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Do my friends and family call me cheap?
Not to my face... Quite likely they do behind my back. So?
Do I hide my frugality?
Hell no!
It can be seen in the paid for and old, err, modest cars I drive and the paid for and old, err, modest house I live in.
I couldn't hide it if I wanted too.
And why would I want to?
I don't consider myself "cheap" - I consider myself "financially smart" and I think most people see me that way. There is a reason I have been debt-free my whole life (so far).
But I do treat myself very nicely - if I don't, who will? And my Mom actually finds it wasteful. It's my life though, so it's all good
My mom tells me I spend too much at Goodwill. She says my kids have too many clothes. When I was a kid, I never had more than three outfits and they were never normal clothes, usually old lady clothes she'd gotten at garage sales. My kids each have a closet and a dresser full and then we've got boxes of winter clothes besides.
Sometimes my oldest daughter says she feels weird when her friends ask where she got something and she knows it came from Goodwill. I told her just to say that her mom bought it and she doesn't know where.
My husband and I share one old car. We just don't care about cars. Our house is nice and that's enough.
No I don't hide it. I also don't know if they call me cheap, but some think it is weird I stock up on an item when it goes on sale. I just smile when I pull my item out of the pantry and know it is much less expensive than if I had to buy it today. Then I do the happy dance.
I had a friend who has made it a point to call me cheap, tight and really gotten down on me for going to Goodwill. Well, I've defended myself to a certain point and on several occasions she has told me I should fly her to wherever I happen to be living at the time as she always says she has no money.
So what is your experience and how have you handled it if/when someone calls you cheap or criticizes you for going to thrift stores? Also, do you hide it from people or ever make up stories for where you got such and such?
Of course I don't hide it. I usually say it loudly and proudly.
People who were calling me cheap years ago are now asking me for advice
I had a friend who has made it a point to call me cheap, tight and really gotten down on me for going to Goodwill. Well, I've defended myself to a certain point and on several occasions she has told me I should fly her to wherever I happen to be living at the time as she always says she has no money.
So what is your experience and how have you handled it if/when someone calls you cheap or criticizes you for going to thrift stores? Also, do you hide it from people or ever make up stories for where you got such and such?
One thing to point out, the same way frugal people dont wanna be called cheapskates people who aren't as frugal don't want to hear how you got a case of toilet paper for $2 and they don't want lectures or speeches from you about how they spend their hard earned money.
I think often times frugal people talk about how frugal they are and the deals they got when the people they are telling don't care. Also, people who are spending money and having a good tiem dont want lectures about how they are spending their own money.
One thing to point out, the same way frugal people dont wanna be called cheapskates people who aren't as frugal don't want to hear how you got a case of toilet paper for $2 and they don't want lectures or speeches from you about how they spend their hard earned money.
I think often times frugal people talk about how frugal they are and the deals they got when the people they are telling don't care. Also, people who are spending money and having a good tiem dont want lectures about how they are spending their own money.
It cuts both ways.
Good point, but I think it's ok to an extent. For example, in my friend's situation, they have refi'd so many times now they have very little equity in their home purchased in 94. Then she complains about it while they are building a cabin on top of little equity in their house. I think it is perfectly acceptable to say I am glad I have my house paid off. BTW, this is the friend who always used to call me cheap and the one who used to tell me I should fly her to X place. She even had the nerve to say "Am I am a non-stop kinda woman," meaning no layovers for her. Meanwhile, I get the least expensive flight even if I means a layover.
And I think it's ok to point out where deals are. I have done this and have appreciated tips from others.
Of course I don't hide it. I usually say it loudly and proudly.
People who were calling me cheap years ago are now asking me for advice
That has to be nice. Actually, aside from giving people tips on where to get good deals, I don't really discuss my finances.
I once had another guy come over to my house and actually say "you have cheap furniture." My, my. I must sound like I only know the strangest people. Well, with three pets this ain't going to look like the Taj Mahal. Yes, it's a nice enough house, but I've never really splurged on furniture except in a few cases. Nice thing about that is when I move there will be not as much to take with me, as I have only five pieces of furniture I can't be without (or won't).
What you do is none of their business. At the end, you have money and she does not. Do you listen to Dave Ramsey?
No, but I have heard his name quite a bit. I'd be in much better shape if I had a JOB, but I don't. And I'd be much happier if I didn't live in a city where house values are dropping like flies with more to come in 2012. But I am blessed in that I have a roof over my head that is paid off, a car that is paid off and very little CC debt.
I'm an odd frugalista -- I don't go to thrift stores. Hubs does and does well with finding t shirts.
But I had a friend that was similar to yours -- and she picked on me because of my PURSE. I see a purse as a utlitarian object, not an accessory. I know how wrong I am -- I watch What Not To Wear...
I carried this purse for like 10 plus years and it still worked. I have a lot of purse rules, and for something to fit into my purse rules... well -- it's a lot of work. Anyhow... she used to get on me all the time about this purse, and I would always laugh it off.
Then came the time she needed to borrow 700 bucks to pay off her way past due electric bill or her and her 4 kids would be cold in the night. I gave it to her.
She was good about paying 20-40 bucks here and there.... and then came the Coach Purse And Wallet Incident. She proudly said to me she bought herself a Coach purse and matching wallet... but didn't have enough to get the shoes.... and she still owed me about what those damn things cost.
And she STILL rattled on about my old black purse.
She moved into "I'm friends with her because my husband is friends with her husband" territory.... no money exchanging hands however.
Well... my old purse's snap was loosening, and that's a problem when you can't close a purse.... so I had to go find a new one... took several months and I found the near perfect replacement -- AND WHEN SHE SAW IT SHE THOUGHT I HAD FINALLY LISTENED TO HER.... and that we could now go shopping, since I had broken this not spending thing I have.
I'd rather have dental surgery.
Anyhow -- due to what's going on at the place I work (thefts) I decided to corral it down further. I now don't carry a purse at all. I have a very thin wallet Trixie Tri-fold Wallet in my back pocket, and I carry my thin cell phone in my front pocket and my keys have a nice pen attached Inka - The Inka Pen
When she saw me last, it almost blew her mind.....
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meaning no layovers for her. Meanwhile, I get the least expensive flight even if I means a layover. 
