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So my husband is unemployed right now and looking--mostly in NC (we're in New England). I have a job. We go 'round and 'round on this too. Money is tight but I keep saying--just MOVE down there--rent a cheap studio apt short term and job hunt from there. If you find a job, then we can look for him to rent a house for a year in the school district we want and the younger two can transfer down there while I stay behind w/ our oldest who will be a HS senior next year.
I'm not a huge risk taker, but I'd do this if it were me. He's dead set against it. What's the diff if he's sitting on his butt here vs there, except for the additional rent!
What do others think? How should I convince him? He absolutely HATES it here (I'm fine here but tired of winter and really is the driving force behind this push to relocate).
Location: Upstate NY native, now living in Houston
663 posts, read 2,265,852 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by findingmesomeday
So my husband is unemployed right now and looking--mostly in NC (we're in New England). I have a job. We go 'round and 'round on this too. Money is tight but I keep saying--just MOVE down there--rent a cheap studio apt short term and job hunt from there. If you find a job, then we can look for him to rent a house for a year in the school district we want and the younger two can transfer down there while I stay behind w/ our oldest who will be a HS senior next year.
I'm not a huge risk taker, but I'd do this if it were me. He's dead set against it. What's the diff if he's sitting on his butt here vs there, except for the additional rent!
What do others think? How should I convince him? He absolutely HATES it here (I'm fine here but tired of winter and really is the driving force behind this push to relocate).
OMG. Are we the same person? This is my exact story but without kids. I finally just threw my hands in the air and said "fine, we will sell the house and move ... just shut up already." And 4 months later, here I am, moved. Can't figure out yet if it was a good thing or not. I'll revive this post again in 2 years with the update. LOL
In the meantime, what I suggest you do is search both your head and your heart to find the answer as to what to do. That is what I did. You can't go wrong once you've reflected upon this and feel confident in your decision. It's sounds totally corny, but it's true!
OMG. Are we the same person? This is my exact story but without kids. I finally just threw my hands in the air and said "fine, we will sell the house and move ... just shut up already." And 4 months later, here I am, moved. Can't figure out yet if it was a good thing or not. I'll revive this post again in 2 years with the update. LOL
In the meantime, what I suggest you do is search both your head and your heart to find the answer as to what to do. That is what I did. You can't go wrong once you've reflected upon this and feel confident in your decision. It's sounds totally corny, but it's true!
We've been here almost 11 years but only because I dug in my heels for the sake of the kids and stability. He has been the driving force behind every move we've made since the mid-90's. Maybe even before that. I never wanted to leave City A to move to City B but I did. He wasn't happy/couldn't find a job. And so on. And here we are. His career has had its ups and downs while here but right now it's going nowhere. As I said, I'd be happy to stay and have the kids finish school but the youngest is 10 years away from that! We have a small window of opportunity now so if he thinks this next move is the magic bullet then he should do something. Also, since our oldest is interested in the state school system there, I have to admit to a bit of an ulterior motive. Cheap college tuition!
We've been here almost 11 years but only because I dug in my heels for the sake of the kids and stability. He has been the driving force behind every move we've made since the mid-90's. Maybe even before that. I never wanted to leave City A to move to City B but I did. He wasn't happy/couldn't find a job. And so on. And here we are. His career has had its ups and downs while here but right now it's going nowhere. As I said, I'd be happy to stay and have the kids finish school but the youngest is 10 years away from that! We have a small window of opportunity now so if he thinks this next move is the magic bullet then he should do something. Also, since our oldest is interested in the state school system there, I have to admit to a bit of an ulterior motive. Cheap college tuition!
So my husband is unemployed right now and looking--mostly in NC (we're in New England). I have a job. We go 'round and 'round on this too. Money is tight but I keep saying--just MOVE down there--rent a cheap studio apt short term and job hunt from there. If you find a job, then we can look for him to rent a house for a year in the school district we want and the younger two can transfer down there while I stay behind w/ our oldest who will be a HS senior next year.
I'm not a huge risk taker, but I'd do this if it were me. He's dead set against it. What's the diff if he's sitting on his butt here vs there, except for the additional rent!
What do others think? How should I convince him? He absolutely HATES it here (I'm fine here but tired of winter and really is the driving force behind this push to relocate).
If he is unemployed right now and both of you are planning to move to NC anyway, what better time to start looking for a job in NC than now. Also, if he finds a job where both of you are living at now, it will just delay, or even possibly eliminate the chance to move.
I agree with your suggestion. It is almost like a 1 year plan starting with him moving to NC to find work, then you joining him down the road. Definitely sounds like a good plan to me especially if he has nothing to lose Career wise or job wise where you are at now.
Glad this thread was revamped! Seems like God was sending me the answer to all my doubts and questions : )
I am moving without a job since it seems every single one I apply for want me to test right away or start right away. Sorry no can do! I am supposed to test with the City of Dallas this Thurs and it is killing me to decide to go or not to go. If I don't go may be a missed opportunity. Then the airfare is a monster too, even if I bid on Priceline.
So I too have decided it is way better to be local to job hunt unless it's some Exec position and they really want you. Not the case for me!
I figure all the jobs I am finding now I will find when I get there and get settled.
Good luck to you caligirltotx! I'm sure things will work out for you. I too plan to relocate without a job if I don't get one beforehand because I feel that is the only way to get my foot in the door in a new city. Too many employers want you to be local or say "Call me when you move here". If you have enough money saved up to live off of for a while while you job hunt, then why not?
Glad this thread was revamped! Seems like God was sending me the answer to all my doubts and questions : )
I am moving without a job since it seems every single one I apply for want me to test right away or start right away. Sorry no can do! I am supposed to test with the City of Dallas this Thurs and it is killing me to decide to go or not to go. If I don't go may be a missed opportunity. Then the airfare is a monster too, even if I bid on Priceline.
So I too have decided it is way better to be local to job hunt unless it's some Exec position and they really want you. Not the case for me!
I figure all the jobs I am finding now I will find when I get there and get settled.
Have you spent much time in Tx? I have only been through there so I cannot speak about it but I have a friend that moved 8 months ago to Houston and is planning on moving back to CA as soon as she has the $$. She didn't spend time there but moved for a good job. She has decided that a good job wasn't worth the move. She HATES it.
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