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If you love where you have always lived, stay, and enjoy it. You can always visit other places.
I liked where I grew up, but always wanted to try some place new and different. My decision was made easier by 1) marrying someone from elsewhere and 2) my family of origin being mostly dead or moved away from my home state. There wasn't much holding me there and I'm glad I left.
It depends on where you grew up. I grew up in San Bernardino, California -- a hell hole by pretty much every standard. Still, home is home. I didn't have any desire to leave home, but as soon as I did at the age of 19, I never returned. Pretty much everywhere in the US is a better place to live than my hometown. If I had grown up in a nicer place though, I wouldn't feel any great loss from having never left home.
Do you feel it is inherently valuable to move away from where you grew up, even if it is just for a few years? Is it an experience everyone should have? Did you move away and love it? Regret it? Did your return. I'm just curious about the experience of others.
I only think it's valuable if you are trying to re-invent or make something of yourself.
I would have used my hometown (Riverside, CA) as a crutch to not make anything of myself. I could have seriously worked at the same neighborhood restaurant I worked at from the age of 15 on and never left there for the rest of my life. It was simply too easy. The thought of leaving was intriguing, but the comfort of not having to jump up/get off my butt to do something else with my life was....comforting.
My area was very upwardly mobile, and expensive. Being poor isn't really an option, you have to work yourself to the bone to make it, it is simply an accepted way of life there.
I tried to stay, even moved to a different part of the same metro (Rancho Cucamonga, CA) to see if it would be different (it really was, in so many positive ways), but ultimately I was convinced that it was never going to be "forever home" for me, so essentially I took my first ticket out of there for something/anything different. Everywhere else was so different than home (I traveled quite a bit as a kid), I felt that I needed to give it a shot. I moved to a small town two hours away (Ridgecrest, CA).
What was supposed to be a 6-12 month save up/really get out of CA plan, ended up taking 3 years. I made tons of friends, found a job I enjoyed, and met my future wife in this town. I still was somehow convinced that small-town desert life wasn't for me. I felt that my soul would have melted away there. Also, my mother died when I lived there, so that was a kick in the butt to get me going. Plus, I missed so many of the amenities of home, but still didn't want to return there. I found a big city that met my needs, and off we went (Denver, CO).
I loved Denver at first, but I had rose-colored glasses on the first two years. I found a great job, and was doing well. Work asked me to transfer to Spokane, WA (this was 2009, we all believed the economy was in the toilet back then), so I did.
Spokane felt like where I belonged. How or why, I really don't know. It could have been all of the trees or the angle of the sun for all I know. I had to be literally dragged away kicking and screaming. If I have the opportunity to go somewhere to die, it will be there. Work had me return to Denver, which is where I've been ever since.
I owe Denver a lot. I grew into a man here. I have done well in my career here. It works almost perfectly on paper, but not in application, which I guess is good enough. I don't regret leaving home for one second.
I've only returned to the land of my roots a few times since I left CA for good in 2007. Last year, I went back to the same restaurant I worked at from the age of 15-20, and none of the faces were the same. It felt like everything went on without me, but I really missed nothing. My brother still lives in our neighborhood, still works at the same store he worked at when I left 12 years ago. He is content/happy, and will probably remain there for the rest of his life.
I say, if it's not broken, don't fix it. I wanted more experience out of life than I felt home could offer, and I've achieved it. It scares me to think of what I would be had I never left. But......I don't have any family here in Denver (aside from wife/kids), my friends are mostly negligible, all I really have is my house, work, and money (). Nothing to soothe the soul, nothing to provide comfort, or even the feeling of "home".
Ultimately, I think most people are looking for what you have, they are trying to satisfy an itch they can't put their fingers on, and in the end they realize that they had it to begin with. I miss Riverside a lot, but when I recount the why's, it's mostly in the way of stupid little things like fast-food places I miss, a good radio station, proximity to the ocean, and even the local TV news. Culturally, I'm "normal" for there, which as a whole doesn't really matter, but it helps even more when you feel like an impostor (as I do) in my adopted home.
Hopefully this gives you something to chew on OP, I feel like you've made the right choice by staying "home".
Location: Born & Raised DC > Carolinas > Seattle > Denver
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I love my hometown of Washington DC, and I love the Redskins (hence the username )
But I joined the military when i was 19, traveled the world, and had a blast doing it. I realized that I was hooked on visiting new places and experiencing new cultures. I could never settle back down in a familiar place.
Guess that's why I've lived in 7 states in the last 10 years LOL. It's one thing to visit a place, like go to Miami for a long weekend or hit up LA for a week, but it's another thing to live there for a while. To really get to know heartbeast of the city. The slang, the fashion, the food, the people.
At the age of 38, I moved out of Texas for Washington DC. Do it! You can always come back. What was my main reasoning? I didn't want to look back at the age of 65 and think of the opportunity that I passed up. Any regrets? Nope, I love it here in DC. My only regret was I waited too long.
At the age of 38, I moved out of Texas for Washington DC. Do it! You can always come back. What was my main reasoning? I didn't want to look back at the age of 65 and think of the opportunity that I passed up. Any regrets? Nope, I love it here in DC. My only regret was I waited too long.
This gives me hope. I will be 35 (I'm 30 now) when I can finally save up and leave OKC, barring unforeseen circumstances. This time it will be for good. A lot of people think relocation across the country for a life change is for college grads in their early/mid twenties, and by your mid thirties you should be settling down where you are.
I am 30, and I have lived in Chicago all my life, except when I went to college I lived in Champaign-Urbana, but I feel like it almost doesn't count. It's only a 2.5 hour drive from Chicago, the size of the neighborhood I grew up in population essentially, and all the students were from Chicago or Chicago suburbs. So new location, but familiar/same faces everywhere I went. Also it felt like a downgrade. It was college town in the middle of nowhere, mostly just chain restaurants, and not much to offer outside the college life. Half my high school went there too so it didn't feel like that much of a new experience either.
In 2017 I will be moving to Miami. I love Miami, the weather, the tropical feel to it, the Latin culture. Now, I know I won't like Miami as much as I love Chicago. Chicago is the greater city in almost every way for me (except weather). However, last year I realized I just wanted to get out of here. I am actually bored in Chicago. That's not to say Chicago is boring (not at all), but I have seen every neighborhood a million times, have experienced all the nightlife has to offer, been to the majority of hot restaurants, been to every beach multiple times, every festival, all my friends are from my childhood, high school, college etc. And while I love my friends as well it's time for a change. The only thing I'm not sick of is my family and that is actually what I am going to miss the most and what sometimes has me considering not moving. Luckily my father spends half the year just an hour north of Miami, so he will be close 6 months out of the year.
Sometimes you need a change. I need to experience something different. As much as I love places like Boston and NYC, I have no desire to live there because I feel I will be doing more or less the same in regards to city life. I want to be in a new climate, new landscape, a city with completely different types of people, different vegetation, different outdoor activities. Sometimes you just need that. I love to explore, but I have been exploring Chicago essentially for 30 years of my life and is all I know. I've never experienced a year without a winter, spring or fall. I don't know what it's like to live by the ocean. There is nothing left for me to explore here.
So I think it's good to go somewhere new. Will I live in Miami forever? Maybe, maybe not. But I do know that if I don't see myself living there forever, I will be coming to Chicago as there is no other place in the US where I would want to live. You only live once.
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