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big hugs and thanks to all of you...I didn't really expect that anyone would take the time to not only read my ravings, but to actually reply!! You guys are great. Yes, I am thankful to have a career that allows me many choices as far as location goes. We are actually narrowed down to a shorter list now, and that is somewhat helpful in itself. We just want to find a place that we can put down some new roots and grow. We know we will never be natives, but that's ok. I just feel like some kind of gypsy or nomad right now. Homeless in a house, if that makes sense. I want to find a home. A place to nest and feel safe and comfortable. A place for my kids to have kids. Sorry for going on...just got off the night shift and am a bit tired. Well, it's off to bed for me, gotta get back to work later tonight. Thanks again for all your suggestions...I sincerely appreciate it.
And to add "the grass is not always greener over there". We were moved to NC and back by company. And it was a great thing. We found out that we take ourselves with us and really did like the familiarity of the old place.
Not that NC was not wonderful. Loved the climate and the vibrancy of the area. Loved the flea markets and what we found to do around gardening. But also developed some life threatening allergies which disappeared when we moved back to the Midwest. A very unexpected development and it took some time to appear.
We have talked about moving to a better climate but we would miss our used bookstores, garage sales, auctioneers, doctor, vet, hairdresser, etc. So we have decided to stay and now we are truly enjoying where we live. No more thinking "it must be better elsewhere" since we are trying to make it the best where we are.
I suggest you and your husband decide what you want. Forget 'prices' and 'stats' and other things.
Ask yourself, where do I see myself? Where do I want to be be (mountains, ocean, deserts?), what kind of places do we desire to live near...
We did the whole 'places rated' search for 3 years until one area finally clicked. You are lucky as a nurse there are so many jobs.
Go where you want, not somewhere because 'stats look promising.' I don't say move to a ghetto but there is more to life than 'stats.'
YOu said you are a nurse. Why don't you do the travel nursing thing. that way you can experience living somewhere and know what it's actually like before you move permanently. I have learned the hard way that no matter how much you research, what is on paper is nothing like actually living in the city that you choose to move to. It's called the human factor. Just like going on a blind date, the guy (or gal) may have all the so-called qualifications that you are looking for, but when you meet them in person, the spark might not be there. there is no way to quantify that so you'll have to test the waters before making the next leap.
And to add "the grass is not always greener over there". We were moved to NC and back by company. And it was a great thing. We found out that we take ourselves with us and really did like the familiarity of the old place.
Not that NC was not wonderful. Loved the climate and the vibrancy of the area. Loved the flea markets and what we found to do around gardening. But also developed some life threatening allergies which disappeared when we moved back to the Midwest. A very unexpected development and it took some time to appear.
We have talked about moving to a better climate but we would miss our used bookstores, garage sales, auctioneers, doctor, vet, hairdresser, etc. So we have decided to stay and now we are truly enjoying where we live. No more thinking "it must be better elsewhere" since we are trying to make it the best where we are.
This post is the best, and I personally needed to hear someone feel the same way I do. I can't wait to move back to the Midwest. Like sweetena, you can appreciate many wonderful things about previous locations lived. But, there's nothing like home. My homeland might be in a big snowstorm and blizzards, but it doesn't waiver my path back. Sure, I live in a place that has good weather now, but I hate the heated summers out here and so dry I can't pet my cats without getting zapped all the time. I long for familiar ways and culture and people. That's how I've determined my future location.
Though Fort Collins, CO, is always going to be my second choice if it doesn't work out.
What gypsysoul says makes sense about forgeting about stats and looking for something that suits our lifestyles first, and looking at the stats as a way to narrow down further. And yes, I can appreciate the going back home thing, but we've been married for 30 years this month () and are from different worlds. He's country, I'm city. We spent most of our married life rural, in his home area and raised our kids there. Then when they left the nest, it was apparent they would not come back due to the economics of that area, so we sold out and moved to Sarasota, FL. Just big enough for city girl me, and just small enough for country him. That place was magic for us, but illness wiped us out enough we needed to move someplace less costly, soooo, here we are. I still wake up a year later and think I'm there, that was the first place that was home to me in all the years we were married. I think in part because neither of us was from there, and hardly anyone is a native so we fit right in. Made wonderful friends, had a good job...but that's that, and we must move on. So I guess I'm trying to find another "Sarasota" for us. Going back to either of our birth homes doesn't work for us, and truly neither of us want that. And NYLatinQT is right, I think it probably is like a blind date, ya gotta see for yourself in person. So I think we are in for a few "blind dates" in our future before we move again. And even the places that aren't necessarily for us are still fun to visit and explore.
