Adults who moved in High school, how did you adjust?

[eddie1278]

Originally Posted by reed303

I too was moved out of state in the 11th grade, due to step-father's job. From a 400 student semi-rural HS to a 4000 (!) student affluent suburb HS. There were 998 in my grad class the next year. I made no new friends. The cliques were to hard to break into.

I was earlier moved in the 6th grade from one town to another, but at least there were still relatives in the area. But still did lose touch with school friends.

I believe as a result I have not been able to make lasting friends over the years (neighbors, co-workers, etc).

In your case, moving back may not be the answer either. There is an expression "you can never go home again". It is never the same.

Good Luck to your son. Hope he makes the best of the situation.

Sounded like my situation back in 1995 when i was in 12th grade i moved from my hometown in nj to the suburbs of pa. My hs in nj had about 400 kids total 9-12th about 65 in my graduating class. When i moved to PA my class had over 500 students in it. I couldn't really make friends with anyone i cut school a lot and ended up moving back to nj to graduate. I barely made it with enough credits.

[NOLA2SGF]

I moved to another state a week before my senior year began. It was wonderful! Best thing that happened to me in high school, really. Classes were easier, homework was simple, and for the first time I was actually popular, with lots of friends and lots of dates.

I think it is a different experience for different kids.

[ChrisTK]

I moved and attended four different high schools, two my freshman year and two my sophomore year. Finally leaving the 3rd school is what ruined me. I went from the high school I thought I'd graduate from, one I grew to love after a month, to one a hated, to one I loved even more than the first one(and had I stayed, I might not hate MN so much) to one I hated completely and made me hate the city in general.

I hated everything honestly. I hated the state, the city, the school, the people. I didn't make many friends or even try hard in school, I was dead convinced we'd move within a few months. I didn't bother trying to date or get close to anyone for fear of being separated again after getting close.

I also went from a super diverse, huge, LGBT friendly, art/culture crazy, overall freaking awesome and everything I love about a place high school to a small, close-minded, anti-lgbt, kinda racist and backwards, and cliche crazy school whose freshman and sophomore population combined would make half of my old schools freshman population. I never got a say too, I was told to get used to it and I'll learn to love it.

Had I had a say, I'd have opted to stay in Minneapolis. I grew to adore the city, actually loved my high school, the transportation was AMAZING, and I actually let myself break my own #1 rule and I got close, dated a lot, and made tons of friends within the tons of different groups I hung out with (art, lgbt, theater, track/cc, etc). I got none of that in Brainerd and felt it was the worst place I ever moved to.

Honestly just sounds like your son went from perfect life and everythings great to a, what he might see as, random ass move to an even worse place. Don't know, but just a guess. I know my first few months in Brainerd were like that, until I graduated honestly, but mostly because I moved from a perfect on perfect city and high school (living situation was trash but everything else offset that) to a **** on **** city and high school, but living situation was slightly better. Had my own room, TV, laptop, and coffee pot. That made the weeks bearable.

[nightbird47]

I was always the shy kid in school. In Elementry School, I had good friends from our neighborhood there too. Mostly I ignored other kids. I loved school, but was very shy.

Jr. High I was picked on a lot. It didn't occure to me then but part of it no doubt had to be because one of my best friends had had polio and used a brace. She was also very hard to understand as it had effected her speech. But she was my friend and I'd tell bullies to get lost. Her parents once thanked me.

I was somewhere between being angry at the bullies and seeing it as a way to show I could be a better person. I was a loner then too, so my friends were very close, and one time we were having a baking display with cookies on little sticks. A couple of the 'popular' girls were poking the unpopular the sticks. I finally lost my temper and did something, don't remember anymore, but I think it was to grab the stick. Somehow I hit the girl. The girls vp listened and I got suspended for a day, them two weeks. After that they left me AND my friend alone, which was fine.

High school, I LOVED having our own little group of misfits. We had our bench, and ate our lunch there. When forced ot go to the stadium for a football rah rah, we'd sit together and all bring a book. We had this great little society of one bench full for a year, and then some moved, including me. I just moved to a new high school for my senior year when we bought a local house.

My graduating class was about 400. You didn't have to change your high school if you were going to be a senior. I wish there had been a bus to get me there, but wasn't. We opened with a half finished campus. First dat the rought count was too high and the overage turned out to be construction workers. Since there was no PE setup I escaped that at least. But I never got to know anyone and went half a day the last semester. We had graduation but none of the fun stuff that I was looking forward to. That year was the one I do wish somehow I could have stayed at my old school.

As a kid I was very shy, and as an adult I'm 'reserved'. I could take ages to decide I liked another kid and am much more critical about adults. We had this nice big house that year, walk to the beach. But in the apartment I met one of my best friends ever, and we and some other early trekkies did our own episodes on reel to reel tape. We all just 'got' each other and despite the house being nicer, I missed all that very much.

For shy kids, its hard to make friends and there may only be a few, and they are more likely to be harrassed by others since they react. I know some moves are unavoidable, but if kids are shy and doing okay where they are, partents should include them in the decision making on a move, or if its only a year maybe just wait. You can't go back and retrieve lost time. Kids old enough to be in high school should be part of the plan.