Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I am from CT and my husband works in the NY area. He has a successful career and his salary most likely wouldn't be matched in any of the states we'd love to move to (N.C, T.N. or S.C.)
I've been reading these forums for years, I have realtors in North Carolina and Tennessee that send me homes daily via email. I'm in a constant state of daydreaming yet as time goes on, I'm realizing we're never getting out of here.
I guess I just wanted to vent and see if there was anyone out there like me. Who researches places, reads forums, compares the property taxes etc only to be disappointed that this will never happen.
Or if you just did something crazy and decided to seek out employment elsewhere even though you have a great job. (When I say great I mean his pay and benefits, it's actual very stressful and he'd leave it if he could)
I'd love to hear your story,
Thanks!
I feel your need for something else. I am excatly like you with one difference...I will do it! I will take that chance. Now if I could just sell this condo.Good luck!
I know how you feel, since it took us 3 years to sell our house and I was always ready to pounce on a new place, just in case the sale happened.
There is nothing wrong with looking, if you enjoy it.
If your husband is on board, he should look for a job in the areas you desire, and when he gets an offer, you will have a decision to make. Until then, it's just a dream. It costs nothing to look. Once he gets the offer, are houses selling quickly in your area? Is your house in top condition to sell? You can also amuse yourself by getting your decks cleared and getting any postponed maintenance done. Pretend you are putting your house on the market tomorrow. Is it ready?
Perhaps he will not find anything he wants, and the decision will be made for you. As others have said, any of the states you mentioned have a much lower cost of living than CT, however you would need to be careful of the school systems.
I can tell you that the first winter you spend in he south, when CT is getting a blizzard, you will think all the trials of moving were worth it.
We were once in your shoes. We did choose financial stability. My late husband died of cancer at age 50. We were on a very solid savings track to fund our retirement at age 55. So I was a widow with enough money to fund ventures we had dreamed about together and the lucky one to find another spouse who believes in living in the now. And my lovely sweet man was the workhorse with no end reward. Many regrets about this every day....
This made me tear up. Hugs to you, I'm so sorry. I think of the hours my husband puts in, his terrible commute and the stress he endures, often. Thank you for sharing your perspective.
I know how you feel, since it took us 3 years to sell our house and I was always ready to pounce on a new place, just in case the sale happened.
There is nothing wrong with looking, if you enjoy it.
If your husband is on board, he should look for a job in the areas you desire, and when he gets an offer, you will have a decision to make. Until then, it's just a dream. It costs nothing to look. Once he gets the offer, are houses selling quickly in your area? Is your house in top condition to sell? You can also amuse yourself by getting your decks cleared and getting any postponed maintenance done. Pretend you are putting your house on the market tomorrow. Is it ready?
Perhaps he will not find anything he wants, and the decision will be made for you. As others have said, any of the states you mentioned have a much lower cost of living than CT, however you would need to be careful of the school systems.
I can tell you that the first winter you spend in he south, when CT is getting a blizzard, you will think all the trials of moving were worth it.
I love the thought of no more true winters! Our area definitely isn't selling well at all. I've seen houses sit for almost a year or more. People seem to be fleeing CT so it's not a sellers market at all. I'm thinking we'll actually lose money, the most we can hope for is to break even. But you gave me some good ideas~ thanks!
I feel your need for something else. I am excatly like you with one difference...I will do it! I will take that chance. Now if I could just sell this condo.Good luck!
Well, I'm doing exactly that early next year. It has been a year and a half and one voice tells me no you should stay because you make such great money, and the other, louder voice says nope...I'm tired of this job, this town, everything. I don't care as long as I can afford to live and I know I will eventually move up the ladder and make more after being there a while.
Sometimes you have to change your priorities to be truly happy.
I agree with you, I'm glad you're taking the plunge and just going for it!!! Good luck!
When we were busy raising our family and pursuing our careers we dreamed of moving someplace warm and sunny and did a lot of research and exploratory trips. This really helped us enjoy where we lived while preparing for something better. We retired, relocated, and are enjoying life. I wish we could've gotten here sooner, but that just wasn't practical for us. Life's all about choices and adaptation. Best wishes.
This is what we do now too. I know we'll at least retire somewhere sunny if life doesn't bring us there beforehand! Thanks!
My sister did it. Just decided one day around June 2007 she was getting out of NY. Told me she was moving to FL and I said "you're crazy". Fast forward to June 2008 and she had her teaching certificate in NC (having changed her mind about FL) and was sending resumes like crazy, getting ready to close on her NY house and I was helping her pack. Her family moved in July, she got a job in August and the rest is history....except my parents, sister and myself all moved there as well.
If you really have no intention of taking a chance and moving, stop torturing yourself and live your life where you are. To do otherwise is unfair to yourself and your family.
When we got married 30 years ago, we decided to live where WE WANTED. So, we did, and continue to. We don't dream of moving someplace better, because we're already there. I also carefully chose a career that afforded the kind of lifestyle we wanted to live. Which for us means a lot of toys, travel & fun. I also ALWAYS traded money for time off, which may sound conflicting on the surface, but not in reality.
Never really worked more than four days a week, absolute max, and my beautiful wife was there every day for our kids.
We could have had bigger houses, bigger boats, more race cars, etc., but time off to play with my family was my first priority. That should be any parents as well, I firmly believe. Last week, our 25 year old son was telling me how much he loved our summers on a lake in WA. I always took a nice summer vacation, and some unpaid time as well so we had several weeks to have total family fun TOGETHER.
The point:
Money = stress. Why bother with the fast paced struggle for more? Slow down, enjoy the ride. Be where you want to be. Do what you want to do. Otherwise, you're wasting life...
I'm not really the poster-child for what to do in this scenario because I handle it wrong.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
