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Like many people, (and you Misty) I am making a bit less now than I was five years ago...not much less but everything is getting more expensive and my income isn't keeping up with inflation! I have mostly lived within my means all my life - or at least tried to - so I don't feel deprived because I can't afford professional hair coloring or newer cars or a new wardrobe every season change or whatever.
I've scaled back on "wants" as I've gotten older...I don't spend as much on travelling or dining and entertainment or clothing and personal care as I used to...but that's OK, my priorities have changed. I'd feel quite irresponsible if I were to, say, go buy a new car this weekend...I can no longer justify several years of payments just so I can drive a cool car. Twenty years ago, sure...but I'd rather put money into my real property or savings...I have two perfectly servicable, paid-for cars and no car payments. I have one house that's paid for and another that will be in about three years. I like that.
I look for things I can DO rather than things I can HAVE. I have DONE more in my life without a whole lot of money than most people!
One of my businesses is home improvement related and many of my clients are seriously wealthy. Job I just finished today: her daily driver is a Maserati, his is a Bentley. The baby-sitter/housekeepers get to drive the lowly Hummer. The house is a giant thing with two circular driveways. I doubt either ever has to change a lightbulb, clean a toilet, do dishes or wipe down a counter top; they have staff for all of that. They don't appear to be happier than anyone else though (I've been working on their home off and on for almost a year), just rich - they seem to me to have fairly sheltered and boring, if well-cushioned, lives...I wouldn't want to be them or live their lives, seriously. Boring. Yuck. Although I wouldn't mind one of the cars.
It's all about how much you save, not what you earn. If a person earns $100,000/year, yet saves nothing, they are poor. If a person earns $50,000/year, yet saves $25,000/year, over time, they are rich.
One of my businesses is home improvement related and many of my clients are seriously wealthy. Job I just finished today: her daily driver is a Maserati, his is a Bentley. The baby-sitter/housekeepers get to drive the lowly Hummer. The house is a giant thing with two circular driveways. I doubt either ever has to change a lightbulb, clean a toilet, do dishes or wipe down a counter top; they have staff for all of that. They don't appear to be happier than anyone else though (I've been working on their home off and on for almost a year), just rich - they seem to me to have fairly sheltered and boring, if well-cushioned, lives...I wouldn't want to be them or live their lives, seriously. Boring. Yuck. Although I wouldn't mind one of the cars.
This anecdote proves what psychologists who study the relationship between money and happiness have found....that once you get into the middle class income range of 40K to 50K per year, more money and more stuff aren't going to add to your happiness.
i have fun with it. its become a fun time for me to go through the circulars every week after dinner. when i get the costco coupon book its like a party i have. my wife bought a gallon of milk for 3.69 and i said "what kind of milk did you get? milk for millionaires!?" i go a little over the top as a joke but i try not to get to the point of annoying. i eat really cheap during the week. we go out more on the weekends, but rarely anyplace expensive and i always try to have a coupon. even have my wife trying hard to get the best deal and using coupons always.
i save much more than i probably need to but its something i enjoy doing (i have no other hobby type things except walking my dog). i tell my wife that buying more expensive things wont make me enjoy life any more. the one thing that will make me enjoy life more is not working. so until that is a reality, im gonna save.
i didnt grow up trained to be frugal. we could pretty much have whatever we wanted. but being frugal has given me a much higher quality of life than my older brother who doesnt save and bought a ridiculously overpriced home and now he has a daughter and baby mama and they are limited in their spending. i have zero financial stress, i dont think the same can be said for him. i didnt want to have to wait or count on the old man to kick the bucket.
I think you're really onto something big when you talk about the discipline frugality brings. Psychologists are finding that people who are happy tend to have self discipline. And people who exercise self discipline in one area of life are able to take that new found discipline and apply it to other areas of their lives.
Real life case in point: I helped a friend of mine with her finances and she's mostly gotten her financial act together over the last 4-5 years. A couple of years after she got her finances in order, she started going to Overeater's Anonymous and lost 60 lbs, which she has kept off for more than 2 years now. She recently made the connection about how getting her finances in order eventually led her to tackle her weight/eating issues.
My sister recently came to a similar conclusion about saving. She said to me that she has serious doubts about the future of our economy (as do I), but that even if everything totally crashes, the discipline you get from saving will give you the inner strength to help you through difficult times, whatever they may be. That inner strength is also something that no one can take away from you.
Interesting post. Good for that friend of yours. I too need to lose a lot of weight, but am going to approach it differently and some might not find this frugal.
For every day I eat a certain amount of calories and do the best workout I can I am going to pay myself $10. I figure I can lose all I need to in one year's time and I should have quite a bit saved up by then. However, I need more of a reward than simply the outcome. So I am going to treat myself to an expensive and exotic trip I've always wanted. Life is short and I could be dead in a year or the world could end in 2012.
Frugal? Probably not, but I look at the payoff (lowered blood pressure, not becoming diabetic, not making my heart work so hard, a happier me) plus a trip and it seems like a good plan.
This anecdote proves what psychologists who study the relationship between money and happiness have found....that once you get into the middle class income range of 40K to 50K per year, more money and more stuff aren't going to add to your happiness.
Oh to be in that income bracket income. I am officially living in poverty now. But there is a rhyme to this reason and madness I won't get into here. At the same time, car is paid for as is house.
In less than two years, if things go according to plan, I should have one HUGE worry off my plate that will save me a great deal of money.
i think being frugal and smart about spending is a great quality to have. but to me, being frugal, given my current situation, doesn't mean i need to go without "wants". it just means i need to be reasonable with "wants".
when it comes to food, im usually buying the same exact products other people buy (usually even same brand, sometime generic but only if i feel the generic is good quality) and im often spending half of what others are on the same stuff. im stopping off tomorrow morning for jelly because its 75 cents a pound, even at costco the same product is about 1.30 a pound.
Generally I am ok with frugality, but boy do I get pissed when I see the lady in front of me at the grocery store buying a heaping cart of unfrugal items with food stamps. I'm not opposed to helping the destitute but I do so much damn cooking to save money and cut back on things we might otherwise like, only to see someone filling the pantry with other people's tax dollars. That's the only time I start to wonder if it's really worth it to be frugal.
I find I enjoy frugality as as choice. If I'm being frugal and can bank away the extra I'm saving, that's gratifying. If I'm being frugal because I have to, and there's nothing left to save, that's not nearly such a fun adventure. I've lived both ways.
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The house is a giant thing with two circular driveways. I doubt either ever has to change a lightbulb, clean a toilet, do dishes or wipe down a counter top; they have staff for all of that. They don't appear to be happier than anyone else though (I've been working on their home off and on for almost a year), just rich - they seem to me to have fairly sheltered and boring, if well-cushioned, lives...I wouldn't want to be them or live their lives, seriously. Boring. Yuck. Although I wouldn't mind one of the cars. 
That's the only time I start to wonder if it's really worth it to be frugal.
