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I grew up in a small town in Maine. In 2001 I moved with 2 sisters and a niece her husband and her kids to So Carolina [My sister's health wasn't good and we thought a warmer limate would help her. In 2007 my niece's husband got a job in Dallas so they moved out there In 2008 my niece was in a terrible wreck and her 10 yr old daughter [my great niece] was killed and her son [my great nephew] was seriously injured [almost lost him 3 times and she was seriusly imjured with head injuries. My sister flew out to Dallas to help them out [and she HATES flying]. In '09 my other sister and I had saved up the money to move out and we did, [MY health was declining rapidly] NOW after 11 and a half yrs WE want to return to Maine [I have a younger sister ,married and 2 girls BOTH married and BOTH have a child each we've only seen them in pictures]. If health issues and money issues don't mess it up we will be back home. Texas is nice, BUT my hometown is a lot better
I have a degree in graphic design and a degree in marketing. Neither one of these fields are good in Indiana. I should know, I live here. I was unemployed for several years. I moved to Indiana for my husband's job. So I understand why you want to try someplace else. I finally got a job but not in my field. It could lead to bigger and better things, I dunno. Lucky for me, my husband has a good job so we are doing okay.
Yes your family loves you and that is awesome. They want you close and I understand that but you can't live your life for family. My husband and I did this for many years. I always wanted to leave my home state of MI for something new but my in-laws are a tight bunch. Any talk of moving got them riled up. My family on other hand are a bit more independent and my siblings moved a lot due to the military so moving out of state isn't a major ordeal like how my in-laws view it. When we broke the news to my husband's side, they lost their freaking minds. So we stopped talking about it but kept looking at opportunities out of state. When we found one, we gave them a week notice.
I dont agree with letting a career suffer to be by family. As I stated we passed on a lot of opportunities because we felt it was best to be by family. Our family got to see our son go through the baby years and so forth. yes it was great our son got to know his family but in our situation we kept him quite sheltered about it. My in-laws are all about material wealth. It defines you. So when I lost my job and worked crap jobs for years and my husband's pay was cut, we became the losers. We got tired of the snide comments about our old car, our small house and how they thought about asking us to go on an outing but it was probably too expensive for us. So do we starve to please family? No.
our son was upset with the move and my husband and i felt terrible about it. But after some time he adjusted and now he is a teenager. I feel bad because we can't really shelter him anymore on how critical the in-laws are. He hears the comments now that previously went over his head. One of my husband's sisters lost her home and now lives in an apartment. She has taken the loser spot. Our son hears the comments now and is very disappointed. He used to say he wanted to move back but now he says he likes it better here.
Anyway, everyone has their own personal thing but my advice is, live the life you want or at least try. Good luck to you!
good for you! I applaud you for not giving up on your search for something in your field ..its been hard for me not to.
thanks, im trying my best to just tell myself that I will be much happier for doing the move and everyone else will get over it
If you have a definate destination set, find out the stuff about it which effects how you move. Is it easy to replace it cheap or cheaper to bring it? Weather and clothes, etc. The first things I packed were breakables other than dishes, marked nicely, and stored. When I needed encouragement I could look at the boxes. Strange but it helped.
Not eating out is good, and looking at your bills and seeing where you could shave off ten bucks or so helps too.
Keep remembering your goal and looking forward to it even when you get discouraged. When you break the news, do it with a smile, too.
thanks. this is very helpful...going to write some figures down on paper and really start planning
Hey intro one, do not pay one bit of attention to anyone telling you to stay put. Go live your life and go where you want.
Do your homework, try to find a job before you move anywhere, then go for it.
Take a job anywhere you can find one. The DC area is a hot job center compared to most of the country. IMO you can get a job there, get experience and in the years ahead you'll be employable in many places.
We spent 31+ years in that area, suggest living near the DC metro system in northern virginia.
Just get a job there, anything close to marketing will do. Just do it. Tell the family goodbye and "come see me."
