like a woman who saw herself an equal partner with me and not suspicious of why I wanted to date her. Other overweight women I dated were very comfortable in their own bodies, despite setbacks in the dating world. I once had one tell me she "knew she was fat and and didn't appeal to everyone, but she also knew she appealed to someone the way she was and was waiting for that guy to appear." I admired her confidence in herself.
Currently my wife is working pretty hard to trim her weight and I'm all for it. From her perspective she has dealt discrimination since gaining weight because she has seen the way people treat her before and after. People make assumptions about her. For example, she has been a member at a gym for a while now and a few months ago a new girl started coming. This girl has done well for herself and lost some weight. My wife and her were at the gym together and one of the trainers approached the other girl and said, "Oh, and I see you're bringing a friend now!" My wife was there first, AND she was giving the other girl tips on form and technique, but that trainer was unable to see past her stereotype and notice that my wife had been there much longer than her friend.
Sorry for the novel. I am very passionate about this subject because of some of the people I've met over the years and some of the people to whom I am very close. It's socially acceptable to make fun of overweight people, and I would like to do my part to at least reign the anti-fat sentiments in. People are free to voice their opinions, I just wish they would do so in a way that preserved the dignity and respect of others. You don't have to embrace overweight people; just don't treat them badly due to their weight.
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I see your posts on the NJ boards, I don't know why I thought you were married from your posts.
My wife was there first, AND she was giving the other girl tips on form and technique, but that trainer was unable to see past her stereotype and notice that my wife had been there much longer than her friend.
