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OP, sounds like you both need to learn some time management skills. Your future bride definitely needs to learn some housekeeping skills. You both want what you want, but won't give up anything for it.
First, the "starter" house - when I first got married, we bought a real starter house: 2 beds, I bath, probably 900 sf. We had 2 children, and gave them the larger bedroom (2 girls) while we stayed in the smaller one. We lived there until our daughters were into their teens, and still own that little house. It comes in handy. We moved to a much bigger home after that. Lower your expectations.
The dogs: what's more important to you, your future family, or a couple of dogs?? If you can't handle 2 dogs, how will you handle 2 kids? You should consider getting rid of one or both dogs.
There will be an interim period between your wedding and your first child (hopefully there will be!). Why can't your bride work part time until she has the first child? It could take 2-3 years before that happens (we just never know). As far as I am concerned, until you guys are parents, you should both work, even if for one of you it's part-time. That is reasonable.
Lastly, stop counting your chickens before they hatch. That's an old-fashioned expression for, don't count on any future income that you don't have today. Another old expression for it is, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. We all want to have successful businesses, and careers that fly.
Is it doable? Yes. But you both need to do some growing up first. It isn't always "what it is".
It really is what it is. I see you didn't make any suggestions based on the schedule I posted. It is tough to fit more time into it. I also dislike people who think pets are dismissable. To me getting rid of a dog because it takes too much time or is too hard is on the same level as getting rid of a kid. Would you give your kid away because it was too hard? I think most people would say absolutely not. For us the same applies to a pet. We made the conscious decision to adopt two dogs, for better or worse, so it is what it is.
I have a stay at home wife and kids and I am very frugal
But I max out 401K, 24k a year
Do max 529 contribution to get tax break 10k a year
Do flex spending 2k a year
Do tranist check to pay for commute tax free 2k a year
Then medical is like 10K a year
Your schedule description is, sadly, simply what it means to be functioning and responsible adults in contemporary society where there aren't a whole lot of other people to fall back upon.
The dogs are a HUGE responsibility. I'm a pet nanny and although I think dogs are great, they're soooo much more work than cats. I could NEVER have dogs at this stage of life. Dog sitting means 1.5 hours of each day per dog sitting client. I bet you're spending 1.5 hours a day on your dogs too. It's an incredible commitment. Not saying you need to get rid of them, I'm just pointing out that when I'm not dog sitting I have an additional 1.5 hours a day to myself (I actually limit the dog sitting piece of my services to just 10 or less days each month because I value my time with my family and hobbies).
Otherwise, you'll need to work with cooking. Make sure your recipes make a ton so you can use them for lunches and freeze for future meals. This week I froze half a pan of lasagna and 4 fillets of teriyaki salmon (just boil some rice and add a salad). I make frozen burritos and they're not fancy or even flavorful, but they get the job done and they're healthy (I make the beans from scratch too).
We do cook pretty large meals now, which take about 1.5 hours between prep and cooking. We are both vegan, so unfortunately that means a lot more prepping fresh veggies and mixing spices. I used to be a meat eater yet two years ago and there were MANY more quick and convenient meat or vegetarian dishes to be had. As vegans, most of our decent meals require that 1.5 hours. It usually is enough for us to make two dinners and two lunches out of it, but that still means we need to cook about 4 times a week. And not always do we have the 1.5 hours to make something, so we do make something smaller that maybe only takes 30-45 minutes, but then we have less of it for leftovers, so end up cooking the same amount of time anyway over the course of the week.
You can do it, but I think you're rushing things a bit. You both want her to stay at home, have a child and you want to buy a house. If you're going to do that soon, then you should be prepared now. You should be debt free (or close to it), have money in the bank and a reliable car.
My husband and I did just that for some time, but he was prepared. He had a very stable job, paid off his college loans two months after we married, had been paying a mortgage for seven years and had money in the bank.
I have to say, if you'd like to spend more quality time with your fiancee, having a child isn't going to do that for you. If anything, you'll have less even if she's not working.
We do cook pretty large meals now, which take about 1.5 hours between prep and cooking. We are both vegan, so unfortunately that means a lot more prepping fresh veggies and mixing spices.
Oh yeah, vegan diets, vegetarian and just healthy diets take up a lot of time. I'm only part-time employed. The other half of my day is spent cooking and cleaning (and I go to yoga 3-5x a week). Cooking takes me at least 2-3 hours, but 4-5 hours in the kitchen (I do clean as I go) probably happens once a week or so. My meals are complete and I'm trying to account for the picky kids of the family. I mostly prepare plant-based proteins or dairy. During the month I do try to fit in one whole roasted chicken and a little bit of salmon (for the fish oil... but I'm in PNW and my town hosts "Salmon Days" every year for a reason ). I have a few vegan meals in my menu rotation... they're either soups or legume casseroles with grain and vegetable side dishes and either chocolate cake or this lovely coconut tapioca parfait from the Moosewood cookbook (so divine in the summer heat!).
I think having vegan cooking down to 1.5 hours is really great. So nevermind..
Really read MrMoneyMoustache's blog... He *definitely* thinks you can live a baddasss life on $40k.
Really read MrMoneyMoustache's blog... He *definitely* thinks you can live a baddasss life on $40k.
