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We moved 5 months ago from MI to FL. I have felt at home the entire time, but I have family ties here. My dh is really having a hard time, even though his job is better, future opportunities for him are better, he loves the ocean (we are on the coast), he likes the church we found, and he was really excited to move here. But he doesn't feel connected and seems very depressed lately. He's been saying he wants to go home.
I think it probably just takes time to feel comfortable in a new place. Maybe a year? He's impatient for sure, but I'm hoping this is something a lot of people go through? What do you think? I'm trying to be helpful, but I'm not sure how.
Location: Prescott Valley, Az (unfortunately still here)
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Normally, the first 2 days I get there. But I can't wait to move to Florida next year, I know I'll feel right at home the minute we get in the state!! LOOL!
We moved 5 months ago from MI to FL. I have felt at home the entire time, but I have family ties here. My dh is really having a hard time, even though his job is better, future opportunities for him are better, he loves the ocean (we are on the coast), he likes the church we found, and he was really excited to move here. But he doesn't feel connected and seems very depressed lately. He's been saying he wants to go home.
I think it probably just takes time to feel comfortable in a new place. Maybe a year? He's impatient for sure, but I'm hoping this is something a lot of people go through? What do you think? I'm trying to be helpful, but I'm not sure how.
It could actually get worse for him. There is no substitute for family.
Keeping in touch with friends and fam always helps but your move will be alot easier if you start joining groups and getting into community actitivities. That's usually the best way to start feeling 'at home' again. Good thing that you mentioned he enjoys his church. Hopefully, that should make things better. Try doing some activities with other members outside of church, too. Moving is never fun (lol I'm so over it myself) but I'm actually moving within my same town so for me, it's just a matter of getting to know my new neighbors. Good luck to you and your hubby!
We relocated away from most of our large, close-knit family after DH and I both spent 40-plus years in our birthplace. It certainly helps to have each other and our two daughters here in our new hometown, plus some of our family members visit frequently (it's about a 10-hour drive). Living in Florida, you may find family visiting more often over the summer, and it should definitely help having his parents move down.
But moving from MI to FL might be more of a culture shock for him. We at least stayed in the same region of the country (Southeast), so our accents don't sound "funny" and the climate and culture are about the same (both a blessing and a curse).
Something that was really helpful for us--joining a Circle Supper/small group through our church. Our group includes several others who relocated here, and we socialize at a monthly potluck at a different home each month. We've made our closest new friends through this group, so we're really glad we found this church and group.
I wonder what it really is that is making him feel this way.
I don't think that the answer is a specified amount of time. This is a state of mind that needs to be resolved by working out what the problem is.
Let me tell you this story. We used to have neighbours here in the UK who had moved in from a village five miles up the road and they were feeling homesick!
I could not believe it- they actually moved back to that village and there we were about to move 4800 miles, pets and all to Texas.
I loved it there but had issues trying to adjust to the way of living. I never felt homesick.
I guess it's all a state of mind, and I am not decrying anyone that does get homesick, though those neighbours did stretch my patience.
I can relate to your husband. My situation is a bit different though in terms of my adjustment. We also moved from MI but to IN. We didn't move far but I experienced major culture shock. We lived just outside of the Detroit area and now we live in a semi rural area. No more walking to the store and not the city life I had experienced most of my life. My husband has a great job but there are very little opportunities for me so I have been a stay at home mom since we moved here 2 yrs ago. I have yet to make friends due to not really getting out and meeting anyone. I am trying to find groups or other means to meet people but making friends is not as easy as one might think.
I do not miss Michigan in terms of cost of living and the economic woes. But a recent trip back home to see family left me feeling even more disconnected. Little things like not seeing the smaller children in the family since last summer and the kids change so much. Also we tend to be the last to know anything. My sister n law had been ill and lost over a 100 lbs. No one really clued us in on this so I felt like an idiot when I did not recognize her at all. Some family members had moved into new homes and that felt odd. I guess in a way I feel like nothing is supposed to change while Im gone. Since things feel so different to me when I do go home to visit and then not feeling completely comfortable in our new locale, makes me feel a little jaded. This causes me to become depressed at times. Sometimes I wish we could move home. But then I don't miss Michigan and everything we wanted to move away from. Soo....I just take it day by day and hope eventually my locale will feel like home.
It takes as long as it takes. There's no 'rule'. There's no forcing it. Some people spend their entire adult lives in one place and never feel like it's "home".
Last place I lived, I felt at home within about three months, and it probably would have been sooner if I hadn't arrived in the middle of an extremely harsh winter that made it hard for me to get out and explore and become familiar with the area. Conversely, I've lived here for almost two years and still don't feel like it's home. The difference wasn't because of anything I did or anyone else did. I just 'fit' better in the other place than I do here.
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Since things feel so different to me when I do go home to visit and then not feeling completely comfortable in our new locale, makes me feel a little jaded. This causes me to become depressed at times. Sometimes I wish we could move home. But then I don't miss Michigan and everything we wanted to move away from. Soo....I just take it day by day and hope eventually my locale will feel like home.