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good for you! I applaud you for not giving up on your search for something in your field ..its been hard for me not to.
thanks, im trying my best to just tell myself that I will be much happier for doing the move and everyone else will get over it
No, I got a job in IT. That is why I understand you wanting to leave Indiana. I really wanted to move to the PNW myself. I say keep your options open and move where you want.
Hey intro one, do not pay one bit of attention to anyone telling you to stay put. Go live your life and go where you want.
Do your homework, try to find a job before you move anywhere, then go for it.
Take a job anywhere you can find one. The DC area is a hot job center compared to most of the country. IMO you can get a job there, get experience and in the years ahead you'll be employable in many places.
We spent 31+ years in that area, suggest living near the DC metro system in northern virginia.
Just get a job there, anything close to marketing will do. Just do it. Tell the family goodbye and "come see me."
hmmm thanks for the suggestion. I have considered DC in my search before but didn't realize it was such a hot place for jobs. going to look more into there too especially if marketing is hot there.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fallingwater
No, I got a job in IT. That is why I understand you wanting to leave Indiana. I really wanted to move to the PNW myself. I say keep your options open and move where you want.
ahhh ok. yeah definitely going to keep my options open and not let anyone stop me!
Nearing 32 myself, moving way from my folks who i've always been close to is proving very hard for me as well these past years. My parents mean everything to me still, even though they are driving eachother apart from their own stubborness as they age. I didn't finally get my own place outa the home till I was 25 due to finacial reasons and trying to get a job in the IT field in my town. That was back in mid 2005. My younger sister married in 2007 and moved away outa state and that was hard on my folks, especially my mom who suffers from depression and my dad being an alcoholic.
Now im at another impass since becoming single again of do I give up my stable, good paying job and nice, comfortable and safe town home and go to city that I've wanted to move to for years and be stuck with possibly crappy, low paying job in a more expensive city and state were I don't know anyone and also abandon my parents who need my help with things, especially technology related still?
It's proving very difficult for me to wanna get outa my safety shell and home town, i've always thrived best on stability and lack of change when I have the option. At other times, I hate being still in the stupid town and state that i've been in since I was born and I wanna get outa here but the economy is such a wreck right now.
Nearing 32 myself, moving way from my folks who i've always been close to is proving very hard for me as well these past years. My parents mean everything to me still, even though they are driving eachother apart from their own stubborness as they age. I didn't finally get my own place outa the home till I was 25 due to finacial reasons and trying to get a job in the IT field in my town. That was back in mid 2005. My younger sister married in 2007 and moved away outa state and that was hard on my folks, especially my mom who suffers from depression and my dad being an alcoholic.
Now im at another impass since becoming single again of do I give up my stable, good paying job and nice, comfortable and safe town home and go to city that I've wanted to move to for years and be stuck with possibly crappy, low paying job in a more expensive city and state were I don't know anyone and also abandon my parents who need my help with things, especially technology related still?
It's proving very difficult for me to wanna get outa my safety shell and home town, i've always thrived best on stability and lack of change when I have the option. At other times, I hate being still in the stupid town and state that i've been in since I was born and I wanna get outa here but the economy is such a wreck right now.
Having OCD doesn't make this any easier either
What state do you currently reside in and where do you want to move to?
I've moved twice from RI; Once to Arizona for 6 years when I was 24 and just recently to charlotte nc at 38. GO NOW while you are young! This second move has been really difficult because my dad passed away and my mom is getting older. Plus my brothers have children and I miss my nephews everyday. I have a stepdaughter who really wanted to move to California (she's 24) and she was upset about how many people discouraged her. We told her GO! and call us if you need a airline ticket home. She is having a great time so far. I missed out on some closeness with my cousins because I was gone, but am proud of myself for living someplace else and trying something new. You can always go back home again, in fact when I came back from AZ not much had changed. And you don't want to regret never taking a chance. Plus when I came back to RI after AZ, I appreciated alot more about it and enjoyed being home more.
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Our son hears the comments now and is very disappointed. He used to say he wanted to move back but now he says he likes it better here. 