Money Moustache did the exact OPPOSITE of the OP.
Him and his wife made good money (around $135k a yr IIRC) for many years straight out of college. He flipped a house or two and made a ton of money on those, and then also got caught in the huge rising tide of the stock market. He also bought his residence before the HUGE housing runup in 2000, and it's completely paid off.
The OP is going to do the EXACT opposite. Comparing the two is quite simply crazy.
You can't compare the OP to someone that did all their retirement saving by 30 and is essentially retired at this point in time. They have the free time to make $40k do-able, and don't have to save money for retirement, or pay rent or a mortgage.
^^^ I agree with above. You make decisions in your life and just do it with your eye's wide open. My husband and I are both in our mid-40s. We had kids in our early 20s and both of us worked full time. Now, our kids are out of the house and I am retired (22 year military career) and he works full time while I take care of everything else around the house.
My input is to make your money now while you don't have any life detractors to set you up later on. Either way you go, you both need to discuss it, agree and go do it. If it doesn't work out then adjust accordingly. Just go in with your eyes wide open and your expectations managed. If you're worried about money but able to spend more time together more than likely you will just be arguing about it and it won't be quality time.
Eh, it is what it is. Dogs are extremely important to my fiancee and bring her lots of joy. Yes though, they are lot of work and shut some doors for cheaper rent
In hindsight, one dog was fine. Very manageable. We definitely made a mistake getting a second dog, a little too much responsibility that we weren't 100% ready for. It is what it is though. We do the best with what is on our plate.
Thanks for the money mustache link, very interesting read.
Speaking of dogs, did you include vet care in the budget? The older your dogs get, it's very likely their vet bills will increase. Even when they're young there are annual shots, heartworm medication etc.
You chose to convert to a vegan diet. You chose to have 2 dogs. Those both take up time. If you choose to have kids, those take up a lot more time. Those are choices.
My husband and I (who have no kids, and 2 cats, which take up very little time), both work full time, and quite often over full time. Last week and this week, we've both put in overtime at work. We still manage to find 3 hours together most evenings, because we don't have dogs to take care of or 90 minutes of food prep. Plus weekends all day.
I assume you still have weekends together. Plus you can work out together and prepare meals together. That is more than my husband and I had together for the first few years of our marriage, when I was working 60 hours a week, off hours, and we saw each other awake about 5 hours, total, per week. Even now, he is gone when I wake up in the morning 5 days a week, and some days, he is asleep by the time I get home from work.
We actually could live on 1 income, but we wouldn't be able to save anything, and would never be able to retire. That is just too much stress. Money issues are just as stressful, if not more so, than time issues. So going to one income only trades one type of stress for another.
We live in a 2 income society. If you want to live on one income, without going on welfare, you will need to make some sacrifices.
If you are really serious about this, you should first try living on 1 income for a year, and save the entire other salary. If you can manage that for a year, you'll know you can do it, and have a substantial emergency fund saved up.
I would not try this if you have less than 6 months worth of expenses saved for an emergency.
Him and his wife made good money (around $135k a yr IIRC) for many years straight out of college. He flipped a house or two and made a ton of money on those, and then also got caught in the huge rising tide of the stock market. He also bought his residence before the HUGE housing runup in 2000, and it's completely paid off.
The OP is going to do the EXACT opposite. Comparing the two is quite simply crazy.
You can't compare the OP to someone that did all their retirement saving by 30 and is essentially retired at this point in time. They have the free time to make $40k do-able, and don't have to save money for retirement, or pay rent or a mortgage.
The money mustache article was inspiring, and kudos to him and his family. However, I noted immediately how fortunate he was in his situation and like you said, me and him are on very different planes of life.
For example. Money mustaches and his wife both majored in pretty much the two lowest investment-highest rewards majors currently available. Computer Science and Engineering. Money mustache was able to secure a very well paying salaried+benefits gig right after graduating at a young age (job market and the twenty something's life is much different in 2015 than it was in 1997!) He rode the tech revolution through the early 2000s and late 1990s. He was able to find increasingly gainful employment with ease, with stock options and bonuses to boot. In 5 years he was bringing in 100k and his wife also was working with gainful employment making ~60k.
Never once in the article did he mention having to persevere through any fallouts like layoffs, unemployment, large unexpected financial expenses, medical emergencies, costly relocations, etc. They had a very high and STEADY cash flow, and it was easy to save it. Heck, me and my fiancee are big savers too, but we aren't making $150k a year.. Heck, if we were we could easily save 80-90k COMFORTABLY per year. School loans would be paid off. House buying would be simple. But that's not where we are at.
As inspiring as his blog is, it only applies to a few select people. Those who are making high incomes but spending foolishly. If anything, some other good takeaways are cutting down on expenses, investing, and majoring in something like they did (cough be a computer sci or engineering major cough!), but if your income isn't above the minimal baseline you need to live, you can't really save, eliminate debt, or invest like him and his wife were able to.
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). I have a few vegan meals in my menu rotation... they're either soups or legume casseroles with grain and vegetable side dishes and either chocolate cake or this lovely coconut tapioca parfait from the Moosewood cookbook (so divine in the summer heat!). 
