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We are both originally from the Pacific Northwest, Washington state to be exact, and we recently had to move down to Georgia (Atlanta to be exact) due to my job and because it is a lot more affordable than Washington. I am a Punjabi guy but completely westernized and my fiance's background is Danish. I have the black hair, brown eyes, and light brown skin while she has the blonde hair, blue eyes, and pale skin. We are both in our late 20s but we often got told that we look "younger". Both of us met back in college, hooked up, and it became serious for us after that.
Back in Washington, no one really cared, it was somewhat common to see Indian and Asian guys dating white girls. Definitely not the case in Atlanta, as we learned the hard way.
Well, Georgia has been a lot more affordable but a bit different for us. We have gone to stores and out to eat to where people practically stare at us, some of the stares are definitely met with anger. At times when we go to eat out together, I look around and there are tables just staring at us, it is that blank stare of disapproval. Some of the people have made comments like "brown boy with blonde woman, don't see that too often" and laughed afterwards.
I remember one time when we were eating, this guy (looked to be in his 20s and white) came over and stood next to my fiance, kept on hitting on her like I was not there. We ignored him but then he commented saying "guess some women do hate the American flag, hope that Muslim is worth it *****". We just stared and reacted in shock but then what came next shocked us even more, some guy clapped and gave him a thumbs up and said "Make America Great Again!". We ignored them and ate our meal but that meal was ruined due to what we went through.
At first we didn't want to admit it but then it became more and more obvious. I was talking to my fiance a week or so ago and some of the things she has told me about what other people have said about me behind my back have been, well, not too welcoming.
My fiance tells me about how some of the "southern" girls she became friends with through church who later became aware of me have pushed her into going for a "southern gentleman" who she would look good next to. She tells me about how she constantly gets grilled about dating a "Muslim" (I am not a Muslim btw) and whether she is aware of how they treat women, some of these girls are in their 20s btw. A lot of jokes about how she gets to have "711 for free" and she has told me how some of the people she has met, younger ones surprisingly, have made a lot of off hand racist comments to her about going with me.
She stopped hanging out with them and going to church but her cellphone did keep getting hit hard with texts, she blocked the #s.
I get it too, just a lot of questions and other things from guys who are our neighbors talking about "what I like about white girls so much" and "what's wrong with Indian girls?".
Being from Washington, I was not used to this sort of stuff but after being in Georgia for a little over a year, it has been eye opening.
People don't make too big of a deal out of white guys here dating interracial or black guys dating white girls but Indian guy with a blonde is definitely not okay by Atlanta standards from what I observe.
The one thing to love about the state is that unlike Washington, it is very affordable here.
Are there any other affordable areas of the USA where things are a lot less hostile? We both live in an apartment so we can definitely afford to move.
OP, I'm so sorry for the way you and your fiancee are being treated. There are a lot of racist and bigoted asshats out there. I get the appeal of LCOL, but the reality is, the most culturally and ethnically diverse areas with fewer issues of overt racism will be in the PNW, metro cities in California, and progressive areas in the Northeast. And Denver. There are other areas, pockets, but it's still iffy. You're chancing a lot if you don't know the racial climate of the area, and that's not something you want to consider lightly.
Your options are likely to be MCOL or HCOL. I love Nor Cal, and there are areas that are more affordable than others. I grew up in So Cal, but it can be pretty expensive. (also lived just outside of Seattle)
Quote:
Originally Posted by cheryjohns
Houston. Huge city with a majority of transplants from all over the world. Interracial couples everywhere.
I would have thought a city as big as Atlanta would be fine, but apparently not.
If Atlanta was a crapshoot why would Houston be any different? I would choose Atlanta over Houston any day. And "interracial" relationships may be common in metro cities, but certain interracial relationships are better received than others. Black + white? Pretty common these days, but still a big no-no in many areas. Just because people aren't calling out names to these couples doesn't mean the racism doesn't exist. White + Hispanic can be pretty similar. My former SIL's family gave her **** for dating a Puerto Rican and Italian man instead of a "local boy" (white country man), and the same for her first husband, who is Filipino. They live in SWVA.
But I was okay because my father's white and I can pass for "mostly white."
A white woman with a ME man in Texas? I bet they'd get just as much **** in Texas, even metro cities, as Atlanta.
If Atlanta was a crapshoot why would Houston be any different? I would choose Atlanta over Houston any day. And "interracial" relationships may be common in metro cities, but certain interracial relationships are better received than others. Black + white? Pretty common these days, but still a big no-no in many areas.
A white woman with a ME man in Texas? I bet they'd get just as much **** in Texas, even metro cities, as Atlanta.
Because I am damn familiar with Houston, that's why. I have had many interracial clients and many interracial friends - no one ever looked twice at them that they noticed. I have had them mention how friendly Houstonians were compared to other places.
I have had friends and clients that included a white woman and a ME man. One of my close friends is Middle Eastern, with a white wife. They have never noticed any odd behavior or gotten any ****, as you call it.
Now if they went to Bugtussle, Texas - no doubt an entirely different story - but the rural Texans don't accept white couples whose great-grandparents weren't born there, either.
The OP also mentioned affordable.
Last edited by cheryjohns; 07-11-2016 at 12:33 AM..
Your experience in Atlanta sounds like an outlier because all major cities, esp a big city like ATL, are used to interracial relationships. Unfortunately, you'll find ignoramuses like those you describe everywhere. Don't let these people's actions and opinions affect you an your SO.
I know a well-known cardiologist from Pakistan who is married to a white European woman and he still gets those funny stares and condescension. Never mind that this guy owns three medical practices in Maryland that provide a valuable service to certain parts of MD & PA that are under-served. Yet a few people still view him as an outsider esp with his accent, religion & ethnicity.
He asked for an affordable are of the US Unfortunately, it seems that the more affordable the are is, the less welcoming it is to diversity...
What about Portland, Oregon and/or Denver Colorado? Of course NYC tri state, Boston, DC are more diverse but far from affordable...
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Unfortunately, it seems that the more affordable the are is, the less welcoming it is to diversity... 