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I'm in the same quandry right now. And have been doing research for a few months.
Good luck, let us know where you end up deciding to move to!
Me, too...
I think it's harder to make a decision if you've ever made a bad decision about moving somewhere. I'd had all good experiences (mostly) in my life... never left somewhere with a "bad taste" until recently and now I'm having a hard time deciding where to go.
Having been many places, like some of the other posters, also makes it difficult. You come to a place when you aren't looking for another adventure... you're looking for a home... like the OP said.
I would like to know what exactly you don't like about Springfield, MO. I considered moving there, too!
Springfield is what everyone is looking for on paper. Low crime, good schools, variety of jobs, beautiful scenery, mild (? depends on perspective) winters, and lots of business and housing development. I think if we had school age children or were totally retired, we might give it more of a chance. But the main issue we have not been able to overcome is the closed and somewhat rude attitudes we have encountered. We normally make friends easily, but have found the natives have no need for expanding their already established circles. I'm sure that's not something only found here, but as big as the population is, we did not expect it. It is really a big small town. It is very culturally and diversity limited. And for some, that's what they are looking for. We became used to things like a well rounded newspaper, recycling, environmental stewardship (MO does not have any protective water regulations for example), and seeing folks out and about biking, walking, jogging, etc. Those things lack here. Being a nurse, you would think there's all kinds of opportunities here, but the pay and benefits are less than I am used to, and because of my 25 years experience, I start in at the top of their scale, so up movement is limited. There is only lateral movement, and I happen to like the specialty field I am in which limits me here even more. But that is us, most who come here just fall in love with the place. We have been here a year now, and have made some surface friends, but we have already decided to leave next year. Do not let my postings dissuade you from checking out the area, please. There are many good reasons to come here. Like anywhere else, ya just gotta check it out for yourself.
I've recently spent about 2 months exploring around MO because of the low cost of living, low population, and everything that one hopes for and checks out when they're researching places to move to...
This is my take on MO...
Missouri is a study in contrasts. It's a very pretty state if you like farm land. You have real cowboys in their hats... and then you have real gangs all across highway 70 east to west... St. Louis and KC which are two of the meanest in the country (according to some statistics)... and then you have most of the state which is extremely poor...
There are no jobs here... that's why the cost of living is so low.
And, along with what you said... It seems that there are many newcomers moving here. What I've found is that there are two prices for houses here. One for locals - the real value of houses... and then there's another price for out of staters... (it's illegal but I swear it's happened more than once... )
Good ol' boys....I can't decide whether to pity them or hate them.... but, that's the way they seem to welcome newcomers to the state!
Last edited by World Citizen; 12-04-2007 at 07:06 PM..
Reason: left out word
Looking, looking, looking....and going in circles.
I feel your pain.
We live in a world of too many choices and too much information. We imagine that one choice will lead us on a better path to happiness than all the others, and thus, we get lost in a quagmire of decision making.
We overload our brains with information. We lose touch with our intuition, our creativity, which we usually depend on to guide us, and suddenly we go numb. The safest decision becomes no decision. Status quo.
In reality "best choice" is a figment of the imagination. There is no best choice. It's not the decision we make, but how we implement that decision that is most important. What we do with it.
Victor Frankl had some profound comments on fate and decision making in his book "Man's Search for Meaning," but I can't find the quote anywhere. I'll buy the book later and if I can pull anything out of it, I'll post it for you. It's a wonderful book, only about 100 pages long.
Greenie
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I can totally relate to your situation
) and are from different worlds. He's country, I'm city. We spent most of our married life rural, in his home area and raised our kids there. Then when they left the nest, it was apparent they would not come back due to the economics of that area, so we sold out and moved to Sarasota, FL. Just big enough for city girl me, and just small enough for country him. That place was magic for us, but illness wiped us out enough we needed to move someplace less costly, soooo, here we are. I still wake up a year later and think I'm there, that was the first place that was home to me in all the years we were married. I think in part because neither of us was from there, and hardly anyone is a native so we fit right in. Made wonderful friends, had a good job...but that's that, and we must move on. So I guess I'm trying to find another "Sarasota" for us. Going back to either of our birth homes doesn't work for us, and truly neither of us want that. And NYLatinQT is right, I think it probably is like a blind date, ya gotta see for yourself in person. So I think we are in for a few "blind dates" in our future before we move again.
And even the places that aren't necessarily for us are still fun to visit and explore.
Missouri, in general
