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I rank metros and have done some since 1985. From my lists taking into consideration economy, overall cost of living/buying power, housing costs, transportation, recreation, education, health care, climate/weather, and crime; combined with the Consumer Preference Index (polling and census info of what the average American considers "Quality of Life", which is recalculated every 5-10 years), here are the top 3 metros (in no particular order) from my last ranking in 2015 in the population parameters you listed:
Large: Chicago, Dallas/Ft. Worth, Atlanta
Medium: Charlotte, Cincinnati, Kansas City
Small: Omaha, Knoxville, Asheville
COL doesn't seem to be as important of a factor of Quality of Life here on C-D as it is nationally. It affects too much of the average person's life to be ignored to the degree it is. I know that won't fly very well on here, lol, but demographic trends and being able to afford more on less AND still enjoy great recreational assets within a strong economy says otherwise. Though NYC, SF, SEA, and LA have their merits, the blind love fest some have with these areas ignores key QOL factors. The Seattle/Tacoma area would've been on this list 5-10 years ago. But the overwhelming rise in the COL and its associated negative effects has made it much less desirable and eroded at their QOL. Anyway, great thread!
Not considering COL, for me among the places I have been:
Large: NYC, SF, Chi
Medium: Portland, Denver, Sacramento
Small: Honolulu, Charleston, Chattanooga
For the small category there are many other contenders that I've never been to and could quite possibly make the top 3. Omaha, Tulsa, ABQ, Greenville, Boise, etc.